What CAN I Do??!

 By: Connie J..., June 27, 2023

I used to be a “fixer”; and uber codependent. I tried to save EVERYONE around me from suffering…well…ANY kind of emotional pain.

This led to me, basically, “absorbing” a LOT of pain and suffering from everyone around me – and it didn’t really lessen THEIR suffering – we BOTH ended up miserable. Trust me, that can wear on a person – REALLY fast, and go deep.

I finally learned (and still get little lessons, periodically) that it is NOT my job to fix things (or ANY other person’s, either). It’s the individual’s choices – AND responsibility.

Our job is to be available for others, to form relationships to support one another – like a bridge. Ever really looked at one? They have the basic platform; but there are usually cables, or extra beams, etc, to support that platform – how droopy and quickly worn down would it be, without all that support??! Not a bridge that I would like to go over.

But, there is a way to be supportive, without getting enmeshed in someone’s suffering. Empathy is one great tool – but pity is counterproductive.

For example, the empathetic individual comes along beside, and supports them – like those cables or beams on the bridge. A team effort; while pity would only add more strain and weight to that already droopy bridge/person.

It’s okay if you cannot help EVERYONE. My theory is, if everyone in the world could be kind and help ONE person, all the world’s problems could be solved – but the small “handful” of kind individuals are trying to solve ALL the problems.

Realistically, all you can do, is what you CAN do – and only you know what that is. By the way, being guilty into doing things, only makes you resentful – something else that is counterproductive.

The NUMBER ONE thing you can do, is keep trying…

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe in this upcoming New Year…

#oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice – but, “What If…” they read something you sent them, and it just “clicks”?

*I generally share a “What If…” post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”. Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer, at the website ozerministriesinc.com, or email, ozerministries@att.net.

PREVIOUS POSTS

By Connie J... August 24, 2026
...a good color to see life through. I am a second-generation (that I know of) "rageaholic". My fuse used to be so short, I sometimes wondered if there was even one to light - or that it was straight powder. As I have grown, matured and learned who I REALLY am/want to be, I have worked on that fuse. I watched my Father rage for most of my 51 years, before he passed. From conversations with people at the nursing home, I believe he had an 11th hour reckoning. While in my 20s, I had a friend take my car keys, "Because friends don't let friends drive angry." In my 30s, while in front of a judge, yet again, for speeding, he asked why? Told him I was angry. He pulled up my docket, and asked, "Were you angry this time, and this time, and this time...?". One of the MANY tickets, I was actually tired - ALL of the others were anger-related. Like I said, red is NOT a good color to see life through. I have been behaving, for many years, now; and if am angry, I find other outlets. Some of them being: - talking to someone - journaling - some type of creative venture - writing poetry - listening to/writing music - blogging (this blog is a GREAT outlet!!!) - art therapy Any number of options are available. You just have to make the choice to not be controlled by that anger. Does any of this connect with any part of your life, or someone you know? How have you fought that anger; or have you faced it, yet? Trust me, it will jot just go away. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #anger #red
By Connie J... August 17, 2026
I hear so many people say things, like, "When ___ happens, I'll be ready to ___.", or "If only I could ___, then I'd be ready for/to ___.", etc. They're looking/waiting for something external to cause the change. Like "The Good Witch of the East" told Dorothy and her crew; what they needed was inside them, all along. It's the choices you make EVERY day, both good AND bad, that compound and create your life. If you're not happy with how your life's going, what choices can you make, RIGHT NOW, to change your life's trajectory. To quote Erin Brockovich, "Superman is not coming."  What are YOU gonna do to bring about change??!
By Connie J... August 10, 2026
Often, when I feel that desperate urge to help someone (especially if they have NOT asked for it), I have to stop and ask myself, "Who am I doing this for??!". Having been such a people-pleaser for so long, I gotta check my motivation. Sometimes, doing something for the wrong reason, is as ineffective as not doing it, at all. I mean sure, who CAN'T use help, almost always - but I'm scoping further out - am I coming between them, and a very valuable life-lesson? Have they landed in this particular situation due to the life-choices THEY have made; and if I swoop in and help them, am I robbing them of that life-lesson??! While THAT really isn't my choice to make - my helping them, is. If I feel compelled, like in my bones - yes; but if I have a "catch" - you KNOW what that is, perhaps I need to just step back. You cannot be controlled by whether they get mad, or not - follow YOUR feeling, and do what YOU need to do. Have you ever found yourself in this kind of predicament? How did yours play out? 
By Connie J... August 3, 2026
Often, when I feel that desperate urge to help someone (especially if they have NOT asked for it), I have to stop and ask myself, "Who am I doing this for??!". Having been such a people-pleaser for so long, I gotta check my motivation. Sometimes, doing something for the wrong reason, is as ineffective as not doing it, at all. I mean sure, who CAN'T use help, almost always - but I'm scoping further out - am I coming between them, and a very valuable life-lesson? Have they landed in this particular situation due to the life-choices THEY have made; and if I swoop in and help them, am I robbing them of that life-lesson??! While THAT really isn't my choice to make - my helping them, is. If I feel compelled, like in my bones - yes; but if I have a "catch" - you KNOW what that is, perhaps I need to just step back. You cannot be controlled by whether they get mad, or not - follow YOUR feeling, and do what YOU need to do. Have you ever found yourself in this kind of predicament? How did yours play out? 
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