The Grief of Abuse...

 By: Connie J..., September 22, 2025

One of the things many people skip over, when they discuss working through their abuse, is the overwhelming sense of Grief you're left holding.


It can be for any number of reasons - but the feelings you have are just as real, and important, as the abuse itself.


If you don't process that Grief, right alongside it, if possible - it's kind of like walking forward, while leaving your stomach in a pile, behind you. THAT'S how important it is to process!!!


Some of it could be the longing, "for what could/should have been", or the emptiness when you realize how little you really meant to someone. The list is endless, really - as are those feelings. Even an unfulfilled promise someone made to you - Grief is infinite.


It also has NO time limit to process - years later, you could be driving you car, and pass something that triggers a memory - all those feelings come rushing back. You may be able to avoid it, temporarily; but it will keep coming up, until you deal with it.


I'm not saying you have to LIVE in your Grief - I did that for a very loooooong time - believe me, not the most effective. But, ignoring it will NOT make it go away.


I encourage you to stay as current as possible with your feelings - then you're more prepared when those "undealt-with" feelings come rushing back. You are less likely to get swept away by that "current"...


Does this bring to mind any situations in YOUR life?


We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com. Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow

PREVIOUS POSTS

By Connie J... September 15, 2025
Recently, I had a friend text me in a situation, where she needed support. I was in a meeting, and told her I could contact her after the meeting. She got ahold of another "Support Person", she has in her life; and they talked her "off the ledge", so to speak (she was NOT suicidal, btw). I talked to her 2 days, later; and I felt myself feeling a little "salty" over the fact I wasn't able to help her in that moment. I told her, "That's a moment you tell me it's a 911-type situation". THREE DAYS later, I was able to reconcile the FACT that I got my "feel bads" hurt, because she had someone else that was able to help her in that moment - and it wasn't me!!! HELLO??! I'm sitting here, now, feeling so grateful that she has such a good support system; and embarrassed that my ego was all up in that mess in my head!!!
By Connie J... September 8, 2025
...now has power, at least for me. As a child, and over half of my adult life, my no was basically useless; especially when I REALLY needed it. I had this epiphany, recently, while watching Wicked, for the gagillionth time...lol. Glinda says it numerous times - to the monkeys, the Emerald Guard, etc, because she REALLY believes she can stop them with her "No!". Realistically, not effective - on them. But, it's what's INSIDE her, that makes ALL the difference - even if it doesn't work on others, it EMPOWERS HER!!!  As adults, even though we have NO control over what others do - we can choose how we are going to react, etc; exactly what we are willing to tolerate in our lives. WE DO get to say, "No!", sometimes - remember this!!! Incorporate it into your daily interactions - both with others, AND that self-talk!!! Does this ring true, to you? Are you ready to take back, and be EMPOWERED by YOUR "No!!!"??! We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
By Connie J... August 25, 2025
I used to just sit and think - not the productive kind, but frenzied!!! My brain would just "sit and spin", if you will. This is NOT a productive thought process - talk about high anxiety!!!
By Connie J... August 11, 2025
As I sit here and drink my coffee, every morning, I contemplate my plans for the day. My planner is usually open, and iykyk, I have alarms set for EVERYTHING!!! lol I delete alarms, as I accomplish my goals; and check off my planner, periodically. This helps me keep my "structure", which as you may know, kind of exploded on me the end of April, and beyond. I FINALLY, after struggling to regain it, decided to just start over - though freeing; a bit of an uphill battle.  Things are moving forward, and am feeling less stressed. NOW, to get my BP to please my new Dr.
By Connie J... August 4, 2025
I grew up keeping "Family Secrets" I didn't even know existed!!! Sometimes, when around people that knew my family wasn't QUITE a "Norman Rockwell" family; I always felt like the butt of some joke. As I got older, my brain, often unbeknownst to my conscious thought, started putting things together; and eventually after asking several trusted people - confirmed them to be true. So, when these secrets were confirmed, I started talking - not really to intentionally hurt anyone; but because it confirmed to ME that I wasn't nuts!!! Secrets are VERRRRRRY powerful, AND stressful!!! One of the many caveats to keeping secrets, is that often, it's NOT your secret to tell. I mean, if you were abused in any way - shout that from the rooftops, baby!!! If they didn't want people to know their true selves, they should have made better choices. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of!!! But, if you're entrusted with someone else's family secrets, that's, as I always say, "NOT my charter." Meaning, that sharing their secret is not your job to do. It's their choice - but, IT CAN STILL BE STRESSFUL for you!!! This is where you seize YOUR power back, from that secret. Put it into proper perspective, to avoid it stressing you out. If possible, talk to the person whose secret/s you're keeping, and explain how it makes you feel. That's where the power/stress of that secret comes from - when your choice is removed. Now, if a conversation simply isn't possible, you yourself, have the power to remove that stress. It's not easy - but if you choose to do something, and stick to it - NOBODY can stop you!!! Amiright??! We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
By Connie J... July 28, 2025
When you hear this phrase, does your mind automatically think of financial? Well, did you know it can refer to your mental capacity or abilities, on any given day??! For example, at your job - are you able to give 100% ALL DAY, EVERY DAY??! Honestly, cannot think of anyone, except machines, that can do that; and I've seen many break down, over the years. Some days, you have less to give - but you give 100% of whatever you've got. Technically, you gave 100%, amiright??!  That is how I assess myself, every day. If I get into my mind, "Man, I am such a loser, because I just don't have it, today"; THAT is when "myself and I" have a little internal dialog, ASAP!!! Life happens, but it's WHAT YOU DO NEXT, that makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE!!! Can I stop that little voice from telling me that? Nope. Eventually, it does lose it's power - when you realize it's happening, and nip it in the bud. It's a process, but a possibility. You just have to do the work. Remember, in life, very little of what is handed to you has the most value or meaning - it's what you work for, that usually has the greatest value to you. Can you, right now, think of any examples of what I'm talking about? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
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