A Six-Year-Old's Perspective...
By: Connie J..., October 14, 2025
...on Domestic Violence.
Dear Mommy and Daddy, I can't understand
Why you fight when my Daddy comes home
He walks in the door, you ask where he's been
And BOOM - out the door, he's gone, again
It makes me so sad in my little heart
'Cause he's already not home, so much
I need him to stay here - to sit on his lap
And his stubby face to touch
So when he comes home, please don't ask where he's been
'Cause you know how it makes him so mad
And I would really like him to stay home, for awhile
Please, let me spend more time with my Dad??!
Love, Connie...
This was written for an Art Project I made, one year; but, it WAS most of my younger life. I know, now, that it wasn't my Mother's fault - but I blamed her, for so MANY years, because I WAS able to be angry with HER.
It's actually very common for the abusive parent to blame the more passive parent - whether directly, or in more subtle ways.
Incidentally, as I was typing this out, I had flashes of situations in my current life, where I am still affected. When people ask me, "Where were you?", there's still a smidgen of a trigger. My first thought is - I'm a grown woman, it's none of your business; then I remember it CAN BE a legitimate question - not an inquisition.
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Does any of this ring a bell, with you?
We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com. Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow
PREVIOUS POSTS
A few months ago, I began using "My Daily Life-goal..." on my Facebook page; for a reel or meme that represents my current focus. I've actually been doing it longer than that; but it's been more intentional, instead of just "doom-scrolling" my time away. Last week, I posted this to my page: "I'm NOT perfect. Some days, I'm a real mess!!! But...EVERY day, my goal is to be better than the day before. I'm learning new things every day. Growing. That is why I share my "Daily Life-goals". Not doing it for anyone else, but ME. But, if it inspires someone else, so be it. Share your wisdom... Thank you, for coming to my TED Talk... " 🥹 🥹 🥹 Though I didn't get major results with it - that's how I choose to use Social Media in a positive way; and do "likes" really matter? As I said, "so be it". I truly believe, if we ALL could do that, every day - follow what we feel we're to do, EVERYTHING would be taken care of in the world!!!
...you least want to do, is often the best thing for you. I have developed quite the procrastination expertise, over the years. Example: n my tween and early teen years, it would, literally, take me hours to do the dishes. My imagination - with the counter becoming my "parallel bars" (I am the same age as Nadia Commaneci); or a spoon becoming my microphone (of course, the radio was on - 70s music ruled) - would take over. I had a good time; but STILL had no desire to just do the dishes. More often, than not - all the time you wasted attempting to avoid, seems silly, when you look back. Now, my daily life-goal, is to "Eat the Frog" - tackle the most difficult task, early in the day. Still not 100%; but over the last few years, I have discovered I am a morning person - so that is my most focused time, overall. Commitment to doing "The Thing" REALLY IS the best choice. Remember, it can be a catalyst to getting even more done. What are some things you may be struggling with - your "frog"? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #gratitude #eatthefrog #dothething
...for not knowing better, then. Move forward, with the understanding you have, NOW. I was stuck in this perpetual loop for DECADES; paralyzed, and unable to move forward with my healing, until one day this "clicked". I had already survived the abuse - and I kept re-abusing myself, with EVERY loop. It was like I couldn't get my "healing engine" to keep running. Then, as I said, something just clicked in me. I still had to travel the path - am actually not far from it, on any given day; but each time I need a "jumpstart", I am not back at the beginning. I can start from right where I am. I just have to remind myself, that I DO know better now - and the power it has over me dissipates, as I forgive myself, once again. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #forgiveness #isforyou
...with a person who NEVER "gets" you - has you explaining your motives for nearly everything you say, or do - irregardless of your relationship. Sounds like a sustainable relationship, right??! NOT!!! Are they willing to do the same for you? If you question their motivations for ANYTHING, do they tend to get salty? Wondering why you're questioning them? Are you losing YOUR OWN thoughts and feelings, while pursuing their approval and acceptance? I understand relationships take time to build and grow - but if you do an assessment, today - are you BOTH putting your best into growing your relationship? I get it - life happens, and not everyone can do 100% EVERY day; but if you only have 60%, are they able to help with that other 40% THAT day, to at least try? Then, on their low days, are you able to reciprocate? Relationship balance is rarely 50/50; but are you working as a team? Each of you utilizing your skills, and attempting to grow your relationship on a daily basis? That's the rub. What ways can you begin to work together on this assessment, and decisions, if necessary? What If you cannot? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #sustainable
...is NOT your fault. I will say it, again - how people treat you is NOT. Your. Fault. Period. I think this is a good place for me to stop writing. We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter
...for us to move forward, in life, is to release the "small things" that continue to hold us hostage, where we are. One is grudges - while seemingly huge, are actually a small thing. Believe me - I was raised by a "grudge holding master"!!! Some of my family still holds them; and the "master" has been gone since 2012!!! I have made choices in my life to, first, release grudges that weren't mine to hold; then, to move onto my own - and release them. All a part of the process of personal growth. Periodically, something random will pop up, and I have to take a look at it - and place it where it belongs - usually, in the past, to remove the power it's attempting to take from my present. In this life, I need to be full power, ya know??! What are some of the "small things" holding back YOUR personal growth? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter
