ozer-ministry

"Reframing"...

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 13:17:13 GMT

...your thought processes can give you a WHOLE NEW perspective on life.

One example, "Why does everything bad happen to me??!"; maybe change to, "Is there some life-lesson I am supposed to be learning from all of these things that seem to keep happening to me?"

Another reframe could be, "Are things happening to me because of choices I keep making, over and over?"

Basically, reframing is asking yourself questions in a more productive way. It breaks that negative thought-loop, and makes a path to move forward out of that stuck feeling.

The goal is NOT to ignore your feelings; or just wish they would go away. Your feelings are ALWAYS valid - but sometimes it's the shade of light in which you see them. Reframing can change that "tone/color pallet".

What do YOU think? Can you see just one thought process in your life, that could use a little "reframing"?

We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter

My "Daily Life-goal"...

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 13:12:24 GMT

A few months ago, I began using "My Daily Life-goal..." on my Facebook page; for a reel or meme that represents my current focus.

I've actually been doing it longer than that; but it's been more intentional, instead of just "doom-scrolling" my time away.

Last week, I posted this to my page:

"I'm NOT perfect. Some days, I'm a real mess!!!

But...EVERY day, my goal is to be better than the day before.

I'm learning new things every day. Growing.

That is why I share my "Daily Life-goals".

Not doing it for anyone else, but ME.

But, if it inspires someone else, so be it.

Share your wisdom...

Thank you, for coming to my TED Talk... "

��

Though I didn't get major results with it - that's how I choose to use Social Media in a positive way; and do "likes" really matter? As I said, "so be it".

I truly believe, if we ALL could do that, every day - follow what we feel we're to do, EVERYTHING would be taken care of in the world!!!

Doing "The Thing"...

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 13:37:21 GMT

...you least want to do, is often the best thing for you.

I have developed quite the procrastination expertise, over the years. Example: n my tween and early teen years, it would, literally, take me hours to do the dishes. My imagination - with the counter becoming my "parallel bars" (I am the same age as Nadia Commaneci); or a spoon becoming my microphone (of course, the radio was on - 70s music ruled) - would take over. I had a good time; but STILL had no desire to just do the dishes.

More often, than not - all the time you wasted attempting to avoid, seems silly, when you look back.

Now, my daily life-goal, is to "Eat the Frog" - tackle the most difficult task, early in the day. Still not 100%; but over the last few years, I have discovered I am a morning person - so that is my most focused time, overall.

Commitment to doing "The Thing" REALLY IS the best choice. Remember, it can be a catalyst to getting even more done.

What are some things you may be struggling with - your "frog"?

Forgive Yourself...

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 12:50:29 GMT

...for not knowing better, then.

Move forward, with the understanding you have, NOW.

I was stuck in this perpetual loop for DECADES; paralyzed, and unable to move forward with my healing, until one day this "clicked".

I had already survived the abuse - and I kept re-abusing myself, with EVERY loop. It was like I couldn't get my "healing engine" to keep running.

Then, as I said, something just clicked in me. I still had to travel the path - am actually not far from it, on any given day; but each time I need a "jumpstart", I am not back at the beginning. I can start from right where I am.

I just have to remind myself, that I DO know better now - and the power it has over me dissipates, as I forgive myself, once again.

Staying Engaged...

Mon, 09 Mar 2026 17:45:24 GMT

...with a person who NEVER "gets" you - has you explaining your motives for nearly everything you say, or do - irregardless of your relationship.

Sounds like a sustainable relationship, right??! NOT!!!

Are they willing to do the same for you? If you question their motivations for ANYTHING, do they tend to get salty?

Wondering why you're questioning them?

Are you losing YOUR OWN thoughts and feelings, while pursuing their approval and acceptance?

I understand relationships take time to build and grow - but if you do an assessment, today - are you BOTH putting your best into growing your relationship?

I get it - life happens, and not everyone can do 100% EVERY day; but if you only have 60%, are they able to help with that other 40% THAT day, to at least try? Then, on their low days, are you able to reciprocate?

Relationship balance is rarely 50/50; but are you working as a team? Each of you utilizing your skills, and attempting to grow your relationship on a daily basis? That's the rub.

What ways can you begin to work together on this assessment, and decisions, if necessary?

What If you cannot?

How People Treat You...

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 15:04:58 GMT

...is NOT your fault.

I will say it, again - how people treat you is NOT. Your. Fault.

Period.

I think this is a good place for me to stop writing.

The ONLY Way...

Mon, 23 Feb 2026 17:24:00 GMT

...for us to move forward, in life, is to release the "small things" that continue to hold us hostage, where we are.

One is grudges - while seemingly huge, are actually a small thing. Believe me - I was raised by a "grudge holding master"!!!

Some of my family still holds them; and the "master" has been gone since 2012!!!

I have made choices in my life to, first, release grudges that weren't mine to hold; then, to move onto my own - and release them. All a part of the process of personal growth.

Periodically, something random will pop up, and I have to take a look at it - and place it where it belongs - usually, in the past, to remove the power it's attempting to take from my present. In this life, I need to be full power, ya know??!

What are some of the "small things" holding back YOUR personal growth? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter

Reclaiming MY Silence...

Mon, 16 Feb 2026 17:23:55 GMT

As a child, I WAS SILENCED about SOOOOO many things:
- family secrets
- my own Sexual Abuse
- how I felt about MOST things
etc...

Now, as an adult, finally having a voice, I am in the process of learning that it's okay to be silent; that there are MANY times I have NO reason to share my unsolicited opinion. One example - I don't have to insert my opinion on anyone else's life choices.

I, personally, believe we all stand alone at the end of our life; my opinion about ANYONE else will not mean a thing, in that moment; so why waste my precious time on earth? Though I may disagree, for whatever reason - I may be given an opportunity to share it - if I'm not, my job is to reconcile it within myself.

Our job on earth is to love and be supportive of others.

Sometimes, choices must be made, however. We are not required to partake in anything we don't support. The old "love them, but not what they do".

Does this remind you of any current, or past situations in your life? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #choicesmatter

Finding That "One Thing"…

Mon, 09 Feb 2026 16:02:45 GMT

...every day, to be grateful for.

I used to think that trying to be happy, when I was so miserable, was being fake. After my epiphany that I had faked it, for so many years, before starting my healing journey, my brain just couldn't comprehend it!!!

"Fake it til you make it", was SUCH a cliche; but there IS an element of truth in it.

However, if you never start attempting to be positive or happy; it will not just magically appear.

Healing takes work - and you're not faking happiness - it is a goal you are striving to reach. THAT is the difference.

The beginning step is that gratitude - find ONE thing, no matter how small, EVERY day - I promise you, your life will begin to change. Some days, there will be big gratitude - start with a spark...

The Uphill Battle...WHY Do We Fight??!

Mon, 02 Feb 2026 16:02:42 GMT

Domestic Violence, Violence Against Women, etc, has been around pretty much since time began. Does that make it right??! Does it mean we don't fight??!

Not from where I'm sitting. We are in the world to do what we can, while we're here.

Unfortunately, injustice is the "counterbalance" we need to be able to appreciate justice. Just as we have hate, to feel love, even greater.

While I'm pretty sure the initial plan was for love, and only positive - the reality of life isn't that way, so we persevere.

This world is a crazy place; but knowing we're not fighting, alone, really helps.

The Battle still rages on...will you join us, and raise your battle cry??!

Are You Alone, REALLY??!

Sun, 25 Jan 2026 04:38:11 GMT

Do you ever feel like you are the ONLY person stuck in the type of situation you're in? I used to - years ago, when I WAS stuck!!!

It took me MANY years to realize, the ONLY person able to get me UNstuck was ME!!!

Yet, try as I may - doing it alone was a losing battle!!! What??! Didn't I just say the ONLY person who could get me unstuck was me??!

Yes, I did - by asking for help, to help guide me to get unstuck. Billions of people being on the Earth is NOT a mistake. I believe God created man so even HE wouldn't be alone; so who are we to poo-poo HIS thinking?

Trust me - I enjoy my time, alone; but sometimes, it's just NOT good for me. I still have to do the work. Some days, it's all I can do to get myself out of bed; but I surround myself with people that care about me, and hold me accountable.

When I mess up, I take responsibility for my actions, and move forward. Sometimes, I am NOT the fastest learner - it takes me a couple times to grasp a life-lesson.

I get a lil down, go off and whine for a minute and lick my wounds - then I come back with a new resolve.

NO ONE is immune to "life-lessons" - some just take a little longer to really learn. You just have to make the best choices you can, every day. Give yourself a lil grace, and room for error - just don't stay there!!!

Remember, even if you feel there is nobody human "there for you", God is...

Is the Life You're Living Sustainable?

Wed, 21 Jan 2026 15:22:43 GMT

I have shared about my various struggles, over this last year, in particular.

I FINALLY realized, the other day - that the life I was trying to live was NOT sustainable. I had lost all of the focus and discipline I had worked hard to build over MANY years.

I know the decline started in the Spring of 2025, with my "Tale of 3 New Cellphones" within 3 weeks. I lost my life-footing, and kept trying to crawl back and "catch up".

THAT never works - I even had MANY conversations with myself regarding that fact; attempting to start over from where I was. But I just kept getting further and further behind - though I did keep trying, and trying.

I never stopped writing my ideas, but even this Blog suffered. I sincerely apologize - and take full responsibility for my shortcomings.

My Vacation was so needed; and then the Holiday Season hit me with a vengeance. Mostly, I didn't know what I was feeling, I really don't think I was, per se - except more and more behind; and SOOOOO overwhelmed with EVERYTHING!!!

In looking at my Advent Calendar, still on the wall - I, recently, figured out that I finally just shut down, and went through the motions of my life - from December 15, on. I told my Counselor a couple weeks ago, that my Wicked/Wicked:For Good obsession was the only thing that got me through the year. (In looking back, I've written about how the movie Sister Act helped me survive 1992 - all I can say, is, God's Mysterious Ways.)

Well - from this moment on, I will be taking it one moment at a time; and attempting to build, again. I know am not starting from the beginning; but you gotta start somewhere, right??!

Working to keep what I need my life to be - sustainable.

I cannot be the only person that feels this way...

Why??!

Thu, 15 Jan 2026 15:20:42 GMT

If I had a nickel for every time someone asked me why I did something, good or bad, I would be a millionaire.

Sometimes, it was a conscious, thought-out choice; other times, it's because I had a period of a type of mental paralyzation - caused by feeling overwhelmed.

Though it has improved; it still happens, and it can take awhile for me to really catch ahold of it and name it.

I looked back on my Advent Calendar, from this previous December. The last date I put an ornament up, was December 15. I realized a couple weeks, ago, that was the date I shut down - to get through the Holiday Season in retail.

I knew I had been struggling, throughout the year; but when I noticed that calendar, it was like a flashing red light in my face!!!

I have been trying to evaluate this last year, and my downward trend, for awhile. I was functional, went to work, etc; but all the parts of my engine were not engaging.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner - overwhelmed, it is!!! I noticed I had lost my coping for that Holiday Rush - but I thought it was because I had lost my "Holiday Momentum", the last few years, being out with my surgeries, etc.

Whatever the reason - I have an official date of shutdown. Apparently, I just gave up the fight.

I have been trying to talk it through, with both myself AND my Counselor - not to make excuses; but to get to the root of it. That, is still a work in progress...

Have you had this happen to you? Some people refer to it as "spiraling", etc. Gotta say, honestly, am NOT a fan - but, here we are...

Sometimes, It's Just About...

Mon, 12 Jan 2026 14:51:53 GMT

...the "art". Other times, it's more about the "pretty".

Throughout my life, I have seen some beautiful artwork - even some famous art pieces. Though I appreciated what was in front of me, many of the less famous pieces touched my heart, more.

This theory is applicable to life, also. Sometimes, you barely "make it through your day". Other days, are a joy, from start to finish. I believe it's what touches your heart, throughout the day, that makes ALL the difference.

Sometimes, you must be your own "touchstone" to find your "pretty".

Isn't about time you find; or even begin to make your own "pretty", in your life? Have you ever thought about it? Why waste any more of your precious time? YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!

Deciding Who You...

Fri, 09 Jan 2026 11:19:35 GMT

...no longer want to be, is sometimes easier, than deciding who you WANT to be.

I got this idea from a meme on Facebook, that said, "I have had MANY people in my life teach me who I do NOT want to be".

As Mr Miyagi told Daniel in Karate Kid, during the bonsai lesson - "close eyes, picture what you want your tree to look like. Now open your eyes, and trim away all you don't want your tree to be".

It's a starting point - usually, with a lot less "fuzzy stuff" - your own, or other people's expectations, etc. A different path for your future to take. Anticipation of something new and different.

A motivational fear of the unknown; and it literally can be what you make it, by breaking old patterns.

Have you ever thought about it? Is it time to start it??!

Remember, doing it for yourself is a good thing. That's when change "sticks better".

No is NOT Rejection...

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 10:15:40 GMT

...it is redirection.

I have been listening to inspirational videos on my lunch hour - this came up in one of them, and I found it interesting, and applicable, currently.

Things come up, in life, that we REALLY want, sometimes, don't they. But, then we get what feels like a firm "NO!!!"

Often, later, we see how that path could have gone really bad for us, and we're grateful for that "no". But, at the time, it's frustrating.

How has this happened, and affected YOUR life? Ever thought about it; or are you still holding on to those negative feelings that arose from that perceived rejection?

It took me a LOOOOOONG time to become aware of those kinds of feelings I was retaining; AND being held hostage by them.

Isn't it time to process those feelings, and move forward from them? The mind-opening freedom that comes, is amazing. It enables you to focus on your future; and move on from your past.

Christmas-time, Again...

Thu, 01 Jan 2026 10:12:46 GMT

Christmas - beginning with the Advent Season - celebrated via calendars and candles, was always a connection. Then on to Christmas Eve - with the candlelight service, that always ended with Silent Night.

That trying to get to sleep, though - it came eventually, but usually way before I was ready.

Most of my holidays, per se, always had some type of...friction.

Basically, if the focus wasn't on what my FATHER needed, at that moment; the stress-level automatically got raised for the entire household.

Believe me, the good times were amazing; but as I got older, waiting for that "switch" to be flipped, became inevitable. That "switch" wears on you after awhile, doesn't it? #iykyk.

Do you have happy childhood Holiday memories, or were yours tainted, somehow?

Are You "Too Much"??!

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 14:57:46 GMT

Has anyone ever told you that? I have heard it, often, throughout my life; and I struggled with making/keeping myself small, for waaaaaaay too many years.

The irony is, I have NEVER been "ignored", well, despite all that effort to keep myself small. I believe, now, that was why I struggled, so; because, honestly, I am really easy to make happy.

But, growing up, "things" were given a higher value, than what REALLY matters. All I ask is don't lie to me, and always be real - but lies and deceit nearly caused the end of me.

While at every stage in my life, I have always had "My Person" (and still have ALL of them forever in my heart); traveling in groups was almost a "right of passage", it seemed; so I tried it. I never really thrived in that environment, though. My Tribe is small, and am often by myself - but that's ok. Much easier to keep it real.

Bottom-line - I am Enough, and NOT TOO MUCH!!! To quote Elyse Myers - "Go find less!"

I Remember...

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 15:23:44 GMT

...how exciting the Holidays were, as a child. As I have aged; their "magic" has kind of faded.

My Grandma's Birthday was November 23, so Thanksgiving was always a celebration.

Between her passing years ago, and many years in retail - some years it's hard to hold onto "the Happy"; but, I do, by choice.

I remember how it felt - and sometimes a plethora of good and bad feelings come rushing back. I can't really stop the memories, nor do I want to - for they ALL are a part of what makes me who I am, today. Now, NO desire to go back and relive them - but, I sort through them; and place them where they belong.

What do YOU remember during the Holidays?

We would LOVE to hear YOUR feedback and insight. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow #identity

What If...

Mon, 17 Nov 2025 15:20:59 GMT

In thinking about the upcoming Holiday Season - I was pondering some viable "What If's":

- you decide to get with friends, instead?

- you go, but on your terms - AND if you feel things "going

South", you address them, right there and then - AND you give yourself permission to just leave, if you feel not heard?

- you spend the day at the movies, and have pizza and popcorn, instead of traditional food?

- you stay home in comfy clothes and binge on your fam favorite TV shows and movies; play games - whatever YOU decide?

- you do something many would consider "off the wall", but makes you happy - JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN??!

Do You Know YOU??!

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 14:32:39 GMT

I spent MANY years thinking I knew myself - then I finally had to stop running, and FACE MYSELF!!!

I had NO idea what I really even liked, internally OR externally.

It has taken me many years to be comfortable with who I am, and to know what I like - even though that can change daily, as I evolve.

Even my beliefs have shifted - NOT my belief in God, just finally figured out how I NEED to be, regarding MY relationship with Him.

I wasted so many years, and suffered so, by trying to live other people's expectations of what MY life should be.

Now, though shockingly, still imperfect (lol) - I know myself. I'm still learning what I like in my life, daily; but much of what I don't like, has been ejected from my Personal Space.

I treasure my time with myself; and keeping my peace, has become paramount to my existence.

I have found, and lost many along the way - but my journey is NOT theirs; and I evaluate each relationship as a life-lesson.

Again, I ask, "Do you know YOU??!"

Filling Your Time...

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 14:30:18 GMT

...as opposed to living a full life?

This is determined by the individual.

I don't want to just fill my time, here on earth - I want my life to have meaning, to know at the end if the day that I have done my best; and lived it to the fullest.

Again, determined by each person.

Just stay honest, and current with your feelings. This will help keep depression away - especially, with the Holiday Season approaching earlier and earlier, every year.

What do YOU do to live your life, daily?

What is Your "Identity"?

Mon, 27 Oct 2025 15:00:17 GMT

In recent years, much of the world's focus has been on how people are identifying themselves. I'm not going to get into pronouns, etc; but every person on earth "Identifies" as something - whether they realize it, or not!!!

For over half of my life, I "identified" as a Victim of Sexual Abuse; then as a Victim of Domestic Violence. In this second half of my life, thus-far, I have CHOSEN to identify as a Survivor of both of those, and a grateful person; while also, a writer.

None of this has just happened, either. There has been a good bit of struggle - self-loathing, hatred for many people around me, feeling God had abandoned me, etc.

Not an easy path. Choices had to be made - sometimes, by the second!!! But, my first choice in the direction of positive, from negative (though still surrounded by that negative), was my FIRST step towards my healing proces; and this process is on-going.

I will re-establish my identity - which morphs into my character - every day, for the rest of my life.

Can you relate?

Still Making Choices...

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 13:48:15 GMT

I speak a lot about choices - because growing up, I didn't realize (long into adulthood) that I really didn't get to make a lot of my own.

I recently went to the Orlando area for a combo "Girl's trip"/family visit, with my bestie. Had a basic list - but wanted it to be unstressful. Score!!! Did you know Cape Canaveral is a whole separate city from where they keep the rockets??! Also, you MIGHT want to have a more specific destination than "The Gulf"??! (enter Clearwater). Naive traveler, but happy!!!

Choices were made, on a daily basis. The closest "touristy" thing we did, was eat at the TGIF by the big Universal sign. Was headed for a tattoo place my nephew suggested, couldn't find it; but via a "Happy Accident" had ANOTHER amazing tattoo experience, with Shae - guess who watched Wicked, while getting another "Wicked infused" tatt??!

��

Also, got to see a rocket launched from Texas fly low in the horizon, after dumping it's boosters in the Gulf...while spending time with family. Love a good multi-fer!!!

The choices I made, before we went, enabled me to come home rested, though tired. But, had planned for it by allowing a couple days respite, before returning to work.

Choices matter - whether planning a vacation; or making your everyday life less chaotic.

Are there choices you could make today, RIGHT NOW, to point your life/goals more in the direction YOU would like to go?

A Six-Year-Old's Perspective...

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 21:30:16 GMT

...on Domestic Violence.

Dear Mommy and Daddy, I can't understand
Why you fight when my Daddy comes home
He walks in the door, you ask where he's been
And BOOM - out the door, he's gone, again
It makes me so sad in my little heart
'Cause he's already not home, so much
I need him to stay here - to sit on his lap
And his stubby face to touch
So when he comes home, please don't ask where he's been
'Cause you know how it makes him so mad
And I would really like him to stay home, for awhile
Please, let me spend more time with my Dad??!

Love, Connie...

This was written for an Art Project I made, one year; but, it WAS most of my younger life. I know, now, that it wasn't my Mother's fault - but I blamed her, for so MANY years, because I WAS able to be angry with HER.

It's actually very common for the abusive parent to blame the more passive parent - whether directly, or in more subtle ways.

Incidentally, as I was typing this out, I had flashes of situations in my current life, where I am still affected. When people ask me, "Where were you?", there's still a smidgen of a trigger. My first thought is - I'm a grown woman, it's none of your business; then I remember it CAN BE a legitimate question - not an inquisition.

��

Does any of this ring a bell, with you?

I Am A Recovering "Over..."...

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 17:39:33 GMT

- thinker
- sharer
- achiever
- doer
- analyzer
- criticizer
- stayer
- codependent
- comer

My recovery has not come without hard work and sacrifices; and will be woven into the ever-evolving patchwork of my life.

As I always say, "Choices must be made...", sometimes daily, by the minute, etc; but it IS possible for ANYONE to become an "Over...", too.

My list is, also, NOT exhaustive - what are some of your "Overs...", even things you may be either still working on, or with which you are struggling? I encourage you to keep striving toward this goal...

Setting Boundaries...

Mon, 29 Sep 2025 17:05:22 GMT

I recently had a situation happen, with someone I consider to be close. I have asked them to not speak FOR me, numerous times, when someone asks ME a question. We, again, had the same scenario about a month ago.

When it happened, before, I called them as I was leaving the venue, expressing my anger and frustration (they had left before I did). Well - fast forward to almost exactly a year, later - BAM, same thing happened.

I just spoke to them, this week, after almost a month. I have been working on what to say, all this time - in writing; but I realized, that me taking any more time, seemed a bit cruel, as I usually speak to them at least once or twice a week. So, I called them the other night (they had texted me, "How's it going?", almost a week ago); and what I wanted to say came out clearly, just the way I wanted it.

Their response was an apology - they didn't realize was angry, followed by, "I'll try."

When I awoke the next day, my thought process was that, "I'll try", is like a child when caught doing something wrong, asking, "Please Mommy, can I have one more chance??!". It did NOT sit well with me, at all.

They are an adult. I realize I cannot control what another person does, or says - only how I react/don't react to a situation. As I have previously blogged, I am working the "Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins, into my "life toolbox".

The first part is "Let Them" do what they're going to do; ah, but that second part is, "Let ME do what I NEED to do". This is where Boundaries enter the situation.

See, letting them be who they are, does NOT give them carte blanche to treat you however they want and you just lie there, like a doormat. You need to work out, and inform THEM, in advance, "if you do A, B will happen". Just like should be done with children.

Also, I was VERRRRRRY angry at first - that's why I wanted to wait until I wasn't, to confront them; and I told them this. As I did, they grew up with a rageaholic; and always got caught up in the "why are they angry with me??!", missing the real issue.

I am still working out the specifics on what my boundary will be; but, here we are. It has to be a boundary I WILL follow through with - otherwise, this last month has been a complete waste of my brain process.

I will not let their actions stop me from going where I want to go, or be with the people with whom I want to be.

How have you handled this type of situation, in the past? Does it sound familiar? What did YOU learn from it?

The Grief of Abuse...

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 12:20:44 GMT

One of the things many people skip over, when they discuss working through their abuse, is the overwhelming sense of Grief you're left holding.

It can be for any number of reasons - but the feelings you have are just as real, and important, as the abuse itself.

If you don't process that Grief, right alongside it, if possible - it's kind of like walking forward, while leaving your stomach in a pile, behind you. THAT'S how important it is to process!!!

Some of it could be the longing, "for what could/should have been", or the emptiness when you realize how little you really meant to someone. The list is endless, really - as are those feelings. Even an unfulfilled promise someone made to you - Grief is infinite.

It also has NO time limit to process - years later, you could be driving you car, and pass something that triggers a memory - all those feelings come rushing back. You may be able to avoid it, temporarily; but it will keep coming up, until you deal with it.

I'm not saying you have to LIVE in your Grief - I did that for a very loooooong time - believe me, not the most effective. But, ignoring it will NOT make it go away.

I encourage you to stay as current as possible with your feelings - then you're more prepared when those "undealt-with" feelings come rushing back. You are less likely to get swept away by that "current"...

Does this bring to mind any situations in YOUR life?

Someone Else??!

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 14:27:25 GMT

Recently, I had a friend text me in a situation, where she needed support. I was in a meeting, and told her I could contact her after the meeting.

She got ahold of another "Support Person", she has in her life; and they talked her "off the ledge", so to speak (she was NOT suicidal, btw).

I talked to her 2 days, later; and I felt myself feeling a little "salty" over the fact I wasn't able to help her in that moment. I told her, "That's a moment you tell me it's a 911-type situation".

THREE DAYS later, I was able to reconcile the FACT that I got my "feel bads" hurt, because she had someone else that was able to help her in that moment - and it wasn't me!!! HELLO??!

I'm sitting here, now, feeling so grateful that she has such a good support system; and embarrassed that my ego was all up in that mess in my head!!!

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Epiphanous, right??!

ALWAYS keep in mind, that THEM having support in any crisis is PARAMOUNT!!! If it's you, do your best; and if it's NOT you, be GRATEFULL they have such a strong support system!!! As I often say, "Welcome to the 'Rocket Science' portion of our tour..."

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My "No"…

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 14:27:19 GMT

...now has power, at least for me.

As a child, and over half of my adult life, my no was basically useless; especially when I REALLY needed it.

I had this epiphany, recently, while watching Wicked, for the gagillionth time...lol. Glinda says it numerous times - to the monkeys, the Emerald Guard, etc, because she REALLY believes she can stop them with her "No!".

Realistically, not effective - on them. But, it's what's INSIDE her, that makes ALL the difference - even if it doesn't work on others, it EMPOWERS HER!!!

As adults, even though we have NO control over what others do - we can choose how we are going to react, etc; exactly what we are willing to tolerate in our lives. WE DO get to say, "No!", sometimes - remember this!!! Incorporate it into your daily interactions - both with others, AND that self-talk!!!

Does this ring true, to you? Are you ready to take back, and be EMPOWERED by YOUR "No!!!"??!

Frenzied Thinking...

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 09:13:27 GMT

I used to just sit and think - not the productive kind, but frenzied!!! My brain would just "sit and spin", if you will. This is NOT a productive thought process - talk about high anxiety!!!

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I would often contemplate why other people didn't seem to be struggling like me. A BIG thought, was, why other "chunky" people were popular; and I often felt ignored, or miniscule in a group setting - and I blamed it on being "chunky". I tried to "act" like THEY did; but it only made my struggles worse.

Truth be told, I blamed my problems on everything, and EVERYONE else.

Therein lies the seed of truth - I wasn't being true to who I was - BUUUUUUT, had NO clue who I was, either.

I didn't know what I LIKED, or wanted out of my life, because I had always caved to other's expectations, and desires for/with me.

Over the last 33 years of my life, THAT has been my focus. I have worked VERY hard, over those years, to "slow my brain down" to "functional" - quite an arduous task, I might add; and to figure out what I NEEDED and WANTED.

I have shared, that over the last few months, I have been struggling with regaining the "structure" I had in my life. Old "tapes" have been playing in my brain - I even returned to the "chunky thought process", briefly!!! Whaaaaaaat??!

That. Stops. NOW.

I knew "something" was going on - just couldn't put my finger on it. I have been "clawing my way" out of that "Old Dry Well"; instead of productively, letting that rain water help me rise out of it - I was slowly drowning in it.

Today, is (another) "New Beginning" for me. I am taking Accountability for the things I have been irresponsible with; and working on being responsible from this moment, on.

Have you ever been caught in the trap of "Frenzied Thinking"??!

We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow

"Filling Your Day..."

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 12:19:15 GMT

As I sit here and drink my coffee, every morning, I contemplate my plans for the day. My planner is usually open, and iykyk, I have alarms set for EVERYTHING!!! lol

I delete alarms, as I accomplish my goals; and check off my planner, periodically.

This helps me keep my "structure", which as you may know, kind of exploded on me the end of April, and beyond. I FINALLY, after struggling to regain it, decided to just start over - though freeing; a bit of an uphill battle.

Things are moving forward, and am feeling less stressed. NOW, to get my BP to please my new Dr.

However, I don't just "fill my days" with things to do. While there are things that MUST be done - I make sure that "Me Time", even through my planning, takes place. Trust me - though I survived my "Running Like a Bunny" phase of my life. I am too old for that, now.

Each day I try to include connections with others; "me time/self-care" - whatever that looks like, that particular day; completing "have to's"; and hydrating/eating to the best of my ability.

How do you fill YOUR days?

Seizing the Power of Secrets…

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 15:11:49 GMT

I grew up keeping "Family Secrets" I didn't even know existed!!! Sometimes, when around people that knew my family wasn't QUITE a "Norman Rockwell" family; I always felt like the butt of some joke.

As I got older, my brain, often unbeknownst to my conscious thought, started putting things together; and eventually after asking several trusted people - confirmed them to be true.

So, when these secrets were confirmed, I started talking - not really to intentionally hurt anyone; but because it confirmed to ME that I wasn't nuts!!!

Secrets are VERRRRRRY powerful, AND stressful!!!

One of the many caveats to keeping secrets, is that often, it's NOT your secret to tell. I mean, if you were abused in any way - shout that from the rooftops, baby!!! If they didn't want people to know their true selves, they should have made better choices. You have NOTHING to be ashamed of!!!

But, if you're entrusted with someone else's family secrets, that's, as I always say, "NOT my charter." Meaning, that sharing their secret is not your job to do. It's their choice - but, IT CAN STILL BE STRESSFUL for you!!!

This is where you seize YOUR power back, from that secret. Put it into proper perspective, to avoid it stressing you out. If possible, talk to the person whose secret/s you're keeping, and explain how it makes you feel.

That's where the power/stress of that secret comes from - when your choice is removed.

Now, if a conversation simply isn't possible, you yourself, have the power to remove that stress. It's not easy - but if you choose to do something, and stick to it - NOBODY can stop you!!!

Amiright??!

Living Within Your Means...

Mon, 28 Jul 2025 19:51:30 GMT

When you hear this phrase, does your mind automatically think of financial?

Well, did you know it can refer to your mental capacity or abilities, on any given day??! For example, at your job - are you able to give 100% ALL DAY, EVERY DAY??! Honestly, cannot think of anyone, except machines, that can do that; and I've seen many break down, over the years.

Some days, you have less to give - but you give 100% of whatever you've got. Technically, you gave 100%, amiright??!

That is how I assess myself, every day. If I get into my mind, "Man, I am such a loser, because I just don't have it, today"; THAT is when "myself and I" have a little internal dialog, ASAP!!!

Life happens, but it's WHAT YOU DO NEXT, that makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE!!! Can I stop that little voice from telling me that? Nope. Eventually, it does lose it's power - when you realize it's happening, and nip it in the bud. It's a process, but a possibility. You just have to do the work.

Remember, in life, very little of what is handed to you has the most value or meaning - it's what you work for, that usually has the greatest value to you.

Can you, right now, think of any examples of what I'm talking about? We would LOVE to hear any insight you might have. Please contact the ministry via this website; or email us at Ozer Ministries, Inc - ozerministries@att.net ; or my email - Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com . Have a good day, and be safe!!! #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #domesticviolenceiseverywhere #youarenotalone #doyouknow

If You Could Choose...

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 16:51:13 GMT

...ANYONE in the world, to be, would you still choose yourself?

The life you've lived - the good, the bad and the ugly??!

I think about this, often. Not saying, at all, that I deserved many of the things I had to survive, to get to here; but, had I not - I would NOT be the person I am, today.

I don't claim to be perfect - BELIEVE ME!!! But, I FINALLY love myself, warts and all - something that was lacking, for so many years.

I have discovered many of my passions; and am actually following a few of them. Am not done, in any way; but I think I am content, currently. Though still have that frustration, kind of always running in the background, that I am not doing "enough".

While some of that may have some truth, it has NO bearing on the FACT that I AM enough; and I'm doing my best every day. May not be 100% - but, if all I have available is 50%, on any given day, I'm still giving it all I've got.

That's the overall goal - to be true to yourself, and do your best. If ANYONE is trying to demand more from you, some hard choices may have to be made.

I challenge you to do some thinking, maybe journaling, talk to a trusted person. Try to figure out if you would still choose yourself - and why or why not?

It's "Self-care" NOT "Selfish" Care...

Mon, 14 Jul 2025 17:59:01 GMT

I just want to encourage you to make sure you are making yourself a priority.

I've known many people, including myself, that didn't do that for many years.

Now, I am such a priority, that some people think I'm selfish - SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH!!!

I've learned that the ones that think I'm being selfish were, usually, the ones that benefited the most from my lack of self-care.

Crazy, huh??!

Have a great day, and be safe!!!

"Be Like Bobbie"...

Mon, 07 Jul 2025 15:15:15 GMT

As some of you may know, in April, I went to the 100th Birthday Party, for my dear Friend, Bobbie. Knew her my whole life - she was a janitress at my my father's office building. I spent a LOT of time with her, as a child; and she taught me so much - about life, and how to treat people who were "different" than you - both inside AND out!!!

She passed on June 27. I had a long conversation with her daughter, recently. Bobbie was a force of nature; and by the hundreds of people that were at her party, a huge influence on many. Her mind was sharp, and she chatted AND related to EVERYONE that wanted to help her celebrate. I am soooooo glad I was blessed to be able to have had that time with her.

She held my hand, and just kept saying, "My Baby" - and I didn't even care, though at 63, I am FAR from that - but I will cherish that memory for the rest of my life.

I guess my message for today, is follow your heart. I may get overwhelmed, and the heat may have affected me a lot, this year - but you know "the self-care" is strong with this one. Do what YOU need to do, to take care of YOU...and be like Bobbie!!!

Change is One...

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 12:36:31 GMT

...of the few "Constants" in life. Are YOU changing and evolving?

I've been in relationships with people, in the past, that when I attempted to encourage them to grow, as a person, I was told, "That's just the way I am!"; and they acted offended that I would even expect any kind of change or growth out of them.

Whaaaaaaaat??!

Growth and change are life!!! Granted, not everyone's FAVORITE part; but still!!!

I have not purposely walked away from many relationships in my life - I've always kind of been a "clinger" (not proud, but honest).

Over the last seven-ish years, I have walked away from several relationships, where people weren't willing to even look at some kind of change or growth.

I'm not saying I am "all-knowing" on what people need in their lives; but when I know you for several years, at least, and you've not grown, or changed, AT ALL...well, choices must be made. To either stay engaged, if you feel you must; or to break away, and move on with your own growth and changes.

I'm not a hater, I wish them all the best - heard the phrase once, "I still want you to eat; just not at my table."

Have you ever had to make hard decisions regarding people not being willing to grow?

Sharing Layers of Your Truth...

Mon, 23 Jun 2025 12:17:23 GMT

When you first meet someone, you usually don't give them your entire life's story. This is wisdom; unless that's all the further you're willing to go, with ANYONE.

I believe people are placed in our lives to help "stretch" us - assist us in our growth. As you get to know them, you allow them deeper into your truth.

If you get to a point, where you can go no further, decisions must be made. It comes down to what YOU are willing to share, of your truth.

On the opposite side of that, if you're in any kind of relationship with someone; are THEY willing to share their truth with you? Do you feel like they're only letting you see "the best" of them? HUUUUGE Red Flag!!!

Share this observation with them - see if they give you the answers you need in your heart. If they cannot - decisions must be made.

Remember, you are worth doing what's best for you!!!

C.O.M.P.A.S.S.I.O.N.

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 14:42:46 GMT

C.ounting

O.n

M.y

P.ersonal

A.ttempts to

S.upport

S.omeone's

I.ndividuality, WITHOUT trying to

O.verride what THEY

N.eed

When Things Don't Quite Go to Plan...

Mon, 09 Jun 2025 15:11:04 GMT

How do you handle this type of situation? Do you just roll with it; or do you lose your mind - trying to fix it and make it work, anyway?

These are both valid choices; but, look at the bottom-line. What is the most important thing? Is there a way for you to prioritize what needs to happen, without losing your mind, in the process?

Granted, there WILL be things you CANNOT change - BUT what CAN you do? Take a moment, or seven, and think about your options. THIS is where YOUR change will happen.

If there is nothing you can do to change anything, or if it was caused by something you did - take responsibility for it, and MOVE ON WITH YOUR LIFE. Dwelling on/in it - won't change a thing. Learn, and go on.

I know people, myself included (in the past), that are still dwelling on/trying to "fix" something from decades ago!!! Just stop!!! Your racing brain will very rarely solve ANYTHING current, let alone something from the past!!!

Does any of this sound remotely familiar??!

Choices Are Made...

Mon, 02 Jun 2025 15:04:01 GMT

...every single day of your life - beginning when you wake up. Are you a snooze button fiend; or do you get up as soon as (or even before) that alarm goes off??! Do you do a healthy breakfast, or just glug down some coffee, and a muffin? These are all choices that we make, usually, without much thought.

There are, also, major choices we make EVERY day. Such as:
- are we going to choose kindness?
- are we going to let "little" things bug us?
- how are we going to speak to OURSELVES??!
- are we going to let someone else's bad mood/choices ruin OUR day?

You see, it's NOT what happens to you, that has the biggest affect on you - it's what YOU choose to do, NEXT.

I believe this is where much of the disconnect from ourselves happens. We either forget, or many don't even realize the plethora of choices we have, no matter how big or small our situation may be.

I've used the rudder on a ship, as an example, before. That LITTLE apparatus makes ALL the difference on the ship's trajectory. History has demonstrated how an over/undercorrection can change so much.

The bottom-line I want you to take from all this, is this - YOU HAVE CHOICES. MAKE THEM.

My Tale of...

Mon, 19 May 2025 15:44:52 GMT

...THREE new cell phones!!!

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Talk about juggling!!!

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I am NOT that tech savvy!!!

Me trying to make my way through all of the pitfalls that come up, has STRESSED. ME. OUT!!!

Metaphorically, it demonstrates, to me, how MANY Victims of an abusive relationship live their entire lives. There is no respite - no chance to rest and relax. Just moving from crisis, to crisis, etc.

Then, when you think you have something figured out, and can, maybe, start moving forward; one of those bowling balls you've been juggling kind of lands on your head!!!

It's unsettling, and keeps you off-balance - which is part of the perpetrator's method of operation. It's hard to reach out and seek help, if your hands are always full!!! So keeping you busy is a priority!!!

This is ONE reason, that self-care is so important. It gives you a breather, even if only for a few minutes. Helps you clear your head; and maybe come up with your next life-move.

Do you feel like some of this was taken from your true-life story??! I encourage you to investigate inside yourself, even further. Find a few minutes, every day, to look at things, realistically; and see what changes you need to, and are able to make.

Subtle changes - like the rudder on a ship that can, amazingly, turn that ship in the direction it needs to go. Have you SEEN how small that rudder is, compared to the size of the ship - miniscule!!!

Well, Yeah, But...

Mon, 12 May 2025 15:37:47 GMT

Do you know that if you get into that kind of "backpedaling" conversation, it could go on for hours, or days, or even decades??!

I was inspired to write this particular post,
by a recent conversation with a Friend. He and I were discussing a previous conversation that sort of came to an impasse, when he responded with, "Well, yeah, but..."; and proceeded to continue arguing his point. I looked at him, and said, "Well - we could 'well, yeah, but' until two weeks from next Thursday; and I don't believe either one of us would change the other person's response/feelings/etc."

He went on to work, and we met up about an hour later. In that time, I had been thinking over our conversation - the bottom-line, was that neither one of us was "wrong"; but his feelings had gotten hurt. I had stood firm on what I had said; buuuuuut - recalled something I had read, recently, about taking responsibility for hurting someone, even when you aren't wrong.

The metaphor goes something like this:

- you have a glass you really like
- someone comes in, and accidentally bumps it off the counter, and it shatters
- you are hurt inside your heart - that glass was a special gift from someone you love very much
- they try to "explain away" your hurt, by saying, over and over, I didn't mean to break your glass - BUT, that really doesn't make you feel ANY better, does it??! (Their reaction to your reaction can really mess up relationships, eh??!)
- they, then, say just these 4 simple words, "I broke the glass" - taking accountability for the situation; thereby, acknowledging your feelings
- it doesn't change a thing, that glass ain't coming back; but the feelings can now begin to heal

He and I have now set up that "code" for conversations, where he feels I should apologize for something I said - but, I'm wondering why I should apologize, when I don't believe I did anything wrong - impasse. Honestly, it's usually me that opens my mouth more often, than not...

Sound familiar? I believe EVERYONE has those conversations, that reach an impasse - there is still a way to complete them, without ANYONE feeling steamrolled.

I am a Recovering "Codependent"...

Mon, 05 May 2025 13:15:44 GMT

I am a people pleasing, "helpful at my own expense" kinda person - well, at least I used to be.

One of my favorite metaphors to share with people, is, "You cannot pour from an empty cup."

