When Things Don't Quite Go to Plan...
By: Connie J..., June 9, 2025
How do you handle this type of situation? Do you just roll with it; or do you lose your mind - trying to fix it and make it work, anyway?
These are both valid choices; but, look at the bottom-line. What is the most important thing? Is there a way for you to prioritize what needs to happen, without losing your mind, in the process?
Granted, there WILL be things you CANNOT change - BUT what CAN you do? Take a moment, or seven, and think about your options. THIS is where YOUR change will happen.
If there is nothing you can do to change anything, or if it was caused by something you did - take responsibility for it, and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Dwelling on/in it - won't change a thing. Learn, and go on.
I know people, myself included (in the past), that are still dwelling on/trying to "fix" something from decades ago!!! Just stop!!! Your racing brain will very rarely solve ANYTHING current, let alone something from the past!!!
Does any of this sound remotely familiar??!
We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com. Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
PREVIOUS POSTS
...every single day of your life - beginning when you wake up. Are you a snooze button fiend; or do you get up as soon as (or even before) that alarm goes off??! Do you do a healthy breakfast, or just glug down some coffee, and a muffin? These are all choices that we make, usually, without much thought. There are, also, major choices we make EVERY day. Such as: - are we going to choose kindness? - are we going to let "little" things bug us? - how are we going to speak to OURSELVES??! - are we going to let someone else's bad mood/choices ruin OUR day? You see, it's NOT what happens to you, that has the biggest affect on you - it's what YOU choose to do, NEXT. I believe this is where much of the disconnect from ourselves happens. We either forget, or many don't even realize the plethora of choices we have, no matter how big or small our situation may be. I've used the rudder on a ship, as an example, before. That LITTLE apparatus makes ALL the difference on the ship's trajectory. History has demonstrated how an over/undercorrection can change so much. The bottom-line I want you to take from all this, is this - YOU HAVE CHOICES. MAKE THEM. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
...THREE new cell phones!!! 😬 😬 😬 Talk about juggling!!! 🙄 🙄 🙄 I am NOT that tech savvy!!! Me trying to make my way through all of the pitfalls that come up, has STRESSED. ME. OUT!!! Metaphorically, it demonstrates, to me, how MANY Victims of an abusive relationship live their entire lives. There is no respite - no chance to rest and relax. Just moving from crisis, to crisis, etc. Then, when you think you have something figured out, and can, maybe, start moving forward; one of those bowling balls you've been juggling kind of lands on your head!!! It's unsettling, and keeps you off-balance - which is part of the perpetrator's method of operation. It's hard to reach out and seek help, if your hands are always full!!! So keeping you busy is a priority!!! This is ONE reason, that self-care is so important. It gives you a breather, even if only for a few minutes. Helps you clear your head; and maybe come up with your next life-move. Do you feel like some of this was taken from your true-life story??! I encourage you to investigate inside yourself, even further. Find a few minutes, every day, to look at things, realistically; and see what changes you need to, and are able to make. Subtle changes - like the rudder on a ship that can, amazingly, turn that ship in the direction it needs to go. Have you SEEN how small that rudder is, compared to the size of the ship - miniscule!!! We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
Do you know that if you get into that kind of "backpedaling" conversation, it could go on for hours, or days, or even decades??! I was inspired to write this particular post, by a recent conversation with a Friend. He and I were discussing a previous conversation that sort of came to an impasse, when he responded with, "Well, yeah, but..."; and proceeded to continue arguing his point. I looked at him, and said, "Well - we could 'well, yeah, but' until two weeks from next Thursday; and I don't believe either one of us would change the other person's response/feelings/etc." He went on to work, and we met up about an hour later. In that time, I had been thinking over our conversation - the bottom-line, was that neither one of us was "wrong"; but his feelings had gotten hurt. I had stood firm on what I had said; buuuuuut - recalled something I had read, recently, about taking responsibility for hurting someone, even when you aren't wrong. The metaphor goes something like this: - you have a glass you really like - someone comes in, and accidentally bumps it off the counter, and it shatters - you are hurt inside your heart - that glass was a special gift from someone you love very much - they try to "explain away" your hurt, by saying, over and over, I didn't mean to break your glass - BUT, that really doesn't make you feel ANY better, does it??! (Their reaction to your reaction can really mess up relationships, eh??!) - they, then, say just these 4 simple words, "I broke the glass" - taking accountability for the situation; thereby, acknowledging your feelings - it doesn't change a thing, that glass ain't coming back; but the feelings can now begin to heal He and I have now set up that "code" for conversations, where he feels I should apologize for something I said - but, I'm wondering why I should apologize, when I don't believe I did anything wrong - impasse. Honestly, it's usually me that opens my mouth more often, than not... 😉 😉 😉 Sound familiar? I believe EVERYONE has those conversations, that reach an impasse - there is still a way to complete them, without ANYONE feeling steamrolled. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
I am a people pleasing, "helpful at my own expense" kinda person - well, at least I used to be. One of my favorite metaphors to share with people, is, "You cannot pour from an empty cup." I have FINALLY learned that my own self-care is CRUCIAL TO my abilities to help ANYONE else. If I'm not adding self-care into my (at the VERY least, one-to-two-times-a-week) daily routine, my helpfulness is limited. The focus is usually sooooo much on anyone and everyone else's needs; that the helper neglects themselves - adding a whole new set of internal, sometimes external, issues to the mix. I, personally, believe this is where many people get off track; thereby, perpetuating the cycle of Domestic Violence, generationally. Been there - breaking that curse!!! Are you codependent? Does any of this sound familiar? It is NEVER too late!!! I encourage you to do a little self-assessment and self-reflection, periodically. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
Do you know what your passion is? That motivation that gets you right in the feels??! It stokes that fire in your belly, and drives you? Though I am unable to commit as much time as I would like, writing IS my passion. Sharing the wisdom I have acquired over my nearly 33 years in my "Healing Process"; AND my nearly 64 years, on the planet. When I am writing, and my thoughts come together - bam, I feel so complete in that moment. Like this is what I was born to do. Then, I have moments where I struggle to form a sentence - now, does that make writing any less of my passion? I don't think so - it just reminds me how human I am...lol. As with everything in life, your passion moves in waves - keep this in mind. I see the iceberg utilized, a lot, when someone is describing another's thought-process. There is so much more going on, under the surface, than we will probably ever know. For example - I have many titles, or Blog topics, in the Notes, on my phone. Trust me, when I say my brain is ALWAYS going - sometimes, I do struggle to get my posts completed in a timely manner - but I usually do. It's NOT because I haven't been working on anything - it's because my BRAIN is working on EVERYTHING!!! But, I digress...I guess you could say that's maybe a "down side" of having a passion for something? That obsession. But, in life, it is the choices we make, that make ALL the difference. I could let it get me down, that I am not where I want to be, in my "writing career" - I choose to embrace each day as it comes; both good and bad, and move on through it. Every day, YOU have the same opportunities I do - to make the choices to stoke that fire, within. If you're not where you want to be, in life - what changes do you need to make to begin that quest to YOUR passion? These, and others, are some important questions you might want to begin asking yourself. I challenge you... Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou everybodyknowsomebody #besafe ***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?*** *I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .
...for an anxiety episode; while simultaneously keeping one from happening. I work retail with a girl, let's call her "Buffy". Each day, as she arrives, she will ask me, "Has it been busy?" Seems innocent enough, right? However, one day it hit me that she needed to assess the environment, as she came in the door. Just one of those "random epiphanies". "Buffy" is one of my many friends that suffers from anxiety - she even took some time off, a few months ago, to try and get it under control. It got me thinking about times when I feel anxious. Growing up, in a Domestic Violence situation, as I did - I learned EARLY ON, that my awareness of the environment around me, and the need/ability to walk gently on those proverbial eggshells could keep the peace, for at least a little while. The caveat was, you never knew just what was going to set my Father off. Though I would love share "my theory" with "Buffy"; I don't feel compelled to, yet. Usually, that means it's time for ME to learn a new "life-lesson". Some questions I have been asking myself, are: 1 - Do I know my "why" for this particular chain of thoughts? This sort've leads right into... 2 - What DO I have control over, in my life; and is there something I feel is particularly OUT of my control? Honestly, I can think of several situations, right off the top of my head. Well - I see that I have some internal work to do - SURPRISE!!! I HAVE been feeling some anxiety, lately, when I face certain situations; and I guess it's time they were dealt with. This is what living is really about, though, isn't it? Learning "Your Whys", and dealing with them, as they come up. Doesn't this seem SO MUCH BETTER than being controlled by the anxiety if you DON'T deal with it!!! Whew!!! I sure think so!!! If this gave you any "random epiphanies", do you think it's time for YOU to ask YOUR whys??! Maybe be able to thwart some of your anxiety? I would love to hear your insight on my thoughts... Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou everybodyknowsomebody #besafe ***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?*** *I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .
