When I began my healing process, I journalled, a LOT!!! I come across an old one, periodically, and skim through it - just to see how far I've come; then have begun to shred them. I mean, some of it was over 30 years ago!!! Looking back can be a good thing, but why keep it around? I figure some day, I won't be here - do I want someone perusing my funky thoughts from back then? Some of them were pretty scary; but all part of MY process to get where I am, TODAY. So I'm not really ashamed; but why put someone else through that?

...how much Domestic Violence has become more covert in my Community, since the Derailment? It's always been there - It's EVERYWHERE!!!

I read somewhere that when you don't feel wanted, we make ourselves feel needed; and realize now, that is what I've been doing my whole life." (taken from a Facebook meme created by tinybuddha) I spent over 3/4 of my life being "pathetically lovable", and "needy". The only way I thought you could get ANY attention from anyone, was to be needy. Whelp, that's not it, at all!!!

When you first meet me, I may come across as random, quirky, and CAN be downright annoying. But, if you stick it out, I am one of the "deepest pools" you may ever meet. This used to really bother me; it now only bothers me when I am really trying to connect with someone, and they just don't "get me". Which isn't all the time, thank God!!! Sometimes, it just "clicks".

One of my "gifts" has always been listening - more often, than not, to what is NOT being said. I was reminded, recently, that not everyone has that gift. A friend was in kind of a scary situation, as one might be in Domestic Violence situation. She had asked numerous people to assist her (people that were assigned to "have her back"), and they dropped the ball. It wasn't really safe for her to express the specific help she needed - it could have escalated quickly; thank God it didn't - but, she alluded to it, as best she could, and she was left hanging.

How often do you say, "Sorry" , when you express your feelings to someone you're close to; or even work with? If it's almost all the time, maybe it's time to "reboot" your "sorry meter". I think I've used the word, "Sorry", so much in my life, I feel like it sometimes loses it's credibility. I literally walked into a chair in my friend's dining room, once, and said it!!! THAT'S a problem!!! I have recently decided to really reign in my apologies. Not that I am turning cold-hearted; just that I really am NOT responsible for everything bad in the world, or for everyone's choices - amiright??!

Was recently hanging out with a friend, and her significant other. She didn't know what something was, that HE had lost. He was trying to get me to side with him on how dumb she was for not knowing what it was. Did I mention HE HAD LOST IT??! He made a snide comment, and added, " Women! " I looked at him, and said, " You're a little outnumbered to be trying that, here. "

Part of My "Patchwork Quilt of Life"

Questions...