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What To Do??!

Connie J... • Jun 26, 2023

Helen wasn't sure what she should do!!! She had been contacted by a former classmate, Blanche. A few years ago, after a class reunion, while getting together for lunch, they had discussed Facebook. Blanche, said though she didn't have a page, her husband Frank, spent a lot of time on it. Helen gave her the information to give Frank. They had doubled a few times and hung out, in high school, so she knew Frank, and thought, "What the harm?"

Well - back in high school she had been VERRRRRY needy, and targeted by many predators. She had done a lot of work, since then, and put most of her predators where they belonged - in the past. Apparently, her memories of Frank had been blocked - until that night, when he sexted her over Facebook Messenger. She had always been a very good victim, shall we say; and just fell into old times so fluidly, it was scary.

As soon as she realized what was going on, she got off Messenger, and proceeded to block, remove, everything she could do regarding Frank. BUT, she had still crossed her line, and the shame and guilt came rushing in!!!

Incidentally, when they got together years ago, Blanche had been going on and on about all the divorces in the class; and how proud she was that she and Frank had been together since she was 14 (she was now in her mid-50s).

Fast-forward - Blanche contacted Helen recently, and wants to get together. Since that incident, years ago - every time she has thought of Blanche contacting her, again, Helen has dreaded the thought. So guilt-ridden, it was almost paralyzing. When she did contact her - the guilt came - but the difference was when Helen realized she HAD done the right thing after she realized what was going on with Frank, and stopped it immediately. She took responsibility, so WHAT DID SHE HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR??! She didn't contact him for immoral things, right??!

Helen has decided she is going to tell Blanche everything. The friendship may survive, or it may not; but most importantly, Helen will be able to live on guilt-free from yet another ugly thing in her past that was dealt with in a healthy manner.

Life is really hard, sometimes, and choices MUST be made. Always remember - YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR!!!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I generally share a "What If..." post, once a month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

By Connie J... 06 May, 2024
...EVERY day. Our "human-ness"; our ability to utilize our empathy and compassion. Many of us are so busy making ourselves crazy trying to prove we're "right". So many are forgetting about that NEEDED human connection; that we're NOT here alone. We, some much to their chagrin, need each other - for survival.
By Connie J... 29 Apr, 2024
When I began my healing process, I journalled, a LOT!!! I come across an old one, periodically, and skim through it - just to see how far I've come; then have begun to shred them. I mean, some of it was over 30 years ago!!! Looking back can be a good thing, but why keep it around? I figure some day, I won't be here - do I want someone perusing my funky thoughts from back then? Some of them were pretty scary; but all part of MY process to get where I am, TODAY. So I'm not really ashamed; but why put someone else through that?
By Connie J... 26 Apr, 2024
...how much Domestic Violence has become more covert in my Community, since the Derailment? It's always been there - It's EVERYWHERE!!!
By Connie J... 21 Apr, 2024
I read somewhere that when you don't feel wanted, we make ourselves feel needed; and realize now, that is what I've been doing my whole life." (taken from a Facebook meme created by tinybuddha) I spent over 3/4 of my life being "pathetically lovable", and "needy". The only way I thought you could get ANY attention from anyone, was to be needy. Whelp, that's not it, at all!!!
By Connie J... 15 Apr, 2024
When you first meet me, I may come across as random, quirky, and CAN be downright annoying. But, if you stick it out, I am one of the "deepest pools" you may ever meet. This used to really bother me; it now only bothers me when I am really trying to connect with someone, and they just don't "get me". Which isn't all the time, thank God!!! Sometimes, it just "clicks".
By Connie J... 25 Mar, 2024
One of my "gifts" has always been listening - more often, than not, to what is NOT being said. I was reminded, recently, that not everyone has that gift. A friend was in kind of a scary situation, as one might be in Domestic Violence situation. She had asked numerous people to assist her (people that were assigned to "have her back"), and they dropped the ball. It wasn't really safe for her to express the specific help she needed - it could have escalated quickly; thank God it didn't - but, she alluded to it, as best she could, and she was left hanging.
By Connie J... 09 Mar, 2024
Well, I did it , and it shows Both in my scars, and my woes Perseverance is key To be a Survivor, like me Life will hand you a LOT And you have to go on
By Connie J... 09 Mar, 2024
How often do you say, "Sorry" , when you express your feelings to someone you're close to; or even work with? If it's almost all the time, maybe it's time to "reboot" your "sorry meter". I think I've used the word, "Sorry", so much in my life, I feel like it sometimes loses it's credibility. I literally walked into a chair in my friend's dining room, once, and said it!!! THAT'S a problem!!! I have recently decided to really reign in my apologies. Not that I am turning cold-hearted; just that I really am NOT responsible for everything bad in the world, or for everyone's choices - amiright??!
By Connie J... 04 Mar, 2024
Was recently hanging out with a friend, and her significant other. She didn't know what something was, that HE had lost. He was trying to get me to side with him on how dumb she was for not knowing what it was. Did I mention HE HAD LOST IT??! He made a snide comment, and added, " Women! " I looked at him, and said, " You're a little outnumbered to be trying that, here. "
By Connie J... 26 Feb, 2024
Part of My "Patchwork Quilt of Life"
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