Is Your Family Like a Norman Rockwell Portrait...

 By: Connie J..., October 21, 2024

...or are you REALLY living ON the back of the picture??!


I HONESTLY, thought, growing up and into my 30s - in spite of ALL that I knew about my family's dysfunctional state - that I grew up in a "Norman Rockwell family portrait".


As I progressed into my "Healing Process", and started to see things realistically, I was amazed to learn that it wasn't.


My life was more like the back of the photo - blank, plain, dull and drab. No splashes of color. Nothing - even the frame was icky.

...or are you REALLY living ON the back of the picture??!


I HONESTLY, thought, growing up and into my 30s - in spite of ALL that I knew about my family's dysfunctional state - that I grew up in a "Norman Rockwell family portrait".


As I progressed into my "Healing Process", and started to see things realistically, I was amazed to learn that it wasn't.


My life was more like the back of the photo - blank, plain, dull and drab. No splashes of color. Nothing - even the frame was icky.

But, if anyone from "the outside" asked, my life was perfect. "Well, yes, 'X' may have happened, when I was younger; but isn't that normal in ALL families?" Or, "Yes, my Father MAY have done 'Y'; but his Mother died when he was 14, so it's not really his fault, right??!"


Even as far as having a conversation with a co-worker about the fact that I was purposely cutting myself - "but it's no big deal, it just makes me feel better." I thought I was perfectly ok - on the outside.



Inside, I knew things weren't ok; but I was told so much, that, "What happens in our house, stays in our house." Ok??!

Yeah, about that - until September 19, 1992; when I learned a MAJOR family truth (that I had honestly figured out, myself, YEARS before this). I was basically numb, for about a week - then, on September 26, 1992 - I got "ALL THE FEELS", at once!!! This "episode" ended with me spending the mandatory 72 hours of observation. I didn't know exactly what I needed - but learned, quickly, that this place was NOT IT!!!


I floundered a bit, seeing a counselor the hospital had set up for me; saw her for a YEAR.


However, in the meantime - December, 1992, I met my current Counselor. I was fascinated by this woman. I really felt like she saw clear into me - and could see all my bad, but did NOT turn away.


She saw "my portrait" (the real one) and extended her hand to me, and we are even more "connected", than ever, today. She has helped guide me on this "process", for over half my life; and she and her husband are part of my "New and Improved Family Portrait" - a real, healthy picture in which you can see my beautiful scars, and all the damage that was done - and it can be used to let you know you're OK; we're all damaged, but beautiful, just the same.




How's YOUR portrait looking? Is it realistic? Or, are you drab and dull - like on the back? Are you ready to start making changes?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #besafe #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself


***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?***


*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

PREVIOUS POSTS

Domestic Violence
By Connie J... July 13, 2026
...tell OUR story - someone else will; AND THEY WILL (almost always) GET IT WRONG!!! If you have a Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse/Assault or ANY kind of story - do you understand you have a RIGHT to share with ANY person YOU deem "safe". Abusers, of all types, continue, because they make their victims feel ashamed; and don't want people to know what kind of people they really are. Well - THAT REALLY isn't YOUR fault/problem, is it? If they don't want people to think badly of them - they shouldn't do things to create that possibility!!! We ALL can learn to make "good choices" in life - amiright??!
By Connie J... July 6, 2026
I recently listened to a Mel Robbins Podcast, featuring Dr Marc Brackett - he was discussing how to self-regulate your emotions.  The biggest takeaway, for me, was learning to "observe" the world around you - what people say/don't say, etc; as opposed to "absorbing" it all - basically, just be a sponge for the productive things in your life; and let the unproductive "noise", etc, just float away as the water (emotion) rushes over you. I used to have a "hair-trigger", when it came to responding to things, because I felt I had to defend every little iota of information (right or wrong), in any given interaction. This was part of my pendulum swing from not saying ANYTHING to cause waves. Now, I have been making the choice to keep my mouth shut - if they're right or wrong. My superpower really isn't being the great defender of everything!!! I am being more selective of the the "battles" I engage in. Hmmmmm...making my own choices...what a NOVEL idea!!!
By Connie J... June 22, 2026
Is it real - or just your imagination playing tricks on you??! I have come to realize, in MANY of life's situations, that the one putting the MOST pressure on me, IS ME!!! Though, when questioned, my response is usually, "Well, THEY said...", etc. However, realistically - who IS "THEY"??! Often, it's the old tapes replaying in my head, from situations gone bad in the past - and NOT wanting to feel that sting, again. While we ARE supposed to learn from the past, we are ALSO supposed to grow from it. Not "pinball" our way through life - bouncing from trigger to trigger - changing directions, every time. In the consistent choices we make, each time we bounce off that trigger, we are able to choose where we want to go - IT IS A LEARNED RESPONSE, and it takes time - but if you never start, you'll never learn. The ONLY way to remove the pressures you feel, is the choices you make when they arise. Take it from a "Recovering Pressure Cooker"... We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #pressure
By Connie J... June 15, 2026
"Isn't it funny how often I point fingers, before reflecting on my own behavior?" (Sam Demma) This quote made me think of my Father - because this was beyond his realm of thought. He could blame ANY problem he had in his life, on ANYONE but himself. Every Father's Day. I always feel "some-kinda-way" because of the type of relationship I had with him, or didn't. With the choices I have made in the second half of my life - based on Honesty, Integrity, Responsibility, Commitment, Truth and Accountability - my life has been different. (I'm far from claiming perfection, here.) That's something he DID teach me - what NOT to do; and ANY time I get too focused on choices other people are making, I get a snap back into reality - keep in your own lane. That is all you can, and should WANT to control. Can you relate to this? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #whatif #possibilities
By Connie J... June 8, 2026
I have heard this one word - "forgiveness" - on opposite sides of so many conversations, and arguments. When you've been abused, in any way, and you hear it - the knee-jerk reaction is, "NO!!!" But, the reality of this word - it's not for the abuser, per se; it's to release YOUR heart and mind from carrying that weight of unforgivenness. Twisted up in that maze of of unforgiveness, is usually anger - not only at your abuser; but anger coupled with shame, at yourself. There are usually some, "I should've, I shouldn't have, how did I let myself"s all mangled up in that maze. Forgiveness helps you untwist each strand, and place the blame squarely where it belongs - on the abuser, not you. Compare to a knot in your shoelace, the yarn you knit or crochet with, etc - sometimes, you can get it untangled by yourself; other times, you need to ask for help. It's all a part of the process - to help YOU grow, and move on from that part of your story. Is it time for you to give Forgiveness some serious thought in your life? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter building #learning #keepgrowing #whatisnext #forgiveness
By Connie J... June 1, 2026
When you fixate on ANYTHING, like fear, gratitude, or anything in between; it can take over your entire brain function. Believe me - I am a "fixater" from waaaaaay back - like a dog with a bone! Choose wisely what you let your brain entertain.There is truly NO limit to what your fixation can keep you from - whaaaaaaa??! Basically, it keeps you from any kind of forward motion; and REALLY messes with keeping up with responsibilities and commitments, because it forms a type of mental paralysis. As with ANYTHING, a healthy balance works to keep you moving forward. Remember, it isn't always "negative stuff", either. What fixation has been holding YOU back??! We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter #fixation
Show More