I have FINALLY learned that my own self-care is CRUCIAL TO my abilities to help ANYONE else. If I'm not adding self-care into my (at the VERY least, one-to-two-times-a-week) daily routine, my helpfulness is limited.

The focus is usually sooooo much on anyone and everyone else's needs; that the helper neglects themselves - adding a whole new set of internal, sometimes external, issues to the mix.

I, personally, believe this is where many people get off track; thereby, perpetuating the cycle of Domestic Violence, generationally. Been there - breaking that curse!!!

Are you codependent? Does any of this sound familiar? It is NEVER too late!!! I encourage you to do a little self-assessment and self-reflection, periodically.

Your Passion...

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 12:33:40 GMT

Do you know what your passion is? That motivation that gets you right in the feels??! It stokes that fire in your belly, and drives you?

Though I am unable to commit as much time as I would like, writing IS my passion. Sharing the wisdom I have acquired over my nearly 33 years in my "Healing Process"; AND my nearly 64 years, on the planet.

When I am writing, and my thoughts come together - bam, I feel so complete in that moment. Like this is what I was born to do.

Then, I have moments where I struggle to form a sentence - now, does that make writing any less of my passion? I don't think so - it just reminds me how human I am...lol.

As with everything in life, your passion moves in waves - keep this in mind. I see the iceberg utilized, a lot, when someone is describing another's thought-process. There is so much more going on, under the surface, than we will probably ever know.

For example - I have many titles, or Blog topics, in the Notes, on my phone. Trust me, when I say my brain is ALWAYS going - sometimes, I do struggle to get my posts completed in a timely manner - but I usually do. It's NOT because I haven't been working on anything - it's because my BRAIN is working on EVERYTHING!!! But, I digress...I guess you could say that's maybe a "down side" of having a passion for something? That obsession.

But, in life, it is the choices we make, that make ALL the difference. I could let it get me down, that I am not where I want to be, in my "writing career" - I choose to embrace each day as it comes; both good and bad, and move on through it.

Every day, YOU have the same opportunities I do - to make the choices to stoke that fire, within. If you're not where you want to be, in life - what changes do you need to make to begin that quest to YOUR passion? These, and others, are some important questions you might want to begin asking yourself. I challenge you...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Setting Yourself Up...

Sat, 19 Apr 2025 12:25:49 GMT

...for an anxiety episode; while simultaneously keeping one from happening.

I work retail with a girl, let's call her "Buffy". Each day, as she arrives, she will ask me, "Has it been busy?" Seems innocent enough, right? However, one day it hit me that she needed to assess the environment, as she came in the door. Just one of those "random epiphanies".

"Buffy" is one of my many friends that suffers from anxiety - she even took some time off, a few months ago, to try and get it under control.

It got me thinking about times when I feel anxious. Growing up, in a Domestic Violence situation, as I did - I learned EARLY ON, that my awareness of the environment around me, and the need/ability to walk gently on those proverbial eggshells could keep the peace, for at least a little while. The caveat was, you never knew just what was going to set my Father off.

Though I would love share "my theory" with "Buffy"; I don't feel compelled to, yet. Usually, that means it's time for ME to learn a new "life-lesson".

Some questions I have been asking myself, are:
1 - Do I know my "why" for this particular chain of thoughts? This sort've leads right into...

2 - What DO I have control over, in my life; and is there something I feel is particularly OUT of my control? Honestly, I can think of several situations, right off the top of my head.

Well - I see that I have some internal work to do - SURPRISE!!! I HAVE been feeling some anxiety, lately, when I face certain situations; and I guess it's time they were dealt with.

This is what living is really about, though, isn't it? Learning "Your Whys", and dealing with them, as they come up. Doesn't this seem SO MUCH BETTER than being controlled by the anxiety if you DON'T deal with it!!! Whew!!! I sure think so!!!

If this gave you any "random epiphanies", do you think it's time for YOU to ask YOUR whys??! Maybe be able to thwart some of your anxiety?

I would love to hear your insight on my thoughts...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Positivity Gives You...

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 17:29:38 GMT

..."handholds", as you climb out of the "Old Dry Well"; or ANY "hole of life", in which you may find yourself trapped.

Though we may find ourselves caught up in "garbage situations", throughout our lives; we have a HUGE opportunity.

We can either cave to the negativity, and just roll over and take what's dealt to us - OR, we can, through a positive, determined attitude, change the entire trajectory of our thought process; thereby changing our entire lives.

By suggesting positivity; I am in no way negating the difficulty of your day-to-day life. It doesn't change the fact that your situation IS difficult - it gives you those "handholds" I spoke about earlier. You are only STUCK in that hole, if you choose to not utilize them.

Even if you DUG that hole; positivity CAN assist you in getting out.

So...I ask you, are you going to choose positivity to get yourself out of WHATEVER hole, you happen to be stuck in??! Orrrrr...are you going to stay there, awhile longer? What if that hole gets deeper?

Compared to then, I would think it would be.simpler, now, right??!

Remember, it's YOUR choice...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

What IF WE...

Mon, 07 Apr 2025 12:57:41 GMT

...didn't judge...

...were kind...

...kept our eyes on our OWN "paper"...

...did what we could...

...practiced self-care...

...only spoke positively to others...

...only spoke positively to OURSELVES...

...could ignore negativity...responsibly...

...could ALL act responsibly...

...could be accountable...

...could be honest with ourselves...

...did everything with integrity...

...could be committed to ourselves...

...saw, and acted in truth...

...do you think the world would change??!

I DO...

one. step. at. a. time...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Truth...My "Superpower"...

Mon, 24 Mar 2025 14:49:45 GMT

Being babied and coddled, LONG past the age I should have been held accountable for my actions; I wasn't raised to "handle" or "deal with" anything. I would just shed a few tears, and get my way. I now understand, it was because I was SUCH an inquisitive and "noticing" child. I also asked, "Why?", a LOT.

That "babying" and "coddling" was just another layer of deceit, in my life. It took away my "superpowers", for MANY years. I was never going to get the answers I sought, so why keep asking the questions?

But, although I didn't consciously ask; I still paid attention and observed. Over the years, I have come up with many right answers, on many painful issues. I believe, there's only ONE way I could know a lot of what I "just know".

Then I started sharing the truths I discovered; though awkwardly, at first - I stayed engaged in sharing those truths.

I hurt, and lost some people - but though it was painful, I knew that NOT sharing those truths was hurting ME even more.

I wish some of the people who were involved in that deceit, some who are no longer with us, could have explained some things to me. I still ask "Why?" - but it echoes, and eventually fades away. I know it doesn't really matter, anyway; but others accountability would have been cathartic to see.

I will continue to speak my truth - though I still get in trouble, sometimes; and they try to quiet me. Hmmm - good luck with that. My "Pandora's Box" has been opened - never to be closed, again.

As I've stated, before, I WAS raised in a Domestic Violence situation; and much of what I'm still piecing together, is a direct result. Speaking my truth, is doing MY part to "END the SILENCE of VIOLENCE"!!!

What can you do? What is YOUR "superpower"??!

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Are You a "Pinball"...

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 14:27:01 GMT

...just bouncing from event, to event, in your life? Sometimes, that's how I feel.

I am very "date triggered" - and the irony is, that this started AFTER I began my healing process in 1992. The first big date I remember, after that, is December 27, 1995 - the day my Grandma died.

Some of these dates, while still major, I am able to work; others they still hit so hard, I can't work. I take the day off to remember, and reflect.

One example, 9/11/01 ‐ I worked it '02-'04; but in '05, after going to work in the AFTERNOON of '04, and mentioning it to someone, and they said, "Oh yeah, that IS today, isn't it?" - I vowed to never work another 9/11 - and haven't. While I DO respect everyone's right to how they think and feel - I will NEVER forget, nor will I work that day. I feel like it's MY job to remember.

I think part of it is, growing up, everything that was traumatic, you just swept under the rug and moved on - it was never processed. I have now learned to process EVERYTHING; and am able to prioritize what matters to me.

Many people don't understand why I do what I do; but that doesn't bother me - and what few people DO understand, while I may "honor" certain dates by pausing to reflect and remember - I HAVE moved on from them, and this is all part of MY process to do just that. I am ok; and doing what I NEED TO DO in my life. No one else can control me - THAT IS HUGE!!!

Being controlled by someone else's responses, moods, feelings, etc, is a DIRECT result of growing up in a Domestic Violence situation; and I am NOT that person, anymore. So, if I "Pinball" my way through life, so be it. I have a CHOICE with EVERY target I bounce off of.

Does any of this connect to something in your very soul? We would love to hear YOUR thoughts on being a "Pinball"...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Growth Spurts...

Mon, 10 Mar 2025 14:26:59 GMT

Have been thinking a LOT about this, lately.

I recently spent some time with a close friend, and they made a comment, that in the past, would have changed my whole "thought-process trajectory". Pretty much any response they made to ANY expression of how I felt, about many things, would cause me to just adapt MY feelings - and shut them down, basically; thereby, making myself smaller, and invalidating how I felt - sound familiar??!

I really care about them; and I want them to really see, and understand me, like I THOUGHT they did at one point. But, life has taken us different directions; and I wonder if we ever really had that relationship I believed we did. Was it ALL in my head??!

Which brings me to "Growth Spurts".

In that recent conversation, they shared that something I was doing made them feel like I was giving a "canned, impersonal response". I told them, if that's what they really believed; then they didn't know me as well as I thought they did - but I did NOT back down!!! Although, it DID take me a couple days, to get my groove back; did I mention that I DID NOT BACK DOWN??!

That, my Friend, was a major "Growth Spurt"!!!

When something happens, and you can look in the past and realize you responded differently "than you always did" - THAT'S a "Growth Spurt"!!!

Have you ever had that kind of thing happen? I hope so - in looking back, how long did it take YOU to figure out that growth? Not gonna lie, it sometimes takes me a minute (or seven)...but then, there's that moment of euphoria, that just takes your breath away.

The down-side, it's often followed by a major choice - are you going to stay in that growth, and keep growing; or are you going to revert back to old habits - which never quite satisfy, from that point on?

Just remember, you DO always have a choice...choose wisely!!! Happy Growth Spurts!!!

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Wrong Place...

Mon, 03 Mar 2025 21:24:16 GMT

...wrong time. Ever been there??!

My thought process for this - I was 20, at a gas station putting air in my tires. I had just filled both on the driver's side, as a car pulled up on the passenger side, really close - where I happened to be standing. There was plenty of room for me to stand there, safely, until they backed out - or so I thought!!!

While backing out, they turned their wheel too sharply - knocking me to the ground, and scraping the entire side of my car!!! They, quickly pulled back in, while I was getting to my feet, and asked if I was ok. I said, "Yes"; and let them leave. I was basically in shock, right??!

While I AM very happy I wasn't crouched down, filling a tire, at that moment, and it WAS an older car (my Mother called it "The Bronze Bomber"; so comparing before/after, damage was honestly minimal), AND I wasn't hurt - I still wish so many things:

- they hadn't scraped my car
- I had been on other side, so not knocked down
- had maybe seen about their insurance info, etc, but I didn't - maybe held them accountable?
- I had taken more time to CARE about MYSELF in that moment - they were a couple of kids; and I was more worried about them - even though I WAS THE ONE LAYING ON THE GROUND...sitting here, right now - I can recall so many situations with me having the same type of reaction, throughout my life!!!

Have you ever had a similar type of situation happen to you?

With Domestic Violence, you often don't know when your partner is going to go off. They seem to let the "big things" go; but blow up at the tiniest situations.

Hmmmmm...insightful moment - that explains it - I grew up in that environment, and learned it very well, apparently. Wow!!! I knew I was a "recovering rage-aholic"; just hadn't looked at that situation from this perspective. Live and learn, right??! Let's GROW!!!

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

HOW Can I Be Grateful...

Mon, 24 Feb 2025 01:23:21 GMT

...with all of this chaos in my life??! While I THOUGHT I thrived in it - it was slowly, and methodically, eating me alive.

This was one of THE HARDEST lessons for me to learn.

I'm an extremely deep thinker; and I feel things to my very core. Every single thought in my head was screaming to be heard, at once; and I was in such all-consuming, emotional pain. Gratitude was THE FURTHEST thing from my mind!!!

While on one of my "anger/confused" rants, (that had kind of become "my thing"), my friend grabbed both sides of my face in her hands, and said, "WHAT ARE YOU GRATEFUL FOR??!" (Hysterically, she was literally across the country, and we were on the phone - but this is my story, and I'm sticking to it!!!)

It caught my attention, and stopped my rant dead in it's tracks; thus beginning my "grateful sojourn".

While I don't remember what I answered; it did the trick - knocked my rant right off its' axis!!!

You can listen to what people say, advice, etc, for years - but then one day, something someone says will just "CLICK" that switch inside you; and your whole life will change.

Are you ready to have YOUR "switch" clicked? Are you exhausted from all that internal chaos consuming you, day by day?

True change begins inside you - I encourage you, as soon as your eyes open (or even before), to think of ONE thing you can be grateful for, in your life.

It doesn't mean your life will necessarily change, in that instant; but what have you got to lose? Just start - and see what happens...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

JusT SpInnIng PlaTes...

Mon, 17 Feb 2025 19:18:50 GMT

...is my metaphor for life. Remember the old vaudeville shows - just about every one I saw on TV, had a "plate spinner". They had china plates on long bamboo poles - the goal was to keep them spinning, so they didn't crash down on them.

This is how I view life - we're all just trying to keep our "plates" spinning:
- family
- self
- job
- charity work
- friends
- whatever other responsibilities we have
- etc

The list goes on and on - and some days, all we have time to do is clean up "crashed plates" - because our focus isn't where it needs to be.

We are only human, with only 24 hours in a day - if you're spreading yourself too thin, because you "HAVE TO" get all this done - maybe it's time to re-evaluate your priorities?

No doubt, there ARE things that "HAVE TO" get done, every day; but, if you look at your list - can it be trimmed, or readjusted?

Add to that, if you ARE in a Domestic Violence situation, is your list of priorities YOUR list; or someone else's, just trying to keep you off-balance, and cleaning up "crashed plates", on purpose?

I encourage you to take some time to think about this, and do a little re-evaluating - it CAN change your life...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Feeling "Unvalued"...

Mon, 10 Feb 2025 05:57:13 GMT

I recently had a situation, where I felt COMPLETELY unvalued, and taken advantage by a friend - and it hurt, made me angry and just left me totally confused.

I didn't get a chance to talk to them, the day it happened (want to do it in person); and have to wait til next month.

Am utilizing this time to:

1 - process my hurt
2 - process my anger
3 - clear up any confusion in me
4 - figure out MY part in what happened
5 - come up with a clear plan to work with this person to attempt to not have this happen, again (understand there is NO guarantee)
6 - contemplate what "consequences" if it does happen again

I have to look at all the factors involved - and take my responsibility, and there is some. I can be lenient, sometimes, with friends - but I have to hold US accountable in the roles we played in this incident, realistically.

I have been very clear on my expectations - but, as I said, can be lenient on friends, at times - that's on me.

But, moving forward, I know I do not deserve to be put in the position I was, that day.

Have you ever felt this way after a negative interaction with someone, especially a friend?

Any insight?

How did you handle it?

Were there things you wish you could/would have done differently?

Would LOVE to hear some of YOUR insights...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

You Coming??!

Mon, 03 Feb 2025 14:50:14 GMT

I have been bingeing the movie "Wicked" - well, one pivotal scene, in particular - the Ozdust. My Counselor recently asked me why I think I love it, so much.

In THAT Ozdust moment, Elphaba AND Galinda BOTH chose growth, at the same moment...THAT is why I love it, so much...

I have spent my whole life searching for people who were willing to grow. Every step I've taken, in my life, whether I was aware of it, or not, has been dedicated to my growth.

My circle is, now, very small - at first, I was confused; but, if you're not open to growth, I no longer "need you" in my inner circle. I will still keep connections, with those that are willing; but to those unwilling - I wish you all the best...

These are life choices that many in Domestic Violence situations need to get to a point, to make - DOES your partner FIT in with YOUR lifegoals? I encourage you to do some deep reflection; and would love to hear your take on all this...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou #everybodyknowsomebody #besafe #notimeforhate #growth #ismygoal #YOUCOMING

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

Peeking Around...

Mon, 27 Jan 2025 15:37:40 GMT

...the corner of life.

I was bullied by a boy, in Junior High. When I got home and "told someone", the "support" I got, was, "He just likes you. That's what boys do. Your Father used to tease me, relentlessly." Made me feel soooooooo much better - NOT!!!

��

This caused me to be wary, everywhere I went - it was a small town; and he could literally be anywhere - he lived 3 blocks away, on the same street; between me and the school.

I think that's when my "peeking around corners" began; in every aspect of my life. I needed to be sure I had a clear path to any destination - literally, AND figuratively. Also, had to avoid getting bullied, again; by anyone.

This can make your life feel very...compartmentalized. Which, by the way, added to the already established "compartments" my life was in, due to my childhood sexual abuse.

As I have grown, over the years; most of my compartments have, basically, fused together. My daily goal is to be, "What you see, is what you get."; and for the most part, that's who I am.

Though periodically, when in a new situation; or I feel like that Junior High girl, again; I may find myself, still, "peeking around" those corners.

Have you done this, or do you still do it? How have you healed that part of yourself? Would love to hear your insight into this topic.

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

Apologizing VS Seeking Forgiveness...

Mon, 20 Jan 2025 15:37:38 GMT

There is a DEFINITE difference between these two phrases; although MANY people, generally, believe they mean the same thing. Were YOU aware?

It took me a LOOOOONG time to grasp this concept; and of course, it took many "epiphanies", for it to stick. Recently re-learned it, as a matter of fact.

Just apologizing, with NO accountability, or changed behavior, is a breeze. An example of this would be, when people say, "I'm sorry you feel that way" - it's like they're taking away your ability to feel, and process that hurt.

However, in seeking forgiveness, if they say something like, "I'm sorry what I said hurt you" - you are still able to feel and process your feelings.

These are basics I try to keep in mind during everyday conversation.

As I said, re-learned it recently - the goal isn't to be perfect; it's what you do AFTER you speak incorrectly, that makes all the difference.

I encourage you to keep engaging, and seeking forgiveness, when necessary - that is ONE way, we can ALL grow...I love a good two-fer...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

No Pressure...

Mon, 13 Jan 2025 16:59:39 GMT

...no diamonds". I saw this on a t-shirt, recently. Very profound, don't you think?

The process that coal goes through, to become a diamond is incredible. I mean, yes, in its natural state, coal can be useful.

But, as a diamond - the uses are unlimited.

I believe we all arrive like coal - birth IS an extraction process of a "natural resource" (which, sometimes, is more difficult, than others; accidents happen, people get wounded, or worse.)

LIFE is the "pressure" that processes us into the "diamond" we ALL have the potential to become.

They are real, not all perfect; but are valuable in their natural state, regardless. When made into beautiful jewelry, etc - the limits are endless!!!

Just like us!!! WE HAVE ENDLESS LIMITS, ALSO!!! Who knew??!

It took me a LOOOOOOONG time to learn this - and yes, I do, periodically, question my true value - it's a human thing. Just means it's time for a little reevaluation; then move back into the "traffic of life". It's what we are supposed to do.

Yes, it CAN be traumatic; but it's like the proverbial, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water." Grab what knowledge you need - your "diamond"; and make NEW jewelry, if you need to!!!

I challenge you to BE that diamond!!!

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

Do You Even KNOW Your "Why"??!

Mon, 06 Jan 2025 16:59:37 GMT

This comes into my mind, quite often - especially when I veer off-track of the goals I have for my life.

I immediately stop the perpetual "hamster-wheel" that is my brain; and reevaluate what my current life-goals are.

This thought process is often triggered by an outside source - someone questions why I do what I do, or react the the way I do; and I just begin that reevaluation process, again.

This isn't necessarily a negative thing. While the situation that triggers the process may not be the most pleasant of situations, or brought about in a most flattering way; it doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Life is about constantly evolving, changing and growing. Struggles are learning experiences - what happens after/in the midst of it, are MY choice.

That is how you get your "Why" - from the choices made, as a result of your struggles; and I encourage you to utilize this wisdom, to figure out YOUR "Why", if you haven't already.

It's never too late to start - why not now??!

Have a Happy New Year, and above all, #besafe...#beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

As 2024 Draws to a Close...

Mon, 23 Dec 2024 13:43:27 GMT

...I encourage you to take a moment to look back, and see:

1 - any changes you've made this year...
2 - changes you would like to make, as 2025 comes in...
3 - acknowledgment of growth you've seen in yourself this year...
4 - growth you're anticipating in 2025...

Try to highlight those positive things; and maybe dim the light on those negative things that seem to bring you down.

