Revisiting a Regret vs a Mistake (Connie J...)
"With a regret, you violate your own boundaries/values. Everyone makes mistakes. The regret is harder to let go." (DKH - 1/30/17)
Sometimes, this is one of the hardest things for a Victim of Domestic Violence, or anyone, to deal with.
We all make mistakes in life. Making a quick choice to change lanes on the freeway without taking that extra beat, DEFINITELY qualifies as a mistake.
In a Domestic Violence situation, or any relationship, getting involved with a toxic person, whether you're aware of it or not, also qualifies as a mistake. Remember, ANYONE can make a mistake.
The regret comes after they feel stuck and allow the other person to chip away at their self-esteem, their core values and beliefs, etc. Regret IS a bitter pill to swallow, and CAN take years to work through and get over.
At times, the regret and mistake appear to be one giant mass, and that makes it more difficult to deal with.
At that point, you need to take a moment, look at the situation and break it down into smaller pieces. You don't just start gnawing on a cake or pie; you slice it and eat one piece at a time.
Remember, there ARE people around, in your circle, or professionals, that can help you move on from your Mistakes even if they have evolved into Regrets. You are NOT alone, though you may feel like it.
Personally, I screw something up, every day, and it used to basically paralyze me - it took me a VERY long time (years) to realize that NOBODY is perfect. NOBODY just floats through their healing process with no pitfalls. Anyone that either says, or eludes to that, makes me wonder how far into the healing process they let themselves really go. I am not being judgmental, in any way.
How is YOUR process going? Do you feel paralyzed, or like you have to start completely over when you make a mistake? What regrets may you be living with? Is it time to move forward from them?
Have a good day, and be safe... #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE #EtSoV