The Grief of Abuse...

 By: Connie J..., September 22, 2025

One of the things many people skip over, when they discuss working through their abuse, is the overwhelming sense of Grief you're left holding.


It can be for any number of reasons - but the feelings you have are just as real, and important, as the abuse itself.


If you don't process that Grief, right alongside it, if possible - it's kind of like walking forward, while leaving your stomach in a pile, behind you. THAT'S how important it is to process!!!


Some of it could be the longing, "for what could/should have been", or the emptiness when you realize how little you really meant to someone. The list is endless, really - as are those feelings. Even an unfulfilled promise someone made to you - Grief is infinite.


It also has NO time limit to process - years later, you could be driving you car, and pass something that triggers a memory - all those feelings come rushing back. You may be able to avoid it, temporarily; but it will keep coming up, until you deal with it.


I'm not saying you have to LIVE in your Grief - I did that for a very loooooong time - believe me, not the most effective. But, ignoring it will NOT make it go away.


I encourage you to stay as current as possible with your feelings - then you're more prepared when those "undealt-with" feelings come rushing back. You are less likely to get swept away by that "current"...


Does this bring to mind any situations in YOUR life?


We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com. Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow

PREVIOUS POSTS

By Connie J... December 1, 2025
Has anyone ever told you that? I have heard it, often, throughout my life; and I struggled with making/keeping myself small, for waaaaaaay too many years. The irony is, I have NEVER been "ignored", well, despite all that effort to keep myself small. I believe, now, that was why I struggled, so; because, honestly, I am really easy to make happy. But, growing up, "things" were given a higher value, than what REALLY matters. All I ask is don't lie to me, and always be real - but lies and deceit nearly caused the end of me. While at every stage in my life, I have always had "My Person" (and still have ALL of them forever in my heart); traveling in groups was almost a "right of passage", it seemed; so I tried it. I never really thrived in that environment, though. My Tribe is small, and am often by myself - but that's ok. Much easier to keep it real. Bottom-line - I am Enough, and NOT TOO MUCH!!! To quote Elyse Myers - "Go find less!"
By Connie J... November 24, 2025
...how exciting the Holidays were, as a child. As I have aged; their "magic" has kind of faded. My Grandma's Birthday was November 23, so Thanksgiving was always a celebration. Between her passing years ago, and many years in retail - some years it's hard to hold onto "the Happy"; but, I do, by choice. I remember how it felt - and sometimes a plethora of good and bad feelings come rushing back. I can't really stop the memories, nor do I want to - for they ALL are a part of what makes me who I am, today. Now, NO desire to go back and relive them - but, I sort through them; and place them where they belong.  What do YOU remember during the Holidays? We would LOVE to hear YOUR feedback and insight. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #identity
By Connie J... November 17, 2025
In thinking about the upcoming Holiday Season - I was pondering some viable "What If's": - you decide to get with friends, instead? - you go, but on your terms - AND if you feel things "going South", you address them, right there and then - AND you give yourself permission to just leave, if you feel not heard? - you spend the day at the movies, and have pizza and popcorn, instead of traditional food? - you stay home in comfy clothes and binge on your fam favorite TV shows and movies; play games - whatever YOU decide?  - you do something many would consider "off the wall", but makes you happy - JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN??! We would LOVE to hear YOUR feedback and insight. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #identity
By Connie J... November 10, 2025
I spent MANY years thinking I knew myself - then I finally had to stop running, and FACE MYSELF!!! I had NO idea what I really even liked, internally OR externally. It has taken me many years to be comfortable with who I am, and to know what I like - even though that can change daily, as I evolve. Even my beliefs have shifted - NOT my belief in God, just finally figured out how I NEED to be, regarding MY relationship with Him. I wasted so many years, and suffered so, by trying to live other people's expectations of what MY life should be. Now, though shockingly, still imperfect (lol) - I know myself. I'm still learning what I like in my life, daily; but much of what I don't like, has been ejected from my Personal Space. I treasure my time with myself; and keeping my peace, has become paramount to my existence. I have found, and lost many along the way - but my journey is NOT theirs; and I evaluate each relationship as a life-lesson.  Again, I ask, "Do you know YOU??!" We would LOVE to hear YOUR feedback and insight. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #identity
By Connie J... November 3, 2025
...as opposed to living a full life? This is determined by the individual. I don't want to just fill my time, here on earth - I want my life to have meaning, to know at the end if the day that I have done my best; and lived it to the fullest. Again, determined by each person. Just stay honest, and current with your feelings. This will help keep depression away - especially, with the Holiday Season approaching earlier and earlier, every year.  What do YOU do to live your life, daily? We would LOVE to hear YOUR feedback and insight. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #identity
By Connie J... October 27, 2025
In recent years, much of the world's focus has been on how people are identifying themselves. I'm not going to get into pronouns, etc; but every person on earth "Identifies" as something - whether they realize it, or not!!! For over half of my life, I "identified" as a Victim of Sexual Abuse; then as a Victim of Domestic Violence. In this second half of my life, thus-far, I have CHOSEN to identify as a Survivor of both of those, and a grateful person; while also, a writer. None of this has just happened, either. There has been a good bit of struggle - self-loathing, hatred for many people around me, feeling God had abandoned me, etc. Not an easy path. Choices had to be made - sometimes, by the second!!! But, my first choice in the direction of positive, from negative (though still surrounded by that negative), was my FIRST step towards my healing proces; and this process is on-going. I will re-establish my identity - which morphs into my character - every day, for the rest of my life. Can you relate? We would LOVE to hear YOUR feedback and insight. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #identity
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