But remember, everything you go through can be utilized as bricks to build your future endeavors.

I, personally, believe everything, good and bad, happens for a reason. There are those that don't believe this; and that's ok. Everyone has the freedom to believe as they do.

The bottom line, is, that you grow. I have known many people over the years, that have chosen to stay where they are - refused to grow, make changes in their lives, etc. Again, this is their choice, not mine; but as a result, I have had to move on - because I choose growth.

Have a Happy New Year, and above all, #besafe...#beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

Crawling Downhill..

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 22:45:31 GMT

Sounds crazy, right??!

But, if you think about it, many people are doing just that. They're working so hard to MAKE their lives, that they're missing out on so much LIVING .

I have done that in the past—and honestly, it could happen again, at any given moment—so I must be aware of it all the time, and when I realize it's gone awry, work to fix it ASAP!!!

We get soooooooo wrapped up "things." Take a moment and think about what your "things" could be. A lot usually involves filling your wants as opposed to your needs.

One thing that helps keep me, well, "grounded," if you will, is practicing being content—whatever my situation happens to be at that exact moment, I stop and realize how much I'm struggling.

That's the time to step back and take a HARD look at what my focus is. If you wear glasses, you TOTALLY understand the minute you don't wear them at the proper time—your focus goes whacko!!!

Keeping focused on what you need to do can make all the difference. I know when I lose my "structure," chaos ensues, and it's not until I get back to it that I feel calmer about, well, everything—even the chaos!!!

Can you think of any situations from the past, or even in your present, that you are "Crawling Downhill"??!

What changes do you need to/can you make right now to get back to where you NEED to be? That first step can make all the difference...

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe...

#beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*** October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The victim has to make the choice—but, "What if..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"? ***

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

Are You Thankful?

Mon, 16 Dec 2024 20:00:01 GMT

As this year comes to a close - how are you feeling about your 2024?

Do you have a negative attitude about things you've been through, this year - I'm not saying everything that happens in anyone's life should make them excited; bad things DO happen to everyone.

How is your attitude, regarding them? Are you able to utilize those things for growth? Have you really looked at them as the life-lessons they are? Or are you still in the "stuck" part of the process?

What you do next, that very next step, could make all the difference in every aspect of your life.

Take the time to think on them - a) decide if it's something you need to deal with, b) nothing you do will change anything, or c) it's not even YOUR issue.

Just be thankful for the opportunity to make those choices, make them and do what must be done; and then move on with your life.

It won't change what happened; but it will remove that "stuck, spinning your wheels" feeling.

Thank you, have a good day and be safe...

#beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou

everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

On ANY Given Day...

Mon, 02 Dec 2024 14:45:00 GMT

...I can EASILY make 15-20 people angry - just by my presence in their lives, simply by doing my job.

However, I CANNOT focus on that; or let THEM determine what kind of day I'm going to have.

My ultimate goal, for EVERY day, is to reach that ONE person, wherever they are, and give them a glimmer of hope; and I usually am blessed to achieve this goal, ALMOST every day.

Most of the time, it's with a glance, or a simple "Hello", "How are you?", etc. I try to make sure I NOTICE people.

Now, my batting average is NOT perfect, because I'm "all human and stuff"; but I DO try.

That's all we can do - is try. I truly believe that's all that is expected of us - to genuinely put in that effort. Not gonna lie, it DOES feel good, when it's achieved; but that's NOT the goal. It is to be true to who I AM. MY character.

I always check myself, especially when am challenged regarding something I've said or done, "Can I look myself in the eye, in my mirror?" If I can - I'm being true to myself; if I DO feel a "check" - I investigate further, and apologize, if necessary.

Again, it's doing what we CAN do, and not stressing about what we can't. Be true to our character. I think that is the bottom line, personally. I challenge you to utilize YOUR mirror, a little more frequently...

Thank you, have a good day and be safe... #beaware #growinto2025 ##domesticviolenceiseverywhere #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #isityou
#everybodyknowsomebody #besafe

***October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?***

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Which Team are YOU Rooting For??!

Mon, 25 Nov 2024 17:12:19 GMT

Hopefully, "Team YOU"!!!

Football games AND Domestic Violence? Have you ever thought about the FACT that the outcome of a football game can cause Domestic Violence to rise?

Part of what fuels a perpetrator is their passion - they have a high level of "all the feels", basically. If they've never learned to harness that passion, most often, it comes out in inappropriate and hurtful ways.

Anger is a powerful thing. Throughout history, it has motivated the greatest - and the most hated leaders, in the world; and given the opportunity, it spreads like wildfire.

Really think about YOUR history, with your partner - have you seen this to be true? Have some of the most random things driven them to violence - and I'm speaking of physical AND mental abuse.

I wish you peace, inside, and out as this football season builds to a climax, AS the Holiday Season approaches - yet, another "passion motivator"...

Thank you. Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe #passion

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

We Were NOT Born With a Tool Belt...

Mon, 18 Nov 2024 03:22:41 GMT

...for a reason.

We have to learn and be taught, literally, EVERYTHING (beginning with that initial smack, which teaches us to take a breath!!!).

This learning does NOT (or should not) end, EVER. As we go through life's twists and turns; we are CONTINUALLY learning and re-learning. That is just life...

However, some (MANY) people tend to get "stuck in their ways", and think their learning has stopped. They dig in their heals - and say, "That's just the way I am!!!"

This makes me the saddest - yes, though life CAN get difficult; it's what you do, NEXT, that makes ALL the difference.

This is especially pertinent if you're in a Domestic Violence situation...what can YOU do, next? What tools have you added to your "Life Toolbelt", to aid you in your next step?

I challenge you, especially with Holidays fast approaching, to give this some thought. Isn't it time for YOU to get some enjoyment, too??!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Are You Just Living...

Mon, 11 Nov 2024 02:34:10 GMT

...in your trauma; or THRIVING in your healing?

We aren't put here just to exist - we exist to be thriving, growing human beings.

Even if in a Domestic Violence situation, or you've survived other kinds of abuse; it is STILL possible to thrive, in spite of it.

It's not a quick process (I've LITERALLY been working on it, over half my life) - and it can be very hard; but it's possible. The time will pass, anyway, correct?? Are you able to change your "Impossible" to "I'm Possible"??!

Start today...it's NEVER TOO LATE!!!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Our Goal is NOT Necessarily...

Mon, 04 Nov 2024 03:02:32 GMT

...to "win" much of what we fight for (though there ARE DEFINITE win/lose situations); however, our goal should be to progress our passions.

I was told, once, "You're not going to end Domestic Violence." I quickly replied, "Does that mean we don't do what we can, anyway?"

My personal theory is it probably began after Adam and Eve were sent from the Garden of Eden - so what??! It doesn't mean it's right!!! Amiright??!

It's about our mindset. Can we be a positive change in an ever devolving world? Well, I don't know about you; but I will "rage against the machine", until there is no fight left in me.

While, yes, I DO fight for those still enmeshed in the tangles of Domestic Violence; I also fight for that confused little girl, inside, that always knew things weren't right. But since she couldn't see the whole picture, usually ended up on wrong side of the battle. I have forgiven her; but she will always keep her eyes open, and fight where and when she can.

Have you reconciled YOUR goal in battling Domestic Violence? Are you a Victim, still trapped in the snares, feeling there's no way out? Or, did you make it out, and still feel like you're bouncing on the waves of the ocean of the healing process?

There are so many resources available - reach out. It can change your life...

Thank you. Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe #perseverance

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net.

Forget Trying to Help People...

Mon, 28 Oct 2024 00:14:44 GMT

...just be harmless."

"...one person at a time..."

These are quotes from Pastor Eric Camden, on the fictional television series, "Seventh Heaven"; which I have been bingeing.

I think they are good words to live by - especially if you're attempting to help a Victim of Domestic Violence. They remind me, a lot, of the oath that Medical Professionals take - "First, Do No Harm".

I used to think that I had to have a degree, or special training to be able to help people - I was helping people before I began my "Healing Process" - and now that I have been in this process almost half my life, it's almost auto-pilot. I have basically incorporated what would have helped me in my "Floundering Years", into my everyday life.

...just be harmless."

"...one person at a time..."

These are quotes from Pastor Eric Camden, on the fictional television series, "Seventh Heaven"; which I have been bingeing.

I also know how to point, when I know I'm in over my head, and the person DOES need professional help. I think that is just as important.

I believe there really is no "wrong way"; unless you're trying to "Do it for them". The only way, is for them to decide when enough is enough. Nothing anyone else does, or says, will change them - until they're ready. Then just try and be there, however you're able.

Everyone can make a difference, if you do what you can, when you can.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Is Your Family Like a Norman Rockwell Portrait...

Mon, 21 Oct 2024 23:48:40 GMT

...or are you REALLY living ON the back of the picture??!

I HONESTLY, thought, growing up and into my 30s - in spite of ALL that I knew about my family's dysfunctional state - that I grew up in a "Norman Rockwell family portrait".

As I progressed into my "Healing Process", and started to see things realistically, I was amazed to learn that it wasn't.

My life was more like the back of the photo - blank, plain, dull and drab. No splashes of color. Nothing - even the frame was icky.

...or are you REALLY living ON the back of the picture??!

I HONESTLY, thought, growing up and into my 30s - in spite of ALL that I knew about my family's dysfunctional state - that I grew up in a "Norman Rockwell family portrait".

As I progressed into my "Healing Process", and started to see things realistically, I was amazed to learn that it wasn't.

My life was more like the back of the photo - blank, plain, dull and drab. No splashes of color. Nothing - even the frame was icky.

But, if anyone from "the outside" asked, my life was perfect. "Well, yes, 'X' may have happened, when I was younger; but isn't that normal in ALL families?" Or, "Yes, my Father MAY have done 'Y'; but his Mother died when he was 14, so it's not really his fault, right??!"

Even as far as having a conversation with a co-worker about the fact that I was purposely cutting myself - "but it's no big deal, it just makes me feel better." I thought I was perfectly ok - on the outside.

Inside, I knew things weren't ok; but I was told so much, that, "What happens in our house, stays in our house." Ok??!

Yeah, about that - until September 19, 1992; when I learned a MAJOR family truth (that I had honestly figured out, myself, YEARS before this). I was basically numb, for about a week - then, on September 26, 1992 - I got "ALL THE FEELS", at once!!! This "episode" ended with me spending the mandatory 72 hours of observation. I didn't know exactly what I needed - but learned, quickly, that this place was NOT IT!!!

I floundered a bit, seeing a counselor the hospital had set up for me; saw her for a YEAR.

However, in the meantime - December, 1992, I met my current Counselor. I was fascinated by this woman. I really felt like she saw clear into me - and could see all my bad, but did NOT turn away.

She saw "my portrait" (the real one) and extended her hand to me, and we are even more "connected", than ever, today. She has helped guide me on this "process", for over half my life; and she and her husband are part of my "New and Improved Family Portrait" - a real, healthy picture in which you can see my beautiful scars, and all the damage that was done - and it can be used to let you know you're OK; we're all damaged, but beautiful, just the same.

How's YOUR portrait looking? Is it realistic? Or, are you drab and dull - like on the back? Are you ready to start making changes?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #besafe #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Waiting...

Mon, 14 Oct 2024 18:30:19 GMT

...has NEVER been my strong suit.

Prime example:
As a child, when people were coming for dinner, I would run from the front door to the kitchen, like, every 3 minutes, asking my Mother, "Where are they??!" (Mind you, this was in the 60s - NO cellphones!!!

��

She would eventually tire of my "questions", and forbid me to ask her, anymore, until they arrived.

As a result of my impatience, I always used to ask a LOT of questions. Eventually, I learned that even when I would get answers; it wasn't always the truth. It was just an attempt to "shut me up".

I still don't ask a lot of questions. I am relearning what (and how) to do it.

This has really helped my "waiting". Many times, even when you ask questions, the answer is (though often inferred) to just wait; so I have learned/am learning to be patient??!

Wait!!! Is that why "patients" stay in "waiting rooms"??!

��

Sorry - but it's really what you DO while you're waiting, that makes ALL the difference. Are you whining, because you really want an answer, immediately? Do you take your impatience out on EVERYONE around you? Choices can, and must be made.

I recently had a "wait" situation, and in retrospect, didn't handle it as gracefully as I could have. Well - in my defense, I don't necessarily trust the person I needed the answer from; however, my response was a little like "back in the day", running from the front door to the kitchen, again. I'm now in my 60s (and have a cellphone - which really makes no difference - just amused at the parallel); and wonder if I'll EVER "get there".

All anyone can do is try better, next time. By the way, I did, finally, get my answer; and will communicate to the person that I appreciate their answer. That is another way to handle many things - with communication and gratitude. Even if I hadn't gotten the answer I preferred; I would be grateful to GET an answer.

Remember life, in general, is trial and error - a universal truth that NO ONE can escape. Make the most of YOUR "wait", and learn stuff about yourself, as you go along.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #besafe #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Making What You Need, Happen...

Thu, 10 Oct 2024 18:09:07 GMT

I was a rather precocious child - and I used to "make what I needed, happen", quite often.

I had an awesome relationship with my Grandma A, my Mother's mother; but my Father's mother passed when he was only 14, from cancer. There was no love lost between him and his stepmother; and his Father passed several years before I was born.

As a child, I knew the house he grew up in, and that his stepmother still lived there; but didn't understand the lack of relationship. One day, on the way home from Brownies, she was working in the yard. I walked up to her, and asked, "Are you my Grandma?" From that day on, I would visit her, periodically; until she passed when I was 14.

I later learned some of the family history, and how she mistreated me when my Sister took me to see her, as a small child. I only knew that I had a great relationship with one Grandma; and didn't understand the family dynamics, and wondered why I didn't have TWO Grandmas active in my life - she was right there!!!

So, I made what I needed, happen. This is just one example - but it's kind of been a theme my whole life. The caveat, was, that I also learned to use this "skill" to manipulate situations, to get what I wanted.

As I have journeyed on my Healing Process, I have looked at these situations, and as the realizations arose, tried to figure out the lessons learned from each one; and apologized, where necessary.

You can choose to use your "Gifts" for either good OR bad; or you can utilize them for the best outcome, regardless of whether it looks good or bad - just what must be done.

Can YOU think of any situations in your life, either past or present, where you have OR could make what YOU need, happen? Looking at it honestly, would it make things better, or worse in your life? Is it worth trying? Or should you? There really is NO "blanket answer".

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #besafe #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #makeithappen #eachsituationisdifferent

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net

Do Not Seek Revenge...

Sun, 29 Sep 2024 21:49:39 GMT

...but do the work and begin to heal; THEN move on with your life. THAT is effective. Seeking revenge only keeps you stuck in THEIR cycle of abuse.

I know many people that have never grown, and gone through any kind of healing process - although they have moved on with their life - and just "left it all behind", or "it has no bearing on who (they are), today", and many other phrases that allude to that sentiment.

Do you find yourself doing ANYTHING in your life, that is realistically you trying to get revenge on someone that hurt you; or find yourself doing things just to "show them" exactly what you're capable of doing? This is often in response to something "they said (you) would NEVER accomplish"? Do you always seem to be trying to do things to "prove them wrong"?

Step out of that cesspool; and grow into the YOU that you are meant to become. Regardless of your trauma and abuse - THIS is one way you can "take yourself back".

As I've said, before, it's NOT an easy road; but a more worthwhile path to travel.

I challenge you to at least think about it...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe #takeyourselfback

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

X = "You Are Here"...

Sun, 22 Sep 2024 16:20:56 GMT

EVERY day is an opportunity to start over - but, the difference is, you're NOT starting from "Ground Zero"; you're starting from the progress you've already made.

Even if you "slip back" into old habits/thoughts/etc, EVERY day is a chance to move forward from the progress you've already made.

Many people miss this - I did, FOR YEARS!!! Every time I messed up, I thought I had to start back at the beginning. It FINALLY "clicked", one day. Let me tell you - my life has NOT been the same, since.

Not that my thought process doesn't revert, periodically; but a "Gibbs' slap" (#iykyk) from myself, or a trusted friend, usually gets me quickly back on track.

I think that is/can be one of the most "under-utilized" gifts we have. People with whom we share accountability - not in a codependent way; but in a strong relationship-kinda-way. "You've got me...I got you..." (BTS - Mikrokosmos).

It's ALL a part of the process; but once you grasp this concept, YOUR life will never be the same, either.

Can you look at your current circumstances, and see where you could begin to utilize this life-changing tidbit of wisdom? Would LOVE to hear your thoughts...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #besafe #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #startfromhere

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

One of My "Toxic Traits" is...

Mon, 09 Sep 2024 00:42:54 GMT

The body content of your post goes here. To edit this text, click on it and delete this default text and start typing your own or paste your own from a different source.

...that because of my social awkwardness, that went LONG into my adulthood; I get so excited when I know I am going to be seeing someone I care about, very much, and get "giddy stoopid". This seemingly overwhelms the other person (at least from my perspective); so I tend to hold myself back, and end up kicking myself because I didn't utilize the amazing time I could have spent with them.

This happened to me, recently, with one of my Cousins at our Annual Family Reunion. I hadn't seen her for 12 years - I said hello, and we talked for a few minutes, and then I didn't speak to her again, until she was leaving. We've really connected on Facebook, this last year, and I had SOOOOO been looking forward to seeing and chatting with her. Then, I was trying to figure out how to explain all this in a "quickie convo" - unrealistic expectations, on my part. Well... We're still talking on Facebook; but I'm really frustrated with myself.

It occurred to me that I am probably NOT the only person to ever deal with this "toxic trait". I believe it is, yet, ANOTHER one of my "leftovers" from my earlier years.

Have you ever found yourself doing this? Do YOU have any insight? I mean, I WILL try and overcome this, next time I feel it. That's really all we can do - try again, next time. Forward motion is the key...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe #toxictraits

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

What is YOUR Passion...

Wed, 04 Sep 2024 00:32:19 GMT

I heard Mel Robbins (Motivational Speaker, Author, Podcaster, etc) ask this in an ad on Facebook, recently. She asked if you were just randomly scrolling Social Media; or following people with a similar passion?

Well? I did a little self-reflection, and I found that many of the pages, people, etc, that I follow have a similar passion as I do. That was really eye-opening for me. I just hadn't thought about it - but was happy with the results of that self-reflection.

I mean, I know I get bored, and quickly, if there is no "meat" in the post or article (as I also do with "small-talk" or "chit-chat"). However, I do like to entertain myself (and hopefully others) via periodic "really random" posts on my personal page, .

How about you? Have you ever thought about it? Do you know what your passion is? Are you working toward it, with almost everything you do?

If your are in a Domestic Violence situation, this could assist with changes you're trying to make in your life.

Remember, the rudder on a ship is really small; but it can change the course of a luxury-liner with just a slight turn of it.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #besafe #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself

Still Persevering...

Wed, 28 Aug 2024 14:33:24 GMT

Every year, in January, at my Women's Group; and periodically throughout the year, we discuss our "Word of the Year".

Over the last few years, I have felt "Perseverance" was my word; and still feel it, to this day.

That's really the only way we can move on, and grow in our lives - if we persevere; especially when times get difficult.

I have a friend that has had SUCH a bumpy (UNDERSTATEMENT!!!) year, this last year; and frankly is tired of holding on, and being strong. The other day, after hearing of yet another horrific strike to her strength, I felt physically ill.

I have no doubt she will continue battling for her mental health; but my heart aches so much for her.

She is over 1000 miles away, so there really isn't a whole lot I can do for her; but I keep her in my thoughts, and try to be encouraging. Sometimes, it feels so futile, however.

I have no doubt she will continue battling for her mental health; but my heart aches so much for her.

She is over 1000 miles away, so there really isn't a whole lot I can do for her; but I keep her in my thoughts, and try to be encouraging. Sometimes, it feels so futile, however.

This is where MY faith comes into play - I must persevere, and hold space for them; leaving them to make the decisions they need to make, for themselves. They have a responsibility to themselves to persevere, as we all do.

By the way, this is, yet, another example of how to help a Victim of Domestic Violence...can you think of a situation where YOU'VE had to persevere, and hold space for a person that was struggling? We would love to hear some of your feedback. Thank you, in advance...

Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe #perseverance

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

One Day...

Sat, 24 Aug 2024 15:41:41 GMT

How often to you find yourself saying this phrase? It can be understood in so many different ways:

- it can be hopeful...

- it can be threatening...

- it can be limiting...

- it can be completely innocent...

It can even be all of these, and more, at one time.

It's how you CHOOSE to utilize this phrase, that can make all the difference. Yes, I said choose - there are very few absolutes in life; but until you're no longer living, you can make choices for yourself. Even if it starts with a small spark inside you, at first.

