What I Learned About Boundaries From My Cat... (Connie J...)
As October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, comes to a close, (although we should be carrying the message regarding #ENDtheSILENCEofVIOLENCE all year), I would like to reinforce the term "Boundaries".
I use my cat as an example, because when I first brought her home, I was bleeding all the time!!! She picked me, and I knew we were meant to be together; however, I had to learn to respect her boundaries.
It took us over a year, til I was not constantly nursing a pretty bad wound. At one point, my friends were worried I was going to take her back to the shelter. I NEVER gave up, though.
She was badly hurt by someone, before she came to me. I got her 12 days after putting my dog down, so we were both hurting, and had to grow, together. It's a process, and I still push her beyond her comfort level, periodically, (just trying to get her to let me trim her nails; and pay dearly, sometimes); but she knows I would never intentionally hurt her. We had to learn to trust each other.
We BOTH were willing participants in this endeavor. That is crucial in ANY relationship, regarding Boundaries. If only one side (if you will) of the relationship is actively participating in this, THAT is when it becomes abusive.
This is crucial in ANY relationship; but especially in a life-partner situation. Balance, and teamwork are not just words.
Have a good day, and be safe...