I recently had a situation happen, with someone I consider to be close. I have asked them to not speak FOR me, numerous times, when someone asks ME a question. We, again, had the same scenario about a month ago.

When it happened, before, I called them as I was leaving the venue, expressing my anger and frustration (they had left before I did). Well - fast forward to almost exactly a year, later - BAM, same thing happened.

I just spoke to them, this week, after almost a month. I have been working on what to say, all this time - in writing; but I realized, that me taking any more time, seemed a bit cruel, as I usually speak to them at least once or twice a week. So, I called them the other night (they had texted me, "How's it going?", almost a week ago); and what I wanted to say came out clearly, just the way I wanted it.

Their response was an apology - they didn't realize was angry, followed by, "I'll try."

When I awoke the next day, my thought process was that, "I'll try", is like a child when caught doing something wrong, asking, "Please Mommy, can I have one more chance??!". It did NOT sit well with me, at all.

They are an adult. I realize I cannot control what another person does, or says - only how I react/don't react to a situation. As I have previously blogged, I am working the "Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins, into my "life toolbox".

The first part is "Let Them" do what they're going to do; ah, but that second part is, "Let ME do what I NEED to do". This is where Boundaries enter the situation.

See, letting them be who they are, does NOT give them carte blanche to treat you however they want and you just lie there, like a doormat. You need to work out, and inform THEM, in advance, "if you do A, B will happen". Just like should be done with children.

Also, I was VERRRRRRY angry at first - that's why I wanted to wait until I wasn't, to confront them; and I told them this. As I did, they grew up with a rageaholic; and always got caught up in the "why are they angry with me??!", missing the real issue.

I am still working out the specifics on what my boundary will be; but, here we are. It has to be a boundary I WILL follow through with - otherwise, this last month has been a complete waste of my brain process.

I will not let their actions stop me from going where I want to go, or be with the people with whom I want to be.

How have you handled this type of situation, in the past? Does it sound familiar? What did YOU learn from it?

We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com. Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #boundaries