Pondering Love... (Connie J...)
On this Valentine's Day, I am pondering Love. What IS Love, anyway?
In the movies, it's portrayed as two people looking longingly into one another's eyes - the music builds, they embrace - and...
You know the rest.
However, in real life, this whole topic - at least the partner to partner kind of Love - is waaay out of my "area of expertise"; but, I am pretty sure the above happens more often in the movies and on tv, than in real life.
Unfortunately, a lot of people in relationships have the antithesis of this; with the expectations for "movie" love.
Their partner is constantly belittling them, physically damaging them, and mentally chipping away at their very soul - until they're completely oblivious, and lying there a virtual pool under their feet.
They used to have friends, but after so many conversations ending with, "...no, they're not like that. You don't even know them. They LOVE me!!!"; or, "I know we were supposed to hang out, and they said they would stay with the kids, but now they are too drunk for me to leave. I know this happened last time, but...".
This is if they are even still in contact at all, with anyone but their significant other. Oftentimes, their world, so to speak, only exists with their partner and children, within the four walls of the home.
Because they are so controlling, and manipulative - connections with friends, family, even a job, has been severed - adding more volatility to the situation.
Things seemingly go "good" for awhile, usually after a major blowup; then a "Special Occasion", such as a Holiday, or a new baby, or a Tuesday, comes up, and...
They're ALWAYS apologetic. "I'm sorry I got so mad, and hit you. You just REALLY made me angry, and...", or "If you just would have left me alone when I got home...", and my personal fave, "Why do you ALWAYS need to know where I've been??! Get out of my way!!!"
As I have shared around other Holidays, just keep in mind, and an eye out - not everyone is having a GREAT time.
Does any of this sound a little too familiar? Do you feel trapped in a relationship? Stuck, controlled by your partner? Keep in mind, control takes on many forms - what other ways are familiar to you? Have you ever really thought about it? Do you feel safe in your relationship, and in your home?
Have a good day, and be safe... #EtSoV #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE