Feb. 2, 2017

#NOMORE A Regret vs A Mistake.. (Connie J)

"With a regret, you violate your own boundaries/values. Everyone makes mistakes. The regret is harder to let go." (DKH - 1/30/17)

This is sometimes one of the  hardest things for a Victim of Domestic Violence, or anyone, to deal with.

We all make mistakes in life. A close friend recently told me about a situation that happened to them. They were buying lunch, using a bank card that they only use in one store. The minute transaction was declined, and upon further investigation, they discovered that fifty dollars was pending withdrawal the next day. My friend was livid, as they thought they had been hacked. There was a phone number listed within the description of the transaction, so they decided to call it, and found it was one of those background check sites, where you pay a dollar for the trial period and if you don't cancel within five days, the site bills you the monthly service fee. My friend had utilized the site, gotten busy, and never made it back to cancel. After, well, not being the nicest person to the person at the other end, my friend realized it was their own fault, and by the end of the call they felt like a complete idiot, and was out the fifty dollars.

The mistake was going on the site, not following up correctly, causing the loss of the fifty dollars. This was just a rather expensive life-lesson.

The regrets in all this, was that my friend works in customer service, and had treated the person on the phone the way they hate to be treated. Also, they had gotten involved in a situation that was none of their business in the first place.

In a Domestic Violence situation, getting involved with a toxic person, whether you're aware of it or not, qualifies as a mistake. Remember, anyone can make a mistake.

The regret comes after they feel stuck and allow another person to chip away at their self-esteem, their core values and beliefs, etc. Regret is a bitter pill to swallow, and CAN take years to work through and get over.

Sometimes, the regret and mistake get all rolled up into a ball, and make it difficult to deal with. Take a moment, look at the situation and break it down. You don't just start gnawing on a cake or pie; you slice it and eat one piece at a time.

Have a good day, and be safe...  #NOMORE #KNOWMORE