Dec. 17, 2015

#NOMORE Following Your Heart When You've Made a Commitment... (Connie J)

Sometimes, when you've made a commitment to something, or someone, when you proceed with it, it doesn't go exactly the way it's foreseen. This can happen in a relationship, too. What do you do? The two of you have committed to each other, whether by getting married, deciding to live together, or whatever it may be.

As the relationship proceeds, you notice little changes, some for the good, some not so good. If you are able to talk them out, and you BOTH decide to compromise on the changes, and you establish there is no abuse of power or manipulation going on, from either side; that symbolizes a healthy relationship.

Now, if either side feels they're being manipulated, and the other person has walled them off (either emotionally OR literally); is being physically, mentally, or financially abusive, etc; THIS IS A CAUSE FOR CONCERN!!! Especially if they're trying to separate you from every one else, and "they're the only one who REALLY understands you and knows what's best for you", etc. This is NOT a healthy relationship.

This is where YOU HAVE to listen to your heart. You are at a major point of decision.

Number 1 - there is NO shame to be in the position you're in. Everyone has made a decision or two in their lives that wasn't necessarily the best.

Number 2 - you remaining in this situaion WILL NOT help it get better. ESPECIALLY if you have kids. Them witnessing you being ground down like cornmeal on a daily basis will NOT help them; it hurts them, and their view on how a healthy relationship is supposed to be.

Number 3 - if you feel you deserve this, MAJOR red flag - NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED!!!

Did you hear that??! NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED!!!

Now, if you are a person observing this behavior, what do you do. Follow YOUR heart. Unfortunately, you can't make the person involved change - that would be controlling - you have to care enough about the relationship to possibly make them mad and share your feelings and observations; but THEY have to care enough about themselves to make the break from their relationship.

Remember, it's NOT an EASY decision for them, either.

The Holiday Season makes stress levels go up for everyone. Be hypervigilant and observant; and keep those on your Domestic Violence radar in your thoughts, expecially.

Have a good day, and be safe...