One of my MANY "One Days..." was to make it to New York City, to see the WTC Memorial. I achieved it - it took me 16 years, to get there, and I only needed to be there an hour and a half; but I made my "One Day..." happen.

Another, was to help people with what I've learned about the healing process - though I originally thought I would be a Counselor, here I am. You're reading some of MY "One Day...".

Think of a time YOU said, "One day, I will ______." Have you done anything towards it? What steps are available to make YOUR "One Day..." a reality? I encourage you to really put some thought into this. Would LOVE to hear some of your ideas, comments, etc.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe #utilize #youroptions

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

If You Don't Know Them...

Thu, 15 Aug 2024 12:59:45 GMT

...then do NOT give them any information about ANYONE.

While it may seem innocent; you may not know that the person you're sharing the information with could be the perpetrator in a Domestic Violence situation.

Recently, I called off work, because I wasn't feeling well. My co-worker, innocently, told a person inquiring where I was, that I had called off that day. This person told me about the interaction. I'm not mad about it; I just had a sinus-thing going on.

However, I'm going to ask my co-worker if they KNEW the person making the inquiry; and use it as a "teachable moment". You NEVER know. That situation could have gone south, really quickly.

People need to understand that withholding information like that is NOT lying; it is just that, withholding information.

I KNOW for a fact, my co-worker would NEVER intentionally put someone in a dangerous situation; but by something as innocent as telling someone they don't know, that another person called off, they could put that person into a precarious situation. I also
KNOW they would not live with themselves well, if they did.

Have you ever innocently given out information? I KNOW I did, in the past; until I learned this tip.

All I am saying, is if you don't know the person inquiring, could it be one of those situations? You NEVER know...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

To Those That Have Passed Through...

Fri, 02 Aug 2024 15:25:15 GMT

...my life; and for those, yet to come - no matter the amount of time we were involved, you will always be a part of who I'm becoming, on a daily basis.

Whether healthy OR toxic, just know you're woven into my very patchwork.

Because of my childhood, I often fought way too hard to keep people in my life - I was so needy; and many of the ones I fought for were SO toxic. I'm not going to list them - but, they, too, play a part in the person I've become.

That's one thing many people try to do - ignore the bad (toxic) situations from their past, and just "go on with their lives"; never seeing the influence (good OR bad) that they have in their current life.

I see, and analyze EVERYTHING in my life to see it's purpose; and will eventually weed out what (or who) needs to be removed. It's not about anyone else but me. I have worked very hard to get to that point.

Do you see changes that need to be made in YOUR life? Is it time for another "growth spurt"? Only you have that power - is it time to utilize it?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Getting "Caught-up"...

Mon, 29 Jul 2024 12:59:22 GMT

...in other people's "crazy" is so easy to happen.

I recently received some beautiful 9/11 books, that someone had passed on to one of my brothers - one that the relationship has been troubled/healed/troubled/healed...since the 70s.

Our relationship is currently troubled; but as much as I love my brother - I can no longer feel like I am the only one fighting for our relationship.

I was actually contemplating having someone else address the envelope, because I wasn't sure he would even be aware it arrived. THAT is where I felt myself being pulled into someone else's "crazy". I am not calling anyone crazy, but the situation has devolved (again) into "crazy".

It can also be compared to a Domestic Violence situation - where reality isn't necessarily part of the equation. Things get skewed, and become another person's "truth".

Have you had situations in your life, where you felt yourself being pulled into someone else's "crazy"?

If Everyone in the World...

Mon, 22 Jul 2024 12:51:04 GMT

...would stand up for ONE thing, the World's "needs" would be met.

But, the same people seem to be running themselves crazy trying to "save the world".

I used to be one of them - I was so busy worrying about my family and friends, and the issues and pains they were dealing with; all the while I, myself was sinking in quicksand.

It wasn't until I stopped, slowed my brain (and heart, really), and figured out what I NEEDED to do - for me.

That's where people get off-track - they want to do it for EVERYONE ELSE; but it's not what THEY, THEMSELVES, need to be doing.

In Domestic Violence, this gets amplified - and that's where the perpetrator is in their heyday; they are soooooooo "needy" they trap their Victim in this cycle. Then when said Victim realizes, it's multiple times harder to just walk away; because of the many levels of control, manipulation, and guilt that is piled on top.

Whether in a DV situation, or just living your life, the decision to follow YOUR passion and do what YOU need to do is waiting for you.

Though it's NOT easy, it IS possible - are you at this point of change in YOUR life, yet?

Thank you, and have a good day, and Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #besafe #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

Camaraderie...

Tue, 16 Jul 2024 16:19:36 GMT

...according to Google, "...is a feeling of trust and friendship among a group of people who have usually known each other for a long time, or gone through some kind of experience, together."

However, it's not a given response - there can be such a division, when people begin to break away and fight each other, instead of their common "enemy" (for lack of a better word).

This is such a sad commentary, on our world, today, and it frustrates me. Just when we need to come together, the most, some people cave to "infighting"; and the "enemy" (whether real or perceived) gains more power.

This wastes more energy, than necessary; and it lessens the possibility of "victory" (whether real or perceived).

We ALL need to remember, we're ALL on the same team - the Human Race

I have been kind of struggling to relate this to Domestic Violence - but I remembered, this morning; when I first started seeing my Counselor, Daryl, she had such an understanding of the pain I had gone through, as a Survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I asked her, once, if she had been sexually abused, because she had such insight and understanding of the pain I had experienced.

She told me, that though she had not had THAT particular experience, she HAD been through different painful experiences, and basically "pain is pain"; but not in a dismissive manner.

She had done the work to move on from that pain, and actually uses it to motivate her to do what she does every day - to "help people help themselves".

I think this is where "the disconnect" happens. People go through painful, sometimes horrific, experiences - and rather than doing the work, and moving beyond them - to where they may be able to shine a light for someone else; they lock it up, somewhere inside themselves, and it allows them to become hard and bitter.

I respect that everyone must make their own choices; but I would rather let my experiences allow me to help people and move forward - with Camaraderie. What do YOU think?

Arrogant in MY Knowledge...

Thu, 11 Jul 2024 19:24:40 GMT

I hate, that sometimes, I become what I rail against, most often - "Educated People".

I find that I, too, can become arrogant in the knowledge I've acquired over the nearly 33 years (of my 62 years) of the "Healing Process" in my life.

That old mirror DOES show me, and QUICKLY - and it just does NOT feel good, ya know??!

I say, often, that there are seasons in my life where I kind of live in "damage control". But, all I can do, is apologize, sincerely; and move on with my life.

Now, what others choose to do with that apology, is NONE of my concern. Though I may have to live with the "fallout", I cannot change anyone else's mind.

I just must ALWAYS be aware that I do NOT become arrogant in what I know; and remember that others are on THEIR own path, and will "receive their own knowledge" in their own time.

Can you remember a time, or times, you became arrogant in YOUR knowledge? We would LOVE to hear your feedback. Our emails are listed, below. Tyia...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Utilizing ALL My Options...

Fri, 28 Jun 2024 02:01:30 GMT

I used to think "life just happened", and I had no control, or options on how my life went.

Well, "life DOES happen"; but my options lie in my responses to those "happenings".

True story - I'm working, going about my day. Someone basically "jumps" me about a particular part of what I had assumed was a part of my job, and informed me it was not.

Kind of angered me, at first. But I was able to quickly process that, and while I may not necessarily like the WAY it happened; the outcome has brought me so much more freedom, and less tension than I've had FOR YEARS!!!

You see what I did there??! I used my option to not attack that other person, or be bitter about that negative situation - turned it into a positive outcome.

That other person doesn't really care how I feel, and that's ok; because our personal feelings regarding each other don't really matter in the workplace. It's all about getting the job done; and I'm not going to care more about the company I work for, than the company, itself, appears to - regardless of how I may feel about some of their practices.

Now, in a Domestic Violence situation, this can be a little trickier to navigate. It's all up-close and personal. However, I believe that same principle applies. You cannot care more about your relationship, than the other person - amiright??!

This is one of the greatest tidbits of wisdom I learned from my Counselor. I utilize it pretty much every day of my life. It's such a versatile statement - you cannot care more about ANYTHING than the one with which you're seeking to connect.

I encourage you to go forth and apply this principle to your daily life - as YOU utilize ALL YOUR options...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe #utilize #youroptions

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Sucking the Life Out of Relationships...

Mon, 24 Jun 2024 01:41:32 GMT

This was a mad skill of mine, for a very long time - I was just SOOOOO needy. It really started in Elementary school (man, was I blessed with an AMAZING bff, since Kindergarten); but in my early 20s, when I did my own search for God in my life; boy did I eat through many relationships, then.

Not romantic relationships - that is so far out of my wheelhouse; but friendships, "Church family" relationships, you name it, I sucked the life out of many. I have redeemed quite a few, as I've gotten healthier; but some never came back - and that's OK. I only want people in my life that are meant to be; and I realize some are only for a season, anyway - realize the lesson in them, and move on from it.

My "pathological neediness" came from being raised in a Domestic Violence situation, and being an early Victim of Sexual Abuse - that neediness to fit in, well anywhere - and usually not in the healthiest way.

I used to be so ashamed of my past; but as I've worked through my issues, one painstaking issue at a time, I have grown exponentially into a person that is able to share MY story. Some through my Blogging, or in person with people (even strangers) I come in contact with on a daily basis.

My goal, nearly every day, is to be able to make some positive difference in at least ONE person's life. It doesn't matter if I am even aware of who it is; and I believe it happens.

I was able to "flip" my neediness, into being what someone else may need, at any given moment; even if I have to be bold or forward - my motivation is to follow what I feel I need to do.

Are you in a situation where you are able to "flip" a negative situation, to a positive, in YOUR life??! Give it a try...

You Still Have a Choice...

Mon, 17 Jun 2024 01:27:06 GMT

...even when life gives you things you don't want to do. One Example: If you want to be able to afford the things you want, or need in life; you should really have a job - or some steady form of income.

Now - there are different choices to be made, regarding this income (judgement-free-zone); however, there are "healthier" ways to go about this - but, you ARE free to make these choices (even if it doesn't feel like it).

When you factor in a Domestic Violence situation, and children, etc, the choices seem to become narrower; but there are still healthy choices that can be made, regardless of how "scary" it may look.

It's often hard to see the "Big Picture" from that particular angle; but you must keep on the narrower path of the healthier choices. If you fall, step off or are even "knocked" off of this path; remember where you were when you began your "Healthier Choices Journey". You may have a few "backward steps"; but you're not where you started, you're usually where you left off.

Overall, those healthier paths WILL lead you to a "better place".

It really IS all about the choices you make every single day of your life - everything starts with a single step - are you ready??!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe #choices #bigpicture #steps

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

It's Not Loyalty...

Fri, 07 Jun 2024 17:36:32 GMT

...I seek from people. That can vary too much, according to each person's perspective - which is usually different for each individual, because of it's many levels.

I seek commitment - that WE'RE going to work through the hard times, celebrate the good times; and just be there for each other for everything else - we're working on this together.

This post was inspired by a former friend that actually believed that if someone had a negative opinion of her, and I heard it and didn't speak up, that I wasn't considered "loyal". What's next - are my "knees in danger"??!

I, or she, has no control over what ANYONE else believes about a certain person, or situation. It's actually no one else's business, amiright??!

That doesn't mean it might not be a little painful; but then it's time for introspection into what is the truth. If there are changes to be made, that is up to the individual; whereas, if they don't see a problem, then that, again, falls on them.

We're to live our own lives; all anyone else can add, is their opinion, and that's where it ends.

I think that's one reason people struggle with Domestic Violence situations - they're seeking "loyalty" from their partner, instead of commitment, at the cost of themselves.

Maybe it's time for a little introspection into the truth? I'm in - challenge accepted...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #besafe #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #commitment

Break THAT Chain...

Thu, 30 May 2024 20:51:02 GMT

One of the BIGGEST "chains" in family dynamics is "Obligation".

One major obligation, is that EVERYONE MUST ATTEND EVERY family gathering; and usually minimal excuses are "accepted" (and grudgingly, if at all).

"I don't want to go" is, seemingly, NEVER an acceptable reason. But, does anyone ever ask "Why don't they want to go?" Usually, it's rebuffed with a general, "They just don't understand that you should be there".

More often, than not, there is "generation obligation syndrome" (I just made that up), going on; you just attend everything, because that's what has always been done. Good reason, right??! Not really, if being there is only out of obligation, and you don't feel like you need, or want to be there.

This was a really difficult link on MY chain to traverse, and finally break. It doesn't mean that on Holidays, or when I know gatherings are happening, I don't get a little stab of the "wah-wahs" - fear of missing out (fomo).

It's ok, we're all human, and have to make our own paths. If some gatherings make you more uncomfortable, than if you didn't go at all - don't attend. Others opinions really don't matter, when you're strong enough to be true to what YOU need.

That's the bottom line of "Breaking THAT Chain"...I challenge you. There are many opportunities for gathering, in the summer, especially. Do what YOU need to do - have your own gathering, with people you want to be there. If not, don't. It's ok...remember, your mental health is paramount.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Friend/Foe??!

Mon, 27 May 2024 15:21:12 GMT

Is "yourself" your friend or foe??!

Please ignore the improper grammar, but just ask yourself some real questions:
- Do you seem to sabotage every good thing that comes into your life?
- Are you constantly "waiting for the other shoe to drop", when something good does happen?
- Do you seem to feel "unworthy" of anything good happening?

These kinds of feelings are the result of many years of, sometimes very subtle, messages that you "just don't measure up" to SOMEONE'S expectations.

Not all abuse is hitting, or yelling in your face. Often it comes in those covert, seemingly innocent, phrases - "Are you really going to wear THAT?" "Your family doesn't like me. Why do you want to be around them?" "Why do you hang around with that person? They think I'm a jerk. Do you think I'm a jerk?"

There are many ways for negative messages to get through; and it isn't all from your significant other. It can be from family members, that have not healed from THEIR trauma; and they just pass it on to you!!!

This is obviously a huge topic, not to be solved in one post; but my goal is to make people think. So, I ask you, again: Is "yourself" your friend or foe?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Is Love Enough??!

Sat, 18 May 2024 14:55:42 GMT

Honestly, sometimes, NO!!!

In all relationships, even animal care, you have to weigh ALL your options. Every situation IS different; and there is no blanket answer.

I have had 2 pets, in my adult life - my dog, Beamer, and my cat, Motion. Both have made it to 11; but I have always said, "I don't have much to give them, only love".

As I sit here, this morning, basically waiting for Motion to pass; I have been evaluating my views. I had been contemplating another pet, in the future. I need to say, "No", for now. Watching her suffer - I don't see love as "enough". (Btw, she passed 051724 at 8:35p)

In many Domestic Violence situations; it's really a similar setting. You have to look at your options, and weigh each one out - make your choices, then live with it. Can you?

The most basic equation is:

Love = Knowing Love is not Enough

Can it really be that simple? If only...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

The most basic equation is:

Love = Knowing Love is not Enough

Can it really be that simple? If only...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

The most basic equation is:

Love = Knowing Love is not Enough

Can it really be that simple? If only...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

We Are Losing It...

Mon, 06 May 2024 02:36:39 GMT

...EVERY day. Our "human-ness"; our ability to utilize our empathy and compassion. Many of us are so busy making ourselves crazy trying to prove we're "right".

So many are forgetting about that NEEDED human connection; that we're NOT here alone. We, some much to their chagrin, need each other - for survival.

I'm not saying anything about intimate relationships - although, many of those are suffering, including friendships.

Example: I had a "one and done" friend, that I considered my "best friend". We seemed to connect on such a deep level; and I was so excited because I had finally found a "grown-up best friend".

Well, fast-forward 8-plus years - that relationship had, basically, withstood a major moment of honesty from me (although I did almost lose this friend over it, then). After that, I noticed I was "making myself smaller", in order to feel "needed". NOT a healthy existence, for anyone. I say, one good thing to come out of our Covid experience, was for me to have time to do some real work and contemplation.

I just sort of eased out of it. Had I tried to "talk it out" with them, I would probably still be there, with "myself" getting smaller and smaller. I don't hate this person; but over 8-plus years, and there's no real growth or any kind of change in a person, it makes me sad. I will always love them, and I do wish them well - just "not at my table", so to speak.

I "rollercoastered" a bit, after this experience; but I have gotten healthier, and do reach out to people. I also know I have to be aware of my "needy-people-pleaser-self''s existence.

Does any of this sound a "little too familiar" to you? Are you involved in any relationships in which you are unable to utilize your empathy and compassion in healthy ways, or are YOU "making yourself smaller"? I challenge you to take an inventory of yourself, and find out; see if you're "losing it"...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Do You Journal?

Mon, 29 Apr 2024 13:30:37 GMT

When I began my healing process, I journalled, a LOT!!! I come across an old one, periodically, and skim through it - just to see how far I've come; then have begun to shred them. I mean, some of it was over 30 years ago!!!

Looking back can be a good thing, but why keep it around? I figure some day, I won't be here - do I want someone perusing my funky thoughts from back then? Some of them were pretty scary; but all part of MY process to get where I am, TODAY. So I'm not really ashamed; but why put someone else through that?

In a Domestic Violence situation, journaling can be a tricky thing. If your perpetrator keeps a close eye on you, it could really backfire on you - so it might not be the safest choice.

But, where there's a will, there's a way; and documentation can be good. Be creative? Just keep your safety in mind...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

I Wonder...

Fri, 26 Apr 2024 13:11:11 GMT

...how much Domestic Violence has become more covert in my Community, since the Derailment? It's always been there - It's EVERYWHERE!!!

Huge life-events, like holidays, death, general life-upheaval, etc, make it rise to the surface.

Many people don't know how to process their anger at the situations life (or their own choices) places them; and they often "act out" in such unhealthy ways.

This is why my passion is my passion. I was there. I "acted out" in so many ways. It wasn't until I FINALLY found something/one to "click with". It didn't take a day, or a week, or a month, or even a year to work on my issues. Been working on them, actively, since I "crashed and burned" in 1992.

But, if you never start, you will NEVER "get there" (whatever your life-goals are).

I encourage you to start this very minute to assess your own life. Don't you think YOU'RE worth what you've been trying to give to everyone else, all these years??!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

My "Needy" Frenzy...

Sun, 21 Apr 2024 21:00:18 GMT

I read somewhere that when you don't feel wanted, we make ourselves feel needed; and realize now, that is what I've been doing my whole life." (taken from a Facebook meme created by tinybuddha)

I spent over 3/4 of my life being "pathetically lovable", and "needy". The only way I thought you could get ANY attention from anyone, was to be needy. Whelp, that's not it, at all!!!

I finally SAW what was inside me, that made me innately lovable, JUST BY BEING ME!!! WHO KNEW??!

It wasn't rocket science, and people had TOLD me this wisdom, my WHOLE life; but until I was ready to see AND accept it - didn't make a "hill of beans" of difference.

Have you been told how lovable and worthwhile your existence is, lately? Have you ever looked deep inside, to the REAL you? Is it time? I implore you to not wait until you're in your late 50s to start. By the way, if you're past that - NEVER too late to start!!!

You ARE worthwhile, just by your very existence...

I Am an Acquired Taste...

Mon, 15 Apr 2024 11:49:24 GMT

When you first meet me, I may come across as random, quirky, and CAN be downright annoying. But, if you stick it out, I am one of the "deepest pools" you may ever meet.

This used to really bother me; it now only bothers me when I am really trying to connect with someone, and they just don't "get me". Which isn't all the time, thank God!!! Sometimes, it just "clicks".

I still have to process it - which takes minimal time, anymore; and move on and wait to see what happens.

This is all on me - I understand this, now, and it has helped with ALL my relationships. Since being in "committed-til-death-do-us-part" relationships are out of my "wheelhouse"; my knowledge mainly pertains to friendships; but I strongly believe the information is transferable, don't you?

As I have, recently, begun to come out of my "safety bubble" (again) from toxic relationships, and just "life hits", in general; it's like I have to learn this all over again - but this time, it's a little different. I am ALLOWING myself to come from a place of experience.

It IS all really a choice of how you face every new situation. Bad stuff, good stuff - how you respond makes all the difference

Listening...Wait...What??!

Mon, 25 Mar 2024 12:28:48 GMT

One of my "gifts" has always been listening - more often, than not, to what is NOT being said.

I was reminded, recently, that not everyone has that gift. A friend was in kind of a scary situation, as one might be in Domestic Violence situation. She had asked numerous people to assist her (people that were assigned to "have her back"), and they dropped the ball.

It wasn't really safe for her to express the specific help she needed - it could have escalated quickly; thank God it didn't - but, she alluded to it, as best she could, and she was left hanging.

Another random person heard what she "wasn't saying", and went to her aid.

We can't "rescue", people; but we've got to stand with others, when they need our support - and attempt to listen to what's NOT being said...otherwise, you never know.

I challenge you to try and "be the difference", every day, and ALWAYS "listen"...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Well, I Did It...

Sat, 09 Mar 2024 21:33:08 GMT

Well, I did it , and it shows
Both in my scars, and my woes
Perseverance is key
To be a Survivor, like me
Life will hand you a LOT
And you have to go on

But, though a better person
Can be left warrant, and wan
But keeping to task
When it's the last thing you feel
Is the ONLY way to hold on
To a life that is REAL
The fake tries to take over
But just hold on to Faith's hand

Even when you feel faced
With a barren wasteland
Your life WILL have meaning
When you get to it's end
If you ALWAYS remember
TO BE your own best friend
(Connie J... - 031024)

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

"Sorry"...

Sat, 09 Mar 2024 21:07:06 GMT

How often do you say, "Sorry" , when you express your feelings to someone you're close to; or even work with? If it's almost all the time, maybe it's time to "reboot" your "sorry meter".

I think I've used the word, "Sorry", so much in my life, I feel like it sometimes loses it's credibility. I literally walked into a chair in my friend's dining room, once, and said it!!! THAT'S a problem!!!

I have recently decided to really reign in my apologies. Not that I am turning cold-hearted; just that I really am NOT responsible for everything bad in the world, or for everyone's choices - amiright??!

I have a tendency to "overshare" (definite sign of trauma); and attempt to "help" people when I know they're not making good choices (not just by my standards, either).

This stops, now - we may have ONE conversation, where I express my concerns; but after that, they're on their own. I'm no one's Mother, or babysitter. Also, this is my life-goal - so I will keep working til I "get it right"; then can move on to another part of my "Healing Process" .

You have to give yourself a little grace, or you just end up bitter. NO ONE is perfect, and "gets it right the first time, every time". It's in the knowledge, and effort you put in, that makes all the difference.

Now, just how often do YOU tell people "Sorry", for things you're not responsible for?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Behind Closed Doors...

Mon, 04 Mar 2024 22:26:42 GMT

Was recently hanging out with a friend, and her significant other. She didn't know what something was, that HE had lost. He was trying to get me to side with him on how dumb she was for not knowing what it was. Did I mention HE HAD LOST IT??!

He made a snide comment, and added, " Women! " I looked at him, and said, " You're a little outnumbered to be trying that, here. "

Later on, she was helping clean up; and rather than say, "Thanks for trying to help.", he said, "You're doing it all wrong. That's why I told you to leave it alone."

My point in sharing this, was that while I've known her for over 20 years - I've only known him a few months. If he felt comfortable enough to treat her that unkindly in front of me, a virtual stranger; what's he saying when they're alone??!

I'm thinking not exactly uplifting things!!! I hope SHE HEARD what I said to him, and will start standing up for herself. When he said what he said, she just kind of shrank back.

It made me sad, and angry. I was glad I said what I said - but you're not going to treat MY friend that way, especially LITERALLY in my own back yard!!!

How do you react in those kinds of situations? Having grown up in an environment like that, it gets my hair standing up on end!!! Would LOVE to hear YOUR thoughts on this...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Part of My "Patchwork Quilt of Life"

Mon, 26 Feb 2024 20:47:31 GMT

Part of My "Patchwork Quilt of Life"

Was talking to a friend, the other day, and mentioned that she's a part of my story - that got me thinking about my "patchwork quilt of life".

In the minimum 62 patches, thus far - many of them are just different shades of 1 color, per square - from black to blue, red to purple. Those were my younger days - when I was just existing, before I knew I could make a difference in my own life.

Some have pictures of people that were there, some are blank. Many have a very "busy" design, as I got older. Had to keep moving, and there are many people that I am grateful to have been there for me.

As my life has "leveled out", so to speak, there were squares created by every new "milestone" - sometimes, several per year. For example, when I began my healing process, 9/11, the Derailment, my surgeries, etc.

They are all a part of me, and who I have become - and am ever evolving into.

Take a moment, or two - who has been a part of your "Patchwork Quilt of Life". Have you ever been able to tell them thank you? Gratitude is a key element in the healing process.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Questions...

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 12:05:14 GMT

Questions...

I find I don't ask a lot of questions. I know I used to, as a child; but have recently realized, that It was really just the MANY versions of, "Why??!". (ie - how come, but if, if we do "x", etc).

I've learned that many of life's "Whys" really have no satisfying answer. Life, often just happens. We can search for an answer, and draw our conclusions - for example, I was born into the family I was, so I could develop into the individual I am, today; and help people with what I've learned. That IS just life. Isn't it??!

I, sometimes, miss out on things, by not asking questions; but, I eventually catch up...no shame to my game.

One HUGE question of my adult life, was, "Why did I have to grow up in a Domestic Violence situation??!"; to which there really is NO GOOD answer. Other than to pass on the wisdom I have gleaned from my life - which I do.

I know I was kind of rambling, a bit; but what kinds of questions do you/have you asked YOURSELF? I am always encouraged to ask questions, by my Counselor; and I encourage you to do the same - we're ALWAYS supposed to be learning, eh??!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

ALL She Had...

Mon, 19 Feb 2024 11:56:22 GMT

ALL She Had...

I have spoken about my Mother, often; but I have known all-along, that she is the reason I have my Faith.

This morning, I had an epiphany - her Faith was ALL she had. That "mustard seed", that kept her going for 92 years; and married to her "perpetrator" for 64 years.

I have carried a "chip", regarding this for over 62 years. Today, I released it, and forgave her for the "garbage" HER choices caused me to have to learn my way through.

I let it affect MY Faith. I was remembering this morning, going camping in a 2-person pup tent; with 3 people emerging to attend a local church in their "Sunday Best". ON VACATION!!! We didn't know anybody; why did we even have to go??!

Because SHE needed it - she made those hard choices, and stood by them; even when her Alzheimers took away her choice to knowingly stick to them.

I am not preaching, here; but you do have options and choices. Whatever you choose - stick to it, like your life depended on it. It just might!!! You never know...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

There's Still Time...

Thu, 08 Feb 2024 22:06:06 GMT

Whenever I'm having any confusion in my life regarding the truth, in ANY situation; my Counselor ALWAYS reminds me, "There's still time...".

Whether it's regarding a question for someone that has passed on, or a situation occurring in my life currently; she always encourages me to "ask for the truth".

It may not come in MY time-frame; but I do believe it WILL come (even if the answer is, "it's not my concern"), I will feel a sense of peace, and be able to move on.

Do you have any current situations that are kind of "robbing YOUR peace"? I encourage you to ask for the truth. It WILL come.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Don't Trip Over What's Behind You

Wed, 24 Jan 2024 16:23:53 GMT

Saw this on a t-shirt, recently and it REALLY spoke to me. I did that for a LOT of years; both before, and throughout much of my EARLY healing process. It seemed every time I made great strides forward, I would "trip" on something from my past, and get stuck there, wallowing, for a bit. Then, my brain would kick in, and I would pick up my forward momentum, again.

I just couldn't get past the FACT that what had happened in my past, while I was still affected by it, was still having the effect of tripping me up so bad - like it was still happening currently, and not in the past.

Once I was able to grasp that, solidly; though not perfectly, life got a little simpler day by day. While not getting caught up in cliches, "there is a reason the front window of a car is so large, and the rear view mirror is so small".

If you're in a Domestic Violence situation, yes, you did chose to be with that person for a reason. But, what happens from this point forward is up to you. Will you continue to "trip over what's behind you"; or make the choices to change your situation.

While life isn't all black and white, there's plenty of that unknown gray. Step out of that gray, and look at those facts to make your decisions. It will not necessarily be the easy route; but the best for you, isn't necessarily always easy. Stay strong.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

The Path...

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 16:19:37 GMT

Is the "path" you're on a path you have chosen for yourself? Or is it one that was put upon you - by generational family influence, or societal pressures, etc. Did YOU choose this path "because you felt you should", due to ANY external influence?

If you have never thought about it, and cannot say, "Yes, this is my chosen path for my life."; it's never too late.

I believe many Domestic Violence Victims unintentionally get onto that "conveyor belt" path; either by trying to NOT be like their family history, or to BE just like their history, before them. Is that really making a "choice"?

I am not saying any path you choose will be all "sunshine and rainbows", and not have its up and downs; but the point is, the choice you make about it.

Remember, while some of the circumstances may not be able to be chosen; how you respond and handle them IS the choice you CAN make.

What choices are you able to make, today, to improve the quality of your life? Would love to hear your insights on this topic.

BLOG CLOSING:

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Busy, Busy, Busy...

Mon, 22 Jan 2024 16:13:25 GMT

I recently returned to work after being off three and a half months. Have been back for a week; and been BUSY, BUSY, BUSY trying to get myself back in the groove, after taking all that time to physically heal.

I just keep reminding myself that the mental healing is as important as that physical healing; and it WILL come back. That's where many people miss that mark. They forget about the mental preparedness that helps us forge through our lives. We tend to get caught up in that "busy, busy, busy". (Btw, every time I say that, I do hear the magician from Frosty...)

In Domestic Violence situations, this busy, busy, busy is usually amplified by the chaos and disruption - which is part of that "narcissistic toolbox", to keep the Victim off-balance, and keep them under control. That's why aiming for inner peace in the middle of that chaos is so important, however difficult.

If this speaks to you, in any way - can you think of any ways to try and quiet that "busy, busy, busy", that I'm sure is just buzzing in your brain? Would be interested in your insight.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

"Easing" Back Into Life...

Wed, 17 Jan 2024 01:35:38 GMT

"Easing" Back Into Life...

After a major life event, there is a desire to "ease back into life". Is this even possible??!

Most of the time, you are EXPECTED to hit the ground running, going from 0-60 mph in 1.2 seconds.

The reality is, all you can do, is what you can do. I used to get really angry by statements like this - it felt like a platitude; but unfortunately, it's fact.

Once you're able to accept that you ARE human, that's kind of step one. That gives you a baseline from which to start. It's a part of rebuilding your life foundation; and you're not the first, nor will you be the last to do this.

Your mindset is key - no matter how many times you get knocked down, it's the getting back up that makes ALL the difference.

Are you facing anything from which you feel you need to "ease back into your life"? Have you ever thought about that part of the process?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Setting Goals…

Sun, 31 Dec 2023 14:40:02 GMT

Set Your Goals

This is a broad subject - but let's tackle it, anyway. Isn't the beginning of the year a good time to set some realistic goals?

Some questions you may want to ask yourself are:

1) Why set goals? Sometimes in life, everyday things become just that - every day. Setting a goal can "mix things up a little". If you're lacking a purpose, it can help you recapture that. If your present situation frustrates you daily, maybe you can either regain your passion, or find a whole NEW passion.

2) What kinds of goals do I have? Some of the goals I still have are: A) To publish my blog and Journal Prompts, daily & reach a national level, maybe international; & be like Erma Bombeck. B) I would like to be able to profit, and live from my writing. C) I have a few projects on the back burner I would like to have time & energy to accomplish.

3) Is it REALLY possible to achieve my goals? For a long time, my personal blog was a goal. Sometimes, you're going to feel like Peter Brady when he was building the volcano - look how THAT turned out - it blew up in his face, literally!!! But he kept going - you will NEVER achieve if you don't pursue.

4) What will I do if I fail to achieve my goals? If you don't at least try, you'll never know. You have to figure it out; it DOES matter.

5) Do I have too many goals? Are they things I would just "like to accomplish", or true goals?

6) Are my goals realistic? One goal I honestly had when in my late 20's was to be the same weight I was when I was 14 - not realistic - a child's weight in a woman's body? Uh, no!!!

7) Are my goals practical for my life, or lifestyle? Anytime I've moved, I've wanted to have an immaculately kept house. Have we met? I'm the most "chaotically organized" person you're EVER going to meet. I hate cleaning house. I HAVE been purging & getting rid of my "stuff"; but I'm still me!!!

8) Are they MY goals? When I was 19, I became the lead person in a Service Organization for young women aged 12-20. I did it, but it was my parents' goal - NOT mine. Am I better for it? I guess. I can say I did it; but really feel NO sense of accomplishment having done it.

Creating Kindness...

Thu, 28 Dec 2023 14:22:54 GMT

RECIPE FOR KINDNESS

I saw this on Facebook, recently. Am not sure of the source - but they get the credit. I will just elaborate on MY translation of it. It's pretty deep, & REALLY pretty simple:

ANYONE who knows me, knows that MOST recipes you give me, or I read about, will throw me kind of into a spin. When you break this one down - it's so simple, even I could do it. Let's get started:

a) Caring - it's the main ingredient; but if you've EVER tried to do a recipe, & skip ANY - it just isn't quite the same.

b) Love - yes, a little more is required; but still not that much in the whole mixture, to overpower the "flavor". Sometimes, it's not even love for others - it's the love of yourself; & being able to look yourself in the mirror every day knowing you're an ok person.

c) Compassion - it doesn't require a lot, again, to think about someone besides yourself.

d ) Forgiveness - even if it's someone you REALLY can't stand - be it for another person, or even yourself, it's such a small ingredient, it's not too much to ask. Remember, the bottom line of forgiveness is for your heart, really, not theirs.

e) Enthusiasm - you can accomplish this, whether you "feel like it or not" - it's not the largest ingredient. If you believe in what you're doing, it will shine through.

This day in age, there is no lack of the need for kindness.

How can you "Create a Kindness", today? You already have the ingredients - they may have been in your "pantry" so long, the dust has settled, & you can barely read the name on the container; but they ARE there somewhere. Take them out, dust them off, & "Create a Kindness"!!!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

I Watched a Movie, Today...

Mon, 18 Dec 2023 13:57:48 GMT

I Watched a Movie, Today...

The main character was very empathetic; and cared more about what others thought of her, and the situations she got into; than how the situations really impacted the way she looked at herself.

She would, sometimes, share things that had happened in her life, completely void of feeling - much of what she shared, all of which was true, caused people to look at her as if she were weaving crazy, unbelievable tales.

By their reactions to her, she achieved a twisted sense of "acceptance", at least on the surface. But, inside, she was growing more and more empty; and that void just got bigger and bigger.

Did she make good choices, and change immediately??! Nope. There were, still, occasional bad choices and slip-ups - but the difference was, when those happened, she took responsibility for them, and began to grow.

Beginning to thrive, as with plants, for example, often happens in dark places. It's not fun times, or for the faint of heart - "the struggle is real"!!!

Occasionally, even as she grows, she still falls into the familiar grooves of "people pleasing"; but spends less and less time stuck.

Her movie is not complete - and there may be sequels, and even prequels; but it will never be over.

How is the move of YOUR life progressing?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #choicesmatter #besafe

As These Holidays Approach...

Fri, 15 Dec 2023 13:38:32 GMT

As These Holidays Approach...

As this year draws to a close (finally, amiright??!), I sit and reflect on it, and can honestly say I am full of gratitude.

These last few years have been hard on many of us, for a plethora of reasons; but we are still here to tell our stories, and express our gratitude for SURVIVING them.

Now, is the time to make the choice to THRIVE. Though things may have been done TO you, thriving is often Step One to taking back YOUR power.

As a Victim, you are EXPECTED to just roll over and take whatever they give you. As you make the move from Victim to Survivor, you evolve into a Thriver.

While you don't have to say, "I am SO glad 'X' happened to me" - there is a way to flip that script, and turn your garbage situation into something beautiful.

That is my life-goal, and I challenge you. We always have choices.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

Why Accountability??!

Sun, 03 Dec 2023 13:16:15 GMT

Why Accountability??!

This was one of the hardest core principles for me to grasp. “I am an adult, I don’t have to ‘report’ to anyone.” “If I mess up, I’m the only one it affects.” “It’s MY Life!!!”

Do any of these statements sound familiar? Now, are any of these statements REALLY true? A-ha – they’re not, are they? Every single thing we do – from picking up a pebble on a hike, to cutting someone off in traffic, affects our surroundings. That pebble may have been able to thwart a rock slide in the future. The driver in that car may have been distracted for a split-second, and a 50-car-pile-up may result. You don’t know. I’m not trying to cause fear and panic – we just need to keep in tune with ourselves, our surroundings, and our relationships. The end result? Accountability!!! This is a day-to-day principle, and it requires really working at it until it becomes second nature.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Responsibility...

Fri, 01 Dec 2023 12:58:52 GMT

Responsibility...

Tackling another one of the “biggies”. This one took me a REALLY long time to grasp – I wasn’t required to be responsible for my own actions until I met some people that helped me require it for them, AND myself. I’m not really complaining about my life before I was 30, it was great for the most part. I just wasn’t “living life to the fullest”. Flying by the seat of your pants is great for awhile – but when you crash, you hit HARD!!! I crashed, and kind of burned – but, let me tell you – it’s been one heck of a climb. I am by no means done yet, though. I’m sharing all these tidbits of wisdom as we strive for them, together. I AM an expert on the climb, and the rock slide, and the climb, and the avalanche, and the climb, and the plateau; did I mention the climb??! Ha, ha!!! Being responsible is so much more than being places on time, etc. You have to LIVE it – it’s a part of your TOTAL being; and it DOES begin with yourself. It’s in the way you see yourself in the mirror – ie- “Is what I see what I really want to project?” I’m not talking just hair and makeup, and clothes – it’s in your attitude. It’s being true to yourself; not necessarily how you feel about yourself on any given day – that can fluctuate too much. It’s also in your body language – if you’re having a bad day, it IS ok. Just don’t stay there. Acknowledge it to your safe circle of friends. Journal about it if you get a chance. That is being responsible – being honest with others, and yourself. You obviously shouldn’t share it with the public, if that’s what your job is; or any other “unsafe” people. That’s another aspect – sharing yourself “appropriately” – based on your own personal, “How-it-makes-you-feel-inside”, standards. Being responsible isn’t necessarily just “following the rules”, either. I get caught up in this one, a lot. I’m in NO WAY condoning you DO NOT follow the rules. It’s knowing when you just have to, and suck it up. Like at your job – sometimes you’re going to HAVE to. If you can’t, or won’t compromise yourself – maybe it’s time to move on. Yet ANOTHER aspect of being responsible – unless you started the company, you came in on THEIR terms – they have all the power. It sucks – this was yet, ANOTHER, hard lesson for me. I’m proud to say I have been at my current job 10 & 1/2 years – the longest job of my life. I do have my moments – I push the envelope – and been darn lucky a couple of times. But, what you see is what you get with me – and when I screw up, I’m usually the first one to tell you about it. I live life in “damage control”, ALOT!!! A MAJOR part of being responsible – did I mention “the climb”??! What sort of responsibility “battles” have you had, or still have? Remember, “the struggle is real”...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Investments...

Wed, 29 Nov 2023 23:36:08 GMT

Investments...

I have been thinking about this for several weeks, now. rolling around my head – over and over – ha, ha!!! Most people, I believe, when they hear the word, immediately think of stocks. The investments I’m talking about are in yourself and others, and the time you commit to this. I used to think of others, first. MY needs were way “down the food chain”, so to speak.

I learned, the hard way, how backwards this is. If you don’t invest in yourself, and your needs, first – you have nothing to give to others. Kind of like starting a garden to eat healthier, and giving it ALL away; while kind-hearted, you’re left with nothing to eat, yourself. Also, I’m not saying in a narcissistic way. Yet ANOTHER way to balance your life. Ah, the struggle is real. Sometimes, I really wish I could clone myself. Not realistic, I know. I sit down everyday with a notebook I carry with me, and write out a to-do list. Most of the time, it has WAY more than I can ever accomplish. This used to bother me. Now, if I get half of it done, I feel accomplished. sometimes, I have gotten over 3/4 – SCORE!!! It all goes back to the investments of my time – needs, and wants, and other things are on the list. sometimes, you even have to break down and determine which ARE needs vs wants. Oy, again with the BALANCE!!! I DO fine-tune and tweak throughout the day, also. The less I have to waste my VALUABLE time trying to figure out what I’m doing, the better. This enables me to increase my investments. This did not happen overnight. Again, more of the last 23 years of progress. Right now, am sitting in a local coffee shop with about 8 projects sitting here with me. I do, sometimes, get overwhelmed; but that’s when I incorporate the “15 Minute” increment practice. It DOES help with my productivity, also. But, that’s for another time – ha, ha!!! The bottom-line of this entire post is to decide what you’re going to invest yourself in. I challenge you to really take a personal inventory, and fine-tune & tweak your own investment priorities.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Forgive and Forget (No Shade)...

Tue, 28 Nov 2023 13:26:39 GMT

Forgive and Forget (No Shade)...

Forgiveness is a tricky subject. People usually hear it, and their hand flies up in defiance; followed by the words, “I will NEVER forgive them for what they did!!!” At this point, they consider the subject closed.

In reality, the forgiveness is not necessarily for the one that wronged you – it is actually for yourself, for getting duped, probably, yet again. That’s when we kick ourselves the hardest; thereby, causing our self-esteem, and the ability to see the truth to become tainted.

One of the pitfalls, if you will, is the potential for “leftovers”. You forgive yourself, or someone else; then something happens, and you are tempted to say something, like, “I was just WAITING for this to happen, again.”, or something similar. That takes away from the forgiveness you extended – also known as “throwing shade” over the situation – begging the question, “Was your forgiveness legit?”; or was it just to look like the “bigger person” – which is kinda shady, don’t you think? I’m just saying ‘…

It will take practice, but it IS possible to “forgive and forget”; in fact, that’s the healthiest thing – then you can focus on the healing in the present FROM the past, without all that “extra stuff” that just gets in the way.

Is your forgiveness clear and sunny, or a little “shady”?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #growin2024 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

What About Those Flags (Part 2)

Mon, 30 Oct 2023 20:38:32 GMT

From Memorial Day, Flag Day, etc, and on through Veteran's Day, flags will continue flying high.

But what I want you to focus on, right now, are those Healthy Relationship Green Flags (copied from a flyer we have available at events).

Does your partner:

– view you as an equal?
– respect you and treat you fairly?
– make you feel safe (emotionally AND physically)?
– listen to you?
– discuss disagreements peacefully?
– allow the relationship to go at your pace?
– act as a positive role model for your children?
– value your opinions?
– communicate openly and honestly?
– support your goals in life?
– make family and money decisions together with you?
– compromise?
– have a positive image of family?
– make your friends and family feel comfortable?

I encourage you to take some time, and read over the flags we have discussed; and talk them over with your partner – it could be either a great confirmation (or a real eye-opener)…

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice – but, “What If…” they read something you sent them, and it just “clicks”?

*I generally share a “What If…” post, once a month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”. Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

What About Those Flags (Part 1)...

Sat, 28 Oct 2023 20:24:47 GMT

Over the Memorial Day weekend, the American Flag was EVERYWHERE!!! Many people displayed them at parades, picnics, etc.

But what about those “relationship flags” – both red and green – that were just as prevalent at many of those gatherings? Did you notice any? Do you know what they are?

Here are some examples of Unhealthy Relationships “Red Flags” (taken directly from a flyer we have available at events) – Does your partner:

– have abuse in family history?
– throw objects at your, or destroy your property?
– make you account for every moment you’re away?
– restrain you?
– ridicule you?
– threaten to hurt you, your children or pets?
– manipulate you with lies or promises?
– threaten to or force you to have sex?
– make you feel you can’t say “no” or disagree?
– isolate you from family, friends, work?
– make all your decisions for you?
– have previous contact with the Justice system?
– control all the money?
– have weapons?
– experience behavior change with drugs/alcohol?

Next Blog Post I will give examples of some Green Flags from this same flyer…

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

What Are You Gonna Do?

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 03:41:09 GMT

I know an 18 year old that has been given months to live.

With this derailment/”controlled explosion”, we have no idea what our health future holds.

I know people that get anxiety, so bad, they are unable to leave the house for most social situations.

People living in Domestic Violence situations, have very similar feelings; but the BIG question, over all is, “What are you gonna do?”

Are you just going to sit, and stagnate in your fears, lack of control, etc; or are you going to try to live your best life??!

It all comes down to your choices, and what you’re willing to fight for.

Are YOU worth it? I guess that’s a great place to begin…

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a “What If…” post, once a month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”. Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer – ozerministries@att.net .

Where Were You?

Wed, 11 Oct 2023 13:56:05 GMT

When big events happen, ie - 091101, Pearl Harbor, East Palestine Train Derailment/with following "Plume", etc; one of the most popular questions I've heard is, "Where were you when _______ happened?"

People quickly recall, and willingly share their stories; and there is an INSTANT bond, resulting in the feeling, "I'm not alone in this".

Unfortunately, in dealing with many in our basic society, Domestic Violence, for one, does usually NOT elicit this open response.

There is an almost instant reaction of shame, on all parts. In contemplating this further, I personally believe, it is the result of unprocessed personal shame; again, on all parts.

I've often heard the phrase, "People aren't asking the right questions.", when they get frustrated with something they've heard on the news, etc; maybe that's where you need to begin.

People rarely ask, "Where were you, when you lost that part of yourself you feel you may never get back?" Whatever abuse you suffered, that is just ONE of the many "side effects".

Until you deal with, accept and put that blame where it belongs - even IF there is something you actually did do, to either cause or prolong your abuse, the abuse WILL continue - inside your head.

Do you think it might be time to ask yourself, "Where were you...?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence #October2023 #awareness #protectyourself #besafe

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

What If...

Mon, 25 Sep 2023 01:41:31 GMT

...you see your Kindergartener talking to their friend, in the manner your partner speaks to you?

…they start speaking to YOU in that demeaning manner?

…your Junior High/tween starts having what you see as a mature relationship?

…your friends question you about why you let your children speak to you, or act in that manner?

…do you honestly ask yourself why, on any of these questions; or get mad at your friend?

…do you know who you’re really angry at – and is it aimed correctly?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

In Spite Of...

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 01:13:59 GMT

Sometimes, in spite of doing EVERYTHING “right”, bad things still happen:

– you graduated Summa Cum Laude from one of the top universities in the country.

– you waited to get married, until you found the “right” person – the two of you were a “match made in heaven”.

– you waited until you were financially stable to have your first child.

– you checked off all the “boxes” on your “life list”, throughout your life.

Then, ONE thing doesn’t go the way you planned; and a “trickling down” begins:

– the field you studied has changed so much, that all your training has become obsolete; and you have to start a BRAND NEW career.

– that “right person” turned into a monster, before your very eyes; and has made your family life a “living nightmare”.

– your find out your first-born has an undiagnosable birth defect, and you live your life based on the multiple lengths of hospital stays.

All those plans you made, in spite of doing the “right thing” go right out the window, and you spend a lot of time saying, “What did I do wrong??!”

It’s not you – it’s just life. Nobody knows the cards we’ll be dealt. But, it’s what you do NEXT that can make all the difference.

Sure, you do have to process through those negative feelings; but you do NOT have to “live” in them. Life truly is what YOU make it – in spite of everything.

Are there choices you could make, to make your current situation more bearable? We would love to hear some of your insights.

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

What If...

Mon, 11 Sep 2023 01:32:23 GMT

...you had to just accept your situation (even if just temporarily), could you continue to live in it?

…a totally random opportunity arose for you to make your “escape” – would you?

…your life, or the life if your children/pets were in danger, could you do whatever was necessary?

…a good friend mentioned a concern about your situation – would you listen to them?

…your significant other had charmed your family/friends into believing they were not the “problem”, you were?

…you HAD to fight for your freedom from your Domestic Abuser; could/would you?

…all seemed hopeless – are YOU worth hanging onto in this battle?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

The Trouble With Healing...

Mon, 04 Sep 2023 01:24:54 GMT

…is when you have a breakthrough, large or small, you want to share this wisdom with (often) people that just aren’t where you are, in your process. You kind of end up coming off looking like a know-it-all; rather than the kind, enlightened, helpful person you’re trying to be.

Just keep in mind where you were, before gaining this wisdom – were YOU ready to be told “an easy fix”? Probably not.

The healing process goes at a different speed, at different times, for every individual. No cookie-cutter, follow-your-handbook process, for anyone. I think, personally, that is sometimes the hardest thing to remember.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

"No Be There..."

Thu, 24 Aug 2023 10:38:13 GMT

These are the words Mr Miyagi spoke to Daniel LaRusso in “The Karate Kid”, when teaching him the “Drum Technique”

I was recently approached by a high school friend, whose husband is a sexual predator. We got together, years ago, and though she was not active on Social Media, she said her husband was, and I gave her my info.

What was the harm, right? I knew him, as she dated him all through high school; and we doubled for one of our Proms.

Well, I neglected to remember, blocked the memories, or whatever; but the night after she and I got together, her husband contacted me, and proceeded to sext me.

I initially responded, as a well-groomed Victim would. IMMEDIATELY, the old shaming memories came flooding back!!! I ended the conversation; removed, blocked, deleted, etc.

But, all these years later, the feeling of shame has still been clouding my life. I responded!!! HOW could I have done that to my friend??!

WAIT A MINUTE!!! I am not the perpetrator, here!!! As soon as I realized what was happening, I stopped it from going ANY further!!!

Sometimes, that is all you can do – move on from situations you end up in; and remember next time, “No be there!!!”

Shame is so easy to pick up and carry. It’s handle us just sticking up, and you don’t even have to miss a step, to grab it. It only gets heavier, the longer you tote it. Take responsibility for any part you may have had in a situation; AND MOVE ON!!! Drop that sucker, as soon as you can!!!

Aaaaand remember, “No Be There!!!”.

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

Forgiveness VS Trust...

Wed, 23 Aug 2023 10:23:07 GMT

This topic was suggested by Daryl – loosely based on the many stories she’s heard, over her years of counseling.

One theme was someone that had children of their own; but had been sexually abused by a family member, or close friend. They either did, or did not tell about their abuse; but were still in contact with their abuser.

Another theme was if someone had stolen from you; but you had not broken connection with them.

In either situation, you had worked through YOUR issues, and forgiven them; the question is, would you trust them, again, with your children or your belongings?

Forgiveness is not necessarily to benefit the perpetrator; it is ONE of the many steps to help the Victim establish some sort of closure.

Trust is something that must definitely be earned via a conversation regarding the offense; followed by changed behavior.

Incidentally, just saying, “I messed up.”, is NOT taking responsibility for your actions. There needs to be an apology accepting accountability; followed by taking steps to earn back that lost trust.

Remember, it is not a “given” that you will be trusted to the depth you were, before. That is solely up to the one whose trust was broken, and how.

This is definitely not an exhaustive discussion about this. What are your thoughts about Forgiveness vs Trust? Are they synonymous in your life? Should they be? Have you ever thought about it? Is it time to consider this concept?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

Share YOUR Story...

Mon, 21 Aug 2023 10:09:08 GMT

Everybody’s got one – and they are as different as the individuals involved.

So, what is YOUR story? Have you ever been able to share it, fully, with anyone? The “good, the bad and the ugly”?

Now, remember, one key element, is that it’s YOUR story. How are YOU affected by what you’re sharing. (If it involves others, depending on where you’re sharing it, you may want to “change the names to protect the innocent”/or guilty.)

I used to “overshare” information about myself, or others; and I realize, now, that I really had no reason to share some of the specifics that I did. Although my motivation was to get it out of me; it wasn’t always in a necessarily “safe place”.

Unfortunately, it’s yet another piece of this ongoing healing process; but when you’re finally able to share your story, and there’s actually minimal pain, you just may see the plot-twist in how it changed your life. Helped you become the person you are today.

Often, the people that work through the darkest pain, are able to shine the brightest light into the world.

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

Walking on Eggshells...

Sat, 19 Aug 2023 09:52:58 GMT

Do you wake up, more days than not, worried you’re going to say the “wrong thing” to your partner, and send them on an angry tirade?

Do you worry, every time you ask, “What do you want for dinner?”, that it will change before the dinner is made; and your quiet evening at home will turn into a battle ground?

Do you feel you have to ask your partner for EVERY little thing; and they treat you more like you’re their property, instead of their “life-partner”?

Are you allowed to have close friends, and see your family whenever you want to?

Do your kids feel comfortable inviting friends over to play, at your house?

If the answer to any of the above questions is “no”, there is a good possibility you are living your life “walking on eggshells” – just trying to “keep the peace” in your household.

There is also a pretty good possibility, that It’s definitely starting to wear on your “good humor”.

Have you ever thought about taking steps to lessen the strain these “eggshells” are having on your life? Do you dream of sitting down to a nice dinner, and feeling appreciated? Do you worry your kids are learning a LOT more about living in unhealthy relationships; rather than how life could/should be in a healthy one?

Is it time to think in that direction?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

What If...

Wed, 16 Aug 2023 09:39:30 GMT

…escape “looks too good to be true”; do you try, anyway?

…you have to give up the plans you had, to get away; what then?

…you reach your point of “no other choice”; do you have an “escape plan” in place?

…you stay – have you weighed all your options? Have you talked to a shelter to get reliable information?

…you tried to “squirrel away” some money; acquired a “burner phone” – asked someone you trust to keep them somewhere safe?

…you HONESTLY feel you AND your partner CAN work on your issues, together…

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

Living With Your Choices...

Mon, 14 Aug 2023 08:40:43 GMT

All day, every day, we all make choices, whether we consciously realize it, or not. From the clothes we put on, to what’s for dinner. It’s just an ordinary part of life.

What if you had to worry about having a hot pot of pasta thrown at you, because your partner wanted steak for dinner, instead? The fact that they never communicated this, and expect you to know everything they’re thinking, is irrelevant. This is just ONE example of what a Domestic Violence Victim may go through, on a daily basis.

Many people’s initial response is, “I wouldn’t put up with that…!”; or “The first time someone did that to me, I would leave!!!”, etc.

Often, the Victim is believing, in their head, that if they “just try harder”, etc; that they can change their partner, and make them happy.

The ONLY way you OR your partner can be happy, is if you start working on your own issues that keep getting in the way. There is NO “easy fix”; and things usually feel harder, before they get easier.

But, if you never start thinking in a new mindset, NOTHING will change; and things WILL get worse, anyway.

Can you, off the top of your head, think of any choices you could make to try and change your situation? Would love to hear some of your insights.

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

What Does Safe Look Like, to You?

Fri, 11 Aug 2023 08:22:52 GMT

Life, in particular, in our little hometown of East Palestine, OH, has gotten exponentially more difficult, as of late. (Am not minimizing, in any way.)

When you’re living in a Domestic Violence situation, life is, also, difficult on a daily basis. You walk on eggshells, even if your partner is in a good mood – that switch can flip SO fast!!!

I’m curious, as to YOUR personal description of “safety”? Is it people in your life that you feel you can rely on? Is it a certain memory, or “happy place” in your mind? Is it a hug from your children or grandchildren?

What can you do to grow that “Safe Place”?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe…

#oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

Like Clouds Covering the Sun...

Mon, 07 Aug 2023 01:39:12 GMT

You know how it is on a bright, sunny day, with big puffy clouds? Then, all of the sudden, a cloud passes between the ground and the sun - and there's a noticeable shadow?

While standing outside, the other day, this happened; and it made me think about Domestic Violence. Many times it's NOT a constant darkness; but a noticeable shadow over your life.

That's what is so off-putting and confusing for the Victims. A rage happens, and it's over, for awhile; and they think, "Maybe they just had to get it out of their system. They really love me, and everything will be ok, now."

Then, another shadow, or full on storm comes, and the Victim feels shame for "Being so stupid thinking that was it."; and they feel they deserve what they get, as a result.

Head games are real, people; and the only change that can happen is what the Victim works toward. All support people can do, is encourage them to make these changes - the "shadow" isn't going to just go away.

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

If You Get It...

Mon, 31 Jul 2023 00:34:18 GMT

...what are you going to do about it? (This topic was suggested by Daryl, based on the previous post, "Waiting...")

These days everybody is in the pursuit of...something; be it a family, home, car, peace, happiness - a plethora of things.

But, as we attain these goals - are we satisfied? How often do they end up completing our desire for more? Actually making us able to live happy, forever?

I'm going to be bold, and say not ever.

I think our lives are designed to be a pursuit - but as we attain each goal, we need to learn to live in that moment. THAT'S the caveat - where people tend to not necessarily "get it right".

I'm not saying they're wrong, per se; but if you're ALWAYS striving for that "gold ring", and NEVER living in your moment - how exhausting and unsatisfactory does that make your life seem? It will definitely begin to weigh on you. With all the craziness in just living day-to-day, why do we need to add more stress to our lives?

Now, I am NOT saying you should "settle" if you're in a Domestic Violence situation, especially; but if you decide to make changes, there will be a cost. But, I believe, in the long run, those costs will be worth it.

You, as the Victim, are the only one that can make those choices. You will have to decide, "What are you going to do about it?" "Can I live with the choices I am faced with?" "What if I do NOT make the changes I need, soon?"

There are all these questions, and many more - probably more questions, than answers; but still decisions to be made. But the bottom line is, "what ARE you going to do about it "?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Waiting...

Mon, 24 Jul 2023 22:13:48 GMT

I've never been good at waiting. Growing up, when people were coming to our house for dinner, I would run back and forth from the front door to the kitchen, asking my Mother, "Where are they??!"

She would patiently say, "I don't know."; at least until about the fourth or fifth time, then she would get a little testy.

Are you "waiting" for your life to improve? If you're involved in a Domestic Violence situation, the only change that will happen is the one you begin. They're most likely not going to change their ways - why would they, when they work for them?

Don't you deserve better? For yourself, your children, or even your animals?

These are choices YOU must make - what do YOU want for your life? What are YOU waiting to happen? What will it take to "flip YOUR switch"?

I always encourage you to think about what could happen if you do make changes - like a pro/con list. Remember, YOUR safety is paramount; but, what are YOU waiting for?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I would love the opportunity to share YOUR ideas in a Blog post. Please send them to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Small Changes...

Wed, 19 Jul 2023 16:35:55 GMT

Do you realize exactly how small the rudder of a ship is, compared to the size of the vessel??!

Do you know you can live a healthier life by just making little changes, every day in what you eat, and how you move throughout your day??!

Do you realize if we ALL took time for ONE act of kindness, every day; the impact that would have on our entire world??!

Many people think they can only make a difference by "going big, or going home" - that's just a bunch of hooey!!!

Ever heard the phrase, "It only takes a spark to get a fire going"? Truth...think about it.

Subtle, little changes are what are going to make the biggest impact on your current life, to get you to the life you desire; and it IS possible - not necessarily easy, but possible.

Are you ready to see that difference? What have you got to lose, really? Choose you, and see what a real difference just THAT choice can make - add in a lil "you are worthwhile", and BOOM - just imagine. Now, put it into action...I encourage, and challenge you!!!

No matter your life situation - subtle changes CAN be your answer...

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a "What If..." post, once a month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer - ozerministries@att.net .

From MY Heart...

Mon, 10 Jul 2023 21:17:42 GMT

I'm going to get a little personal, here. What I write comes from my heart - what I feel compelled to write - from either a conversation with someone, or a Facebook post I've seen, etc.

I write what I live - from my past, my present, and my hopes for the future. I, by NO means am an expert - I have a plethora of knowledge on a plethora of random things that have touched my life in so many random ways. They had an Effect on me, and I choose to utilize them to have an Affect on others. (WHEW!!! I have been sitting on that phrase, for years!!!)

I often jokingly hold my hand out to people when we're "conversatin", and say "Welcome to Left Field". It's my "happy place" - that took me a LONG time to grow into. I have long ago accepted it is my lot in life; and could either let it take me down, or learn to thrive in it.

A LOT of this wisdom I've gained has come from being raised in a Domestic Violence situation; and the MANY years I have worked (with MUCH assistance) to overcome - in September, it will be 32 years since my "healing process" began (over half my life).

It hasn't been easy; and some days are definitely still easier than others - just know I plan to speak my truth with whomever will listen, until I can speak no more.

My hope is, that even ONE person can be inspired by my story. But, don't we ALL have stories? What if we ALL could share our stories? IMAGINE if we all could inspire change in just ONE person??!

As I've stated before, unfortunately, Domestic Violence is woven into the very existence of us, as humans. It is the choices WE make, every day, that makes the difference. While becoming a Victim, unfortunately is not one we have power over - our power lies in not being labeled a Victim, anymore.

What is your story? How can you utilize it to inspire someone else? Are you willing and able to harness YOUR power to overcome - in both Domestic Violence, AND life??!

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

Another Holiday...

Mon, 03 Jul 2023 04:04:55 GMT

This past weekend, and beyond, people have/will be gathered for the Fourth of July, with picnics, etc. There is usually alcohol, for many.

These gatherings, and that alcohol (but not always) can set the perfect "stage" for a Domestic Violence perpetrator.

They can "let loose", and take NO responsibility for how they treat their partner, "Because it only happens when I'm drunk!!! You KNOW I'm not usually like that!!! Lighten up - I'm just trying to cut loose and have a good time!!!"

Sound familiar??! Have you ever observed this type of scenario regarding yourself, OR witnessed it happening to someone in attendance? How did it make you feel, in either case?

These are the types of scenarios I encourage you to pay attention to, when you go anywhere - but especially if it's people you really care about.

Remember, ONE person CAN make a difference...will it be you?

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe...

#oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I generally share a "What If..." post, once a month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs". Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer email, ozerministries@att.net .

Hidden Agendas

Thu, 29 Jun 2023 20:30:44 GMT

Believe it, or not, NOT everyone has an evil plan to hurt you. Unfortunately, there ARE most likely a few “ne’er-do-wells” in your life.

Avoiding them is almost impossible; becoming their prey, IS TOTALLY avoidable, thanks to boundaries, and their proper implementation.

When you set a boundary – I, myself, see it kind of like an “electric fence”. You’re not really walled off – which separates not only everyone from YOU; but walls separate you from everyone else – which can be very counterproductive in your healing process. (Remember, separation is one of the “tools” in a “perpetrator’s toolkit”.)

The electric fence is still approachable, and discussions can be had, etc; but if they get out of line – “zap!!!” Remember, when they say you hurt their feelings, in reaction to your response, to remind them of the boundary you set up, first. No need to argue, just stick to it!!!

They’ll learn, usually the hard way, exactly what a boundary is – and they probably won’t like it. But, that’s not really your problem, now is it?

That’s usually when the “hidden agendas” appear – when they can’t get beyond your solid boundary, and try to manipulate you to get what they want – attempting to turn you back into a Victim, again. #nopenopenope

Can you think of any examples, over your lifetime, or even currently, where you allowed your boundaries to get mowed down?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a “What If…” post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”. Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer, at the website ozerministriesinc.com , or email, ozerministries@att.net .New Paragraph

What CAN I Do??!

Tue, 27 Jun 2023 15:20:40 GMT

I used to be a “fixer”; and uber codependent. I tried to save EVERYONE around me from suffering…well…ANY kind of emotional pain.

This led to me, basically, “absorbing” a LOT of pain and suffering from everyone around me – and it didn’t really lessen THEIR suffering – we BOTH ended up miserable. Trust me, that can wear on a person – REALLY fast, and go deep.

I finally learned (and still get little lessons, periodically) that it is NOT my job to fix things (or ANY other person’s, either). It’s the individual’s choices – AND responsibility.

Our job is to be available for others, to form relationships to support one another – like a bridge. Ever really looked at one? They have the basic platform; but there are usually cables, or extra beams, etc, to support that platform – how droopy and quickly worn down would it be, without all that support??! Not a bridge that I would like to go over.

But, there is a way to be supportive, without getting enmeshed in someone’s suffering. Empathy is one great tool – but pity is counterproductive.

For example, the empathetic individual comes along beside, and supports them – like those cables or beams on the bridge. A team effort; while pity would only add more strain and weight to that already droopy bridge/person.

It’s okay if you cannot help EVERYONE. My theory is, if everyone in the world could be kind and help ONE person, all the world’s problems could be solved – but the small “handful” of kind individuals are trying to solve ALL the problems.

Realistically, all you can do, is what you CAN do – and only you know what that is. By the way, being guilty into doing things, only makes you resentful – something else that is counterproductive.

The NUMBER ONE thing you can do, is keep trying…

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe in this upcoming New Year…

#oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I generally share a “What If…” post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”. Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer, at the website ozerministriesinc.com , or email, ozerministries@att.net .

What To Do??!

Mon, 26 Jun 2023 08:02:46 GMT

Helen wasn't sure what she should do!!! She had been contacted by a former classmate, Blanche. A few years ago, after a class reunion, while getting together for lunch, they had discussed Facebook. Blanche, said though she didn't have a page, her husband Frank, spent a lot of time on it. Helen gave her the information to give Frank. They had doubled a few times and hung out, in high school, so she knew Frank, and thought, "What the harm?"

Well - back in high school she had been VERRRRRY needy, and targeted by many predators. She had done a lot of work, since then, and put most of her predators where they belonged - in the past. Apparently, her memories of Frank had been blocked - until that night, when he sexted her over Facebook Messenger. She had always been a very good victim, shall we say; and just fell into old times so fluidly, it was scary.

As soon as she realized what was going on, she got off Messenger, and proceeded to block, remove, everything she could do regarding Frank. BUT, she had still crossed her line, and the shame and guilt came rushing in!!!

Incidentally, when they got together years ago, Blanche had been going on and on about all the divorces in the class; and how proud she was that she and Frank had been together since she was 14 (she was now in her mid-50s).

Fast-forward - Blanche contacted Helen recently, and wants to get together. Since that incident, years ago - every time she has thought of Blanche contacting her, again, Helen has dreaded the thought. So guilt-ridden, it was almost paralyzing. When she did contact her - the guilt came - but the difference was when Helen realized she HAD done the right thing after she realized what was going on with Frank, and stopped it immediately. She took responsibility, so WHAT DID SHE HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY FOR??! She didn't contact him for immoral things, right??!

Helen has decided she is going to tell Blanche everything. The friendship may survive, or it may not; but most importantly, Helen will be able to live on guilt-free from yet another ugly thing in her past that was dealt with in a healthy manner.

Life is really hard, sometimes, and choices MUST be made. Always remember - YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR!!!

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

Those Hard Choices...

Wed, 21 Jun 2023 06:13:54 GMT

I have witnessed both short-term, and lengthy marriages over my lifetime.

The strongest ones have NEVER been with one partner, or the other, "in charge", so to speak.

Strength in one person CAN make the relationship last for many years; but I, personally, wouldn't call it a "healthy relationship".

As with everything in life, there has to be a balance - a "give and take" from both partners.

While I do respect everyone's choices in the matter; I still reserve the right to have my opinions - which, in my family, especially - may not be in alignment with everyone. But, I digress.

Each person within that relationship must decide what they will, or will not tolerate in their relationship.

Have you ever had to make those "hard choices"?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

What If...

Mon, 20 Feb 2023 02:07:13 GMT

...as a victimized man, or woman, you think no one will believe you – would they have believed your Father or Mother was a Victim?

…all of your “buddies” don’t understand, “Why you put up with all that drama”?

…all the plans you made for Valentine’s Day backfired on you; and you just couldn’t make them happy?

…you started working on yourself, and they saw the strengths you have – would you stop, if they weren’t happy with those changes?

…something better for your relationship could come out of just “one change at a time”?

…it doesn’t change anything in your relationship – have you thought about your next move?

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolenceNew Paragraph

Is Yours a SUPER Bowl Party

Sat, 11 Feb 2023 02:50:26 GMT

...or are you afraid of what will happen, after?

Statistically, Domestic Violence incidents rise near the end of the game, and right after – especially if it’s a favorite team, and heavily contested – whether they win OR lose. Then, if you add alcohol to that mix??! There are an infinite number of factors that could affect the safety of a Victim.

People often ask how they can help someone they know. Invite them to your party. Limit alcohol availability. Do what you can, to mitigate the possibility of further victimization. Be creative…have the partners in another room, doing something else, while the game is on.

There is NO “playbook”, for helping a Victim. You never know if what you do will make a difference – if you feel led, listen to that. Believing the Victim and having Awareness, is a great place to start.

Perpetrators gonna perpetrate; but if people do what they can, it could possibly save someone’s life. You really never know…

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

What If...

Mon, 30 Jan 2023 03:20:29 GMT

…you made the choice to stay; and then you realized the truth – and changed your mind, again?

…someone called you out when that happened – and then accepted your explanation?

…you could stand up for yourself, and move from Victim to Survivor?

…NOBODY seemed to understand your decisions – could you stand on your own?

…ONE person stood by your side – even if it’s your child…can you stand by them?

Have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a “What If…” post, once, every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”. Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer, at the website – ozerministriesinc.com , or email, ozerministries@att.net .

Unsolicited Advice...

Mon, 23 Jan 2023 16:50:21 GMT

Unfortunately, even as a Domestic Violence Awareness Advocate, I have been guilty of this – not as much recently; but early on, oh yeah

While the motivation may be purely to help; a BIG part of the transition from Victim to Survivor, is learning how to ask for help.

Think about it – they’re living in an environment where nearly every moment of their life they’re told what to think, feel and do. If YOU do that with/for them; how will they learn to think, feel and do, for themselves?

Here are some practical ideas, especially if you are personally involved in a Victim’s life. Keep some things handy:

– up-to-date local shelter information
– a basic, adaptable Emergency Plan
– maybe keep a “burner phone” handy
– do some research for more ideas
– ask the Victim what “support looks like” for them
– remind them to practice a little self-care – even if it’s only two minutes alone in the bathroom to catch their breath, can help.

Irregardless, you want to wait for them to ask for help. Now if an opportunity arises to mention something – give them a “small bite” of information. Again, in Domestic Violence, “overwhelm” is another perpetrator tactic – it keeps them off-balance, thereby, easier to manipulate.

Have you ever been given, or given someone else “Unsolicited Advice”? Think about how it made you feel, and follow your own instincts on how to proceed. They’re there – but like everything else, YOU have to learn to listen.

Thank you, have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

Peace, Will, and Ability...

Sat, 31 Dec 2022 15:29:10 GMT

These are some things it takes to to become a Survivor, of anything – but I’ll say of Domestic Violence, for one.

This year is coming to an end in a few days. I challenge you to begin January, 2023, with the mindset to change. I’m NOT talking about New Year’s Resolutions – if you ask me, they’re a bunch of hooey (just my PERSONAL opinion).

Here are THREE things to start thinking about that can help you facilitate change in your life, and current situation:

– Peace – this is the calm you CAN feel in any storm. Whether you feel you’re being beat up by life, or someone else – even yourself.

– Will – is the determination to make serious changes in your life. You don’t have to switch 180 degrees to change your direction – one or two degrees at a time can make a huge, but subtle change.

– Ability – is utilizing ALL the skills you probably already have. For example: are you, or were you once, good with people? Dig into that, and see what changes you can make, now? Be creative.

What other words inspire(d) you to make changes in your life? We would LOVE to hear your input…

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe in this upcoming New Year… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a “What If…” post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”.

Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer, at the website ozerministriesinc.com , or email, ozerministries@att.net .

This Christmas

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 13:44:06 GMT

As children, many of us are encouraged to make wishes on eyelashes, falling stars, dandelion poofs, etc. Christmas, also, is a time for wishing and believing.

Many children, especially those who are or have been sexually abused and/or exploited, or those trapped in Domestic Violence situations, learned early-on that many childhood wishes just don’t come true the way they want them to.

These children generally grow into adults that don’t believe anything remotely positive can come their direction. Their relationships suffer, they feel they will NEVER get anywhere in life – because they don’t deserve any better. They’re just so down-trodden.

This Christmas, I ask you to notice those people – now, don’t get caught up in their negativity; but see if you can help them see ONE positive thing in their life. Maybe it’s someone you dread seeing at every family gathering – “Uncle Sourpuss”, or “Cousin Never-has-anything-nice-to-say-to-ANYONE” – start thinking about it now, and go to that dinner determined to TRY and make a difference. (They may not make a transformation before your eyes; but maybe, just maybe, change may come.) If they choose NOT to change, you did your part, and can rest well in that.

Then, the next day, or gathering (New Year’s Eve is next week – wink, wink) – try again, with someone else. “It only takes a spark to get a fire going.” BE that spark for someone. Who knows, you may get to witness THEM being a “spark” for someone else, some day!!! How AMAZING would that be??!

Wishing you a safe Holiday… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a “What If…” post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”.

Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer, at the website ozerministriesinc.com, or email, ozerministries@att.net.

What If...

Thu, 22 Dec 2022 15:56:11 GMT

This Holiday Season doesn’t end on a positive note, no matter how hard you try?

…no matter how hard you try, you cannot seem to “catch a break” regarding your significant other?

…you’re away from your ex, but they’re still “pulling the strings” where the kids are concerned?

…you could demonstrate for your kids how to not be a doormat?

…the Holidays turn out as bad as last year’s?

Have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a “What If…” post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”.

Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com ; or through Ozer, at the website – ozerministriesinc.com , or email, ozerministries@att.net .

Regarding the Apology That Never Comes...

Sat, 17 Dec 2022 07:33:12 GMT

With Domestic Violence, as well as MANY of today’s hot-button issues, there quite often is no apology made to wrongs committed to Victims.

We need to take the time to learn to accept this, as difficult as it is – because it is part of the equation to move beyond the hurt, into healing. (Kind of like putting a rubber mat, or rock salt under your wheels to get traction in the snow.) Otherwise, you can “sit and spin” for years, decades, or even the rest of your life.

Its definitely not fair, but it is one of those things in life that never will be. You can either let it drag you down, or you can be grateful for the knowledge that there IS a way to move forward; and there are always choices.

This isn’t necessarily a quick-fix, either – this was one of those walls I kept running into in MY healing process; until one day, it finally just clicked.

Do you have an “apology that never came” to overcome in YOUR life? Is this your sign to begin more forward growth?

Have a good day, and be safe… #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a “What If…” post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR “what ifs”.

Please send your “What If…” ideas to Connie J… – beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer, at the website ozerministriesinc.com, or email, ozerministries@att.net.

Are You Thankful?

Wed, 16 Nov 2022 07:14:12 GMT

Granted, if you are involved in a Domestic Violence situation, you're probably looking at this, and asking if the writer is nuts!!!

However, it's a legit question - usually there are some good times, although in many cases the abusive times outweigh and overshadow them.

But, when we work really hard to remember the good times, in balance with not forgetting those bad times - this is where our "power to overcome" those bad times begins to grow.

See, it's all in that delicate balance, ie - being aware of how much hate there is in the world, makes the love that exists that much more precious, and powerful.

What can you find to begin to be thankful for? It doesn't have to be something huge - just start the process with something small, like, "We made it through everybody getting off to school with only ONE lost shoe, instead of two whole pairs.". Or, "There was only ONE outburst at dinner, last night; and my significant other didn't make anyone cry."

What are some things YOU can find to be thankful for - look for them, commit them to memory, write them down, if it's safe. Look hard, there IS something there...

Have a good day, and be safe, and thankful... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a "What If..." post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs".

Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer Ministries, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.

Choices for Changes...

Wed, 09 Nov 2022 07:00:27 GMT

Regardless of your current situation, nothing will ever change until you make the choice to make changes in your life.

If your current relationship isn't what you desire, take some time to figure out:
A - what differences would you like to see?
B - what changes can YOU make to work toward those differences?

Remember YOU cannot change anyone else's choices, no matter how hard you try. This is the caveat wall that many people tend to run into - hard. "Well, if they would only..."; "If you could just..."; "Can't you see what you're doing..."; etc.

No one will change, until they see the need to - regardless of how many people are hurting, as a result.

You just have to figure out what you're willing to tolerate, if they don't change, we all have a "right" to our own choices - but our tolerance of them is an individual choice; especially if there is abuse of any kind involved. NOBODY has a right to abuse anyone else, EVER.

Have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a "What If..." post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs".

Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer Ministries, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.

What If...

Thu, 03 Nov 2022 06:46:40 GMT

...my daughter/son gets involved with a person that acts just like the person I'M with?

...they're not willing to listen to me, anymore than I was willing, to anyone else?

...things get too hard for them to handle - what can I say, to help them see?

...I DO NOT open my mouth, at least, and things get really ugly? Can I live with that?

...I do take the chance to speak, and they separate from me - how will I handle that?

...I could be the one to break the "generational curse" in my family?

Have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a "What If..." post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs".

Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer Ministries, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.

Narcissistic Tendencies...

Wed, 26 Oct 2022 06:36:34 GMT

Are you aware that EVERYONE has them?

I recently had a conversation with someone, and they said they felt the word "Narcissist" was thrown around too much. This person had a conversation with a therapist, specifically asking if they, themselves, were a narcissist.

Their conclusion to the conversation was, no they were not - but everyone can have narcissistic tendencies.The fact that they cared enough to ask, was the game-changer. Most do not.

The fact of the matter is, in most Domestic Violence situations, the narcissist involved does NOT care about their "narcissistic tendencies" - because they don't want to see themselves as the problem. It's ALWAYS someone else - their "blame game" IS strong. They make the choice to let their "Narcissistic Tendencies" rule them - thereby attempting to rule everyone in their path.

There is no "cut and dried" answer- every situation is different. It's all about the choices each individual makes.

Plus, we must remember, that when a Victim says they are a Victim - NOBODY has the right to tell them they aren't, because their feelings are valid. We can't tell anyone that how they feel is wrong - no matter who you are.

I hope this inspires you to keep telling your story; and please reach out for help if you're a Victim OR a Narcissist. There IS hope, and a way to make changes in your life...

Thank you, and have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a "What If..." post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs".

Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer Ministries, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.

"Sorry"...But ARE You??!

Mon, 24 Oct 2022 05:57:48 GMT

People are often quick to say, "Sorry." But are you working to change the behavior you are sorry for?

This is one example of how the cycle of abuse is perpetuated in a Domestic Violence situation. The perpetrator loses control - usually over something minor, and the Victim is left standing there, in shock, wondering what just happened. Then, sometimes immediately, sometimes not, the perpetrator will be super apologetic, and say phrases like: "I promise that will never happen again." "But I was just mad." "YOU (insert Victim blaming phrase here)." - and so on.

It happens outside of Domestic Violence relationships, also. Have you ever had a friend say a cutting remark to you, then try and play it off as a joke, when you express how you felt about it? They usually apologize something like this, "I'm sorry you took that personally. I was just joking. I didn't mean anything by it. You're just so sensitive." - etc.

My personal "favorite" is, "I'm just being honest." - WOW!!! WHO are you trying to convince??!

What "apologies-NOT" have you heard?

Have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a "What If..." post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs".

Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer Ministries, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.

Revenge Isn't...

Sat, 22 Oct 2022 05:36:24 GMT

Practical. Profitable. And it NEVER "hits" who you're aiming at. It really IS a waste of your time and energy.

Regardless of the abuse you have had in your life, you should try and focus on being grateful you're still here, for one.

Am NOT saying that legal action shouldn't be taken on a perpetrator, either. Always do what you can/need to do - your safety IS paramount.

I, personally, am a firm believer in "what goes around, comes around"; and "payback" isn't part of my "toolkit".

I, also, think this is for more "down the road", when you are abke to move on from your abuse, and actually able to process what happened. You, and only you, will know when it's time.

Until then, do what you need to get through each day.

Have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a "What If..." post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs".

Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer Ministries, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.

What If...

Sat, 08 Oct 2022 05:16:17 GMT

...you notice the people around you that seem like things just "aren't quite what they seem"?

...you look at that co-worker that is always talking about their significant other, and speak up and ask if they are a Victim?

...you mention Domestic Violence, and look into the eyes of the ones you're speaking to, and see a flicker of "recognition"?

...you wear a purple ribbon, and someone asks you what it represents?

...you look back on your life, and you realize that you were a Victim, as a child, and that's the underlying reason for your "relationship issues"?

...just opening your mouth could help ONE person?

...you get the purple hair extensions, and someone asks, "Why purple?" (see previous posting for details)

...you decide to walk in the local walk... (Columbiana County, OH info - "Take Back the Night Walk" - Th, October 13, 6pm @Christina Center - 115 Washington St, Lisbon, OH)

Have a good day, and be safe... #oneinfour #ithappenstomentoo #dviseverywhere #domesticviolence

*I share a "What If..." post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs".

Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer Ministries, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.

Changing MY World...

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 13:12:48 GMT

When I first became aware of my "leftovers" from being raised in a Domestic Violence situation, plus; I wanted to change THE world.

As I dug deeper into my healing, I learned that to make a difference in THE world, I have to get MY world together, first.

I had to deal with MY issues, and allow myself to heal.

So yes, even if you have children, you have to take care of your healing, first - every airline boarding tutorial speaks specifically to parents, regarding an in-air emergency, and the oxygen masks.

You are instructed to make sure you get YOUR mask on, securely, before assisting your child with theirs. The moral of the story, is, if you pass out, you're no good to assist anyone.

This is a good thing to remember in life, also.

Have a good day, and be safe... #listen #ibelieveyou #doyouhear

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I share a "What If..." post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs".

Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through Ozer Ministries, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.

The Concept of "Letting Go"

Wed, 28 Sep 2022 12:56:08 GMT

Normally, when people think about letting something/someone go - they get caught up in all the negative that is usually associated with that process - and I'm not just talking about Domestic Violence.

There IS a positive side to it, also; and this is where you need to focus, to begin to heal.

Yes, you are letting go of someone/something you love - but you have to weigh the cost of NOT letting go.

Does this sound familiar in your life?

Have a good day, and be safe... #listen #ibelieveyou #doyouhear

*October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Please share this post, no matter what month it is, to help get the word out. The Victim has to make the choice - but, "What If..." they read something you sent them, and it just "clicks"?

*I share a "What If..." post, on the first post of every month, and I would love the opportunity to share YOUR "what ifs".

Please send your "What If..." ideas to Connie J... - beamererin@yahoo.com; or through
Ozer Ministries, at the website or email, ozerministries@att